Can I preside over a renewal of marriage vows?

[Jim_Lawrence]

My son and Daughter-in-law, after a separation, are planning to renew their marriage vows and have asked if I would do the honors. Since this is not a legally binding ceremony or a sacrament is there any reason I should not preside over this?

 

[Fr.Charles_Grondin]

In the Catholic Church there is no official renewal of marriage vows. Since the vows of marriage are in fact the essence of the sacrament of marriage they can’t really be “renewed.” The vows, once validly exchanged, are binding till death.

However, the Church does recognize that there is a celebratory value in “renewing” vows on particular occasions and does not forbid it.

The situation you describe has the potential to be a bit problematic. Since there was a previous separation there is a danger that this renewal of vows could be perceived as a new set of vows and you as the receiver of new vows. If that is the case then you should perhaps politely explain that while you are honored to be asked you don’t feel comfortable acting as a sort of presider for a new set of vows.

It is also entirely possible that the couple perfectly understands this and simply has the intention of celebrating the vows of their actual wedding day. In such a situation you would be perfectly fine acting as a kind of MC for this renewal of vows. As you stated, this is not a sacrament nor an official liturgy of the Church so there is some leeway in how it is celebrated. As long as there’s not a reasonable danger of this celebration being seen as a new exchange and you as a sort of minister of new vows then you can play a leading role in the celebration.

An interesting formula I’ve found online:

The jubilarians join their right hands and repeat after the presider, the man first:

"I, N.N., reaffirm my marriage vow of (number) years ago, and rededicate myself in the same spirit that I once took you, N.N., for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

"The woman next repeats the same formula…