Can I send a Xmas card to a couple living in sin?

[Asinner_Pray4me]

I have a brother who is living with a married lady and her husband’s child. She is legally divorced and the new arrangement has been ratified with a state ceremony. I was the only sibling who didn’t attend this function. They are expecting a baby of their own now in January and I have heard she is appealing for her petition for annullment to be re-considered. I want to send them a Christmas card as I love them both but I want to avoid any scandal. I need some advice on what is the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ll continue to pray.

 

[Katie1723]

I would send them a card. If it were his birthday, would you not send him one?
Kathy

 

[thechrismyster]

I have a brother who is living with a married lady and her husband’s child. She is legally divorced and the new arrangement has been ratified with a state ceremony. I was the only sibling who didn’t attend this function. They are expecting a baby of their own now in January and I have heard she is appealing for her petition for annullment to be re-considered. I want to send them a Christmas card as I love them both but I want to avoid any scandal. I need some advice on what is the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ll continue to pray.

if that was the case, don’t write Christmas cards to anyone. we’re all sinners.
all your doing is writing a wish of a happy and holy Christmas season to them. why would you think that is scandal?

 

[vince2paul]

if that was the case, don’t write Christmas cards to anyone. we’re all sinners.
all your doing is writing a wish of a happy and holy Christmas season to them. why would you think that is scandal?

Just send it.

 

[puzzleannie]

the only reason not to would be if you screen your entire card list according to your knowledge or suppositions about the moral lives of the recipients. this is not very practical, nor is it even possible. so send the card, how would it be a scandal. They are the only ones who will see it. They already know your beliefs, and it even sounds as if they are doing their best, by their lights to rectify their situation, and even it fhey were not, we don’t cut our relatives off because we don’t like they way they live. If we did that, many of us would have no contact with our families at all–or they would cut us off for our conduct! we don’t limit our best wishes and remembrance of our loved ones to the Christ Child and the Holy family to those who are already saints. It that were the case, we would only be sending cards to dead people.

 

[Asinner_Pray4me]

I’m sorry, I seemed to have confused everyone with this one. I want and intend to send them a card. It’s what I write on the envelope and inside the card that could be a scandal. It’s a custom in my country to put Christmas cards on display so that visitors can read them as well. I pray that this makes more sense.

At any rate, I’m thinking of just using the 3 Christian names on the envelope along with the address and just writing a short blessing on the card. Any better ideas?

 

[Sam88]

Perhaps some confusion is due to cultural differences, but it is hard for me to imagine anyone being scandalized by the sending of such a card. (We have so many other things to be scandalized about.)

As long as your note does not express your joy in and approval of their civil marriage, but rather expresses your love for them as persons, then I cannot see a problem.

I can understand if you want to refrain from addressing the message as Mr. and Mrs. or some equivalent. If you like you could even send two different cards, one addressed to the lady and her son, and another addressed to your brother.

Continue to pray about this for a day, then go do what seems best

 

[puzzleannie]

even if the card is on display, the envelope will not be, so why is it a problem how you address the envelope, as long as the postal service can read it?

 

[porriwiggle]

Many Cristmas cards are sent to “All At …” which can include the whole family without the possibility of giving offence by sending a card to each of them, but your idea of just putting their Christain names on it would have the same effect, and a blessing inside is perfect.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

What do you want them to write in your Christmas Card?

How about addressing the the card to “The Joe Smith Family” and writing how you hope their family has a wonderful Christmas & New Year? They are a family and they are your family. Only if you encouraged non christain living is there a problem. To not write but tell them you hope the annullment is successful, and you will help if you can( and mean it)

 

[Asinner_Pray4me]

Many Cristmas cards are sent to “All At …” which can include the whole family without the possibility of giving offence by sending a card to each of them, but your idea of just putting their Christain names on it would have the same effect, and a blessing inside is perfect.

“All at…” is the answer to my prayers. Thank you Porriwiggle. A Happy and Holy Christmas to you and to everyone else with their kind thoughts. I will pray for you all tonight.

God Bless

 

[Eileen_T]

“May the Peace and Joy of Cristmas be yours through the coming year. You are both in my prayers.”

You don’t need to say that you are praying that they will put God first, renounce sin and seek only to do what is His Will.

 

[tequilamac]

I have a brother who is living with a married lady and her husband’s child. She is legally divorced and the new arrangement has been ratified with a state ceremony. I was the only sibling who didn’t attend this function. They are expecting a baby of their own now in January and I have heard she is appealing for her petition for annullment to be re-considered. I want to send them a Christmas card as I love them both but I want to avoid any scandal. I need some advice on what is the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ll continue to pray.

What an incredibly loving thing to do. And while you are at it, why not offer them a Novena at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception? Or light a candle for them. Then she knows she is included the prayers of the faithful in the Church.

 

[CRW]

I have a brother who is living with a married lady and her husband’s child. She is legally divorced and the new arrangement has been ratified with a state ceremony. I was the only sibling who didn’t attend this function. They are expecting a baby of their own now in January and I have heard she is appealing for her petition for annullment to be re-considered. I want to send them a Christmas card as I love them both but I want to avoid any scandal. I need some advice on what is the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ll continue to pray.

Send them the card and invite them to attend Mass with you. Share the love of Christmas with them. Who knows what graces will flow from Christ on them and their family.

 

[porriwiggle]

“All at…” is the answer to my prayers. Thank you Porriwiggle. A Happy and Holy Christmas to you and to everyone else with their kind thoughts. I will pray for you all tonight.

God Bless

You’re welcome. God bless you and all your family.

 

[rosarywarrior]

I noticed in the title of this thread you have Xmas…I know people sometimes use it to shorten Christmas but I was told that the X was to take Christ out deliberately by atheist. I am not postitive about this but just wanted to let you know it is best if we actually spell out Christmas…sign me as one who was informed and just passing it around…

 

[ora_pro_nobis]

The X is a symbol for Christ and has been around as a shortener for centuries - it’s not an “X” it’s the Greek letter “Chi”. I’ve seen it in very old church registers as a shortener in names like Xtopher and Xtian. I do prefer to see Christmas spelt out in full though.

 

[StCsDavid]

Would Christ have sent a Christmas card to the woman at the well? How about the woman who was about to be stoned for adultery? Remember, you may be the only exposure to the Gospel this couple has at this point in their faith journey.

Send the card. Wish them Merry Christmas.