Can I marry this woman?

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Sjg00

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So I am in love with a woman who has been divorced by a man who had been married twice making it his third marriage.
We know for a fact that the second woman’s was on her second or third marriage but not with who.
Her ex won’t reveal to us who his first wife was so we can’t find out if his first marriage was valid. I’m thinking of spending $45 dollars for one of those background searching websites. I also think I may have read something about if the validity of marriage is in question then the first marriage gets the benefit of the doubt. Can anyone confirm or deny that? Thank you any help is appreciated.
Ps she also mentioned that he knew he couldn’t have kids so I think that might affect validity
 
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They’re the ones you need to be talking to. Do you know what diocese you live in? If not, Google your local church, it should say. Then Google the name of your diocese plus the word Tribunal. The Tribunal should have a website with information on how to contact them. She’ll have to talk to them anyway to get her marriages annulled before you two are allowed to marry.
 
This would be what is called a Ligamen case, a prior bond. However, proof may be difficult without cooperation. If you cannot present a Ligamen case then you can petition for a full tribunal annulment case. There may be other factors.

The answer to the question of whether you can marry this woman is “only if and when her freedom to marry is established by the Church.” What Avenue you pursue for freedom to marry is going to depend on many factors ed. Go speak to your pastor.
 
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Sjg00 said:
Ps she also mentioned that he knew he couldn’t have kids so I think that might affect validity
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I don’t think that is how things work. Also, my mom and biological father were both told they could not have children. Together, they had four.
 
Sjg00 said:
Ps she also mentioned that he knew he couldn’t have kids so I think that might affect validity
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If he withheld that information from her before the wedding, then maybe.

Sterility isn’t in and of itself an impediment to valid marriage.
 
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Keep in mind what you will do if her past marriage is found to be valid. Decrees of nullity are not guaranteed.

On Monday contact your Diocesan Tribunal (do not be shocked if they are out of office due to COVID)
 
Speak with your diocese first and foremost. I’m still hung up on the fact that the woman you love was married to a man she lived but wasn’t privy to the fact that he was married to another woman he won’t reveal the identity of. How does she explain that?
 
First speak with your priest. He is the very first person you should be talking to about all of this. Tell him everything and he will let you know the next steps to take. Call or email the you parish office for an appointment to speak to him.

The diocese is going to tell you to talk to your priest.
 
Sometimes you can find marriage / wedding info on the internet, possibly in newspaper stories.
Or you could try calling the county where they were married. Try googling with quotation marks “Joseph Schmoe”.
 
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Horton said:
The diocese is going to tell you to talk to your priest.
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In some Dioceses. In other Dioceses, such as mine. a handful of years ago the Bishop required the priests to stop acting as advocates in the Tribunal processes. The idea is that the priests are very busy and advocates need to have the bandwidth to handle multiple cases at once.

It is working very well this way, the pastor is not pulled into taking sides as an advocate.
 
An advocate by definition is taking the side of the person they advocate for.

Just because they do things a certain way in your diocese in no way means it is done that way all over. In most places, one would start at their parish level by speaking to their priest who may or may not be their advocate.
 
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