Can I marry in a church?

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stacielynn369

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My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
 
Schedule an appointment with your local Catholic parish for wedding planning. I believe you have to do this six months in advance of your intended wedding date. The priest will answer all your questions and start making preparations.
 
Schedule an appointment with your local Catholic parish for wedding planning. I believe you have to do this six months in advance of your intended wedding date. The priest will answer all your questions and start making preparations.
Some parishes require nine months or more. Do this NOW.
 
I pray that this time of preparation for a lifetime of marriage is blessed and joyful!

Contact your local parish ASAP and get into a conversation with a parish priest. This would be an excellent time to reconsider your spiritual life and why you might be interested in making your First Communion and getting Confirmed. The love you and your fiance share is NOTHING compared to the infinite love of God for the two of you. I hope you find that love and revel in it!

God bless you both! I’ll be praying for you 👍

Gertie
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
If your boyfriend was brought up in the Catholic faith and made his First Communion, and Confirmation, then he must know that it is mortally sinful to live together with his girlfriend without benefit of the Sacrament of Marriage.

I agree with those who have advised you to go and see a priest as soon as possible. If you are sincere, then you should be learning about the Catholic faith and what is required.

May the Lord lead both of you close to Him.
 
I believe the priests are “getting tougher” on living together. Depends some on your parish. I know our priests have recently started asking and saying the couple must not live as husband and wife before marriage. I know of several people who have committed to what the priest said and have been very happy with the outcome. You may both want to think and talk about this. I’ll admit we lived together 22 years ago for 1 year before marriage, it was wrong but the lord has been kind to forgive us for our sins and we have a happy marriage and 3 great kids. Think about the big picture and long term. I think if the Priest had said don’t do that we would have obeyed.

One last comment, there is one couple we know that lived together for 6 months, decided to quit until they were married and it was great for them and year after marriage they are really a beautiful couple!

God Bless and enjoy your courtship.
 
I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic,

What do you mean by this distinction. Are you an Eastern Catholic, perchance?
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
What does “being Catholic” mean to you and your fiance?

Hopefully it doesn’t mean you want to go through the motions, by merely using the parish building for your sacrament – that’s not what being Catholic entails. I suggest the two of you meet with a priest NOW and ask him to help the two of you to take the faith seriously. Hopefully the two of you would understand that you’re living in sin, by having sex outside of marriage, and hopefully you will stop this sin.

There is but one Catholic Church, though there are different liturgical expressions or “rites.” The Latin rite, which many call the “Roman Catholic” rite, is by far the largest rite, and there are several others, such as Byzantine Catholic, Maronite Catholic, and Coptic Catholic (I think there are seven or so) – all are loyal to the Pope as Vicar of Christ. Which rite are you?

If being Catholic isn’t important to you, why bother marrying within the Church? The sacrament of Matrimony means something. You and your fiance are in my prayers.

By the way, I believe you’re referring to the sacrament of Confirmation – no such sacrament as “commencements.”
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
Stacie, first of all, welcome to the forums.

I am concerned with some of the points that you have raised. First of all, can you explain or, rather, differentiate what the statement “I am Catholic; he is Roman Catholic” means?

If you were baptized as a Latin Rite Catholic (which your fiance also is), then, you are Catholic.

Second, this is a very important sacrament. The fact that you are asking questions means that the grace that was infused within you through Baptism is starting to work. But, it needs to be further developed. This means that both of you need to talk to a priest as soon as possible.

Does your fiance go to church? If so, then start going to Mass with him. Start learning about the Faith. Many of the threads here can help, but you do need that human contact. When you talk to the priest, explain that you are in need of the sacraments of Communion, Confession and Confirmation.

Unfortunately, both of you have put the cart before the horse, so to speak, by living together. What you are doing right now is a serious sin. While society has looser morals and promotes this kind of activity, it is not this way with the Church. I do not want to sound judgmental, but, I do not want to surgarcoat the Truth. Of all of the sacraments (apart from the Eucharist), Jesus spoke most forcefully and emphatically about marriage and what it means.

In the Nuptial Rite, when the priest asks for the consent of you and your future husband, he says “Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated yourself to Him in Baptism…” Stacey, in her last interview, Diana, Princess of Wales bemoaned the fact that there were three people in her marriage during one of her final interviews. While we pretty much know where she was going with that comment, there is some truth to that. There must be three people in your marriage: you, your future husband and Christ (both He and His Church). Christ is the Church. The Church is His Body and His Bride. She is also the custodian and the imparter of the Sacraments.

That is why it is so very important for both of you to meet with the priest as soon as possible.
 
Yes, make an apointment with a priest ASAP. You will need to get your Baptismal certificate or a letter from a witness describing how it was done.

I don’t think any of us know what you mean by saying you are Catholic and he is Roman Catholic. There are no religions that go by that name as an official title of the religion. There are only some individuals who claim the title. If this is the case you are probably considered Protestant. Unless you are an Eastern Catholic or something. Be prepared to explain this to the Priest so he knows how to proceed.Your Baptismal Certificate will be a clue.

As you have probably picked up you and your fiance need to be practicing members of a parish so go do that ASAP as well. Marriage is a Sacrament to be entered into reverently not just for a pretty church or to say it was in church . Lifestyle behavior is an indicator of this practicing. Living together not attending Mass every Sunday are examples of living a Catholic lifestyle. So you want to work on those right away as well.
God is working to convert both your hearts with this wedding. Follow him.
 
Yes, make an apointment with a priest ASAP. You will need to get your Baptismal certificate or a letter from a witness describing how it was done.

I don’t think any of us know what you mean by saying you are Catholic and he is Roman Catholic. There are no religions that go by that name as an official title of the religion. There are only some individuals who claim the title. If this is the case you are probably considered Protestant. Unless you are an Eastern Catholic or something. Be prepared to explain this to the Priest so he knows how to proceed.Your Baptismal Certificate will be a clue.

As you have probably picked up you and your fiance need to be practicing members of a parish so go do that ASAP as well. Marriage is a Sacrament to be entered into reverently not just for a pretty church or to say it was in church . Lifestyle behavior is an indicator of this practicing. Living together not attending Mass every Sunday are examples of living a Catholic lifestyle. So you want to work on those right away as well.
God is working to convert both your hearts with this wedding. Follow him.
In the last paragraph I am sure you meant to say “Living together not attending Mass every Sunday are examples of NOT living a Catholic lifestyle.”

Good post.
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
If you want to get married in a Catholic church because it will make the wedding “pretty” then I have no advice for you.

If you want’ to get married in THE Catholic church because you want to live a Catholic life then. First you must move into separate addresses. Second I suggest a good confession. 3rd If you have not done so start attending Mass regularly 4th put the wedding date back so you can go through the marriage prep properly. I know at my parish this would likely be the only possible scenario.
 
In the last paragraph I am sure you meant to say “Living together not attending Mass every Sunday are examples of NOT living a Catholic lifestyle.”

Good post.
Yes, thank you. I should know better than to try to post while I’m taking TheraFlu …
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
Unfortunetly I am not very religious and therefore I do not know what the difference between Catholic and Roman Catholic is, I was on here to find out. Apparently there are a few different catholic religions that I did not know about. Im sorry if I offended anybody here with my story but Im here to get answers and Now I feel like a bad person.
 
My Fience and I recently got engaged (only a month ago). We decided to have the wedding this November, but I’m not sure if we can get married in a Catholic Church. I am Catholic he is Roman Catholic, We were both baptized but he had his communion, commencements and went to church as a child as were I did not. We have been living together for a year now also. I am not sure what needs to be done in order for us to get married in church. Do I need to have my communion or commencements or start attending church? I have no idea, and also not much time. Please help:)
Thank you
Stacie
I don’t understand the distinction between “Catholic” and “Roman Catholic” and I don’t understand commencement, but assume you mean he was confirmed, but you were not and that you have never made your first communion.

Your first step is seeing the pastor of the Catholic Church either your or your fiance attends (I guess his, if you have not been attending) and find out what are the requirements for marriage preparation, and most important, what is required for a valid, lasting, happy Christian marriage.

Only the priest can give you answers that fit your personal situation. anything said here will only be general. If you cooperate with the Church in entering into a valid sacramental marriage, with all that entails, you will be blessed with the immense graces Jesus gives with this sacrament.

One of the first things both of you need to do is call the churches where you were baptized and get new baptismal certificates, showing all sacraments received. This will clear up any confusion about your status or rite or membership.
 
Unfortunetly I am not very religious and therefore I do not know what the difference between Catholic and Roman Catholic is, I was on here to find out. Apparently there are a few different catholic religions that I did not know about. Im sorry if I offended anybody here with my story but Im here to get answers and Now I feel like a bad person.
I am sure the people are not trying to make you feel bad, they just want you to live a chaste life. Sorry on behalf of anyone else if they made you feel bad, they were just pointing one problem that can arise.

Now all Roman Catholics are Catholics. There is only one Catholic Church and the majority of Catholics are Roman Catholics, we all believe the same things and are loyal to the Pope. There are many other Catholic Churches out there in union with us who all believe the same way we just worship and live our faith a little differently. Examples, Chaldean Catholic, Maronite Catholic, etc…

If you are Catholic then you are loyal to the Pope, and profess unity to the Church Jesus started which goes back 2000 years.

In Christ
Scylla
 
Unfortunetly I am not very religious and therefore I do not know what the difference between Catholic and Roman Catholic is, I was on here to find out. Apparently there are a few different catholic religions that I did not know about. Im sorry if I offended anybody here with my story but Im here to get answers and Now I feel like a bad person.
We don’t want you to feel like a bad person; but we do want to help you to understand. The Lord loves you and wants to lead you in His ways.

Peace!
 
. . .I do not know what the difference between Catholic and Roman Catholic is, I was on here to find out . . .
Roman Catholic is the Latin Rite of the Church - basically, what “St. So-and-so Catholic Church” down is street is likely to be. “Catholic” is an adjective, meaning “universal.” There are “Eastern Rite” Catholic Churches in communion with Rome, i.e., Ukrainian Catholic, Chaldean Catholic, Ruthenian, Maronite, etc., but there are also churches calling themselves “Catholic” which have split away, i.e., Old Catholic, Independent Catholic, Polish National Catholic, etc. (I won’t mention the SSPX, as that would open a whole new can of worms).

Also, there are several Protestant churches that claim they are “catholic:” The Lutherans, Anglicans, and others (mostly older or “high church”) use the creeds which profess a belief in the “holy catholic, and apostolic church,” which they believe they are.

Basically, all Roman Catholics are “Catholic,” but not all who call themselves Catholic are really “Catholic.”

However, in common, everyday, lay usage, Catholic and Roman Catholic are synonymous.
 
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