Can I wear a chastity rings after assault?

[LittleRose]

katie mack:

This is the only intimate encounter I have had before or since, as I was/still am saving myself for marriage…

…but is it appropriate for me to wear such a thing since I’m no longer pure?

Katie

You live a chaste life, and it is therefore perfectly appropriate for you to wear a chastity ring.

 

[Timidity]

What? I’m digging up a post from June to comment about it?

Yes. I wanted to make this comment back then, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But my silence has continued to bother me, so…
Karl Keating:

I understand why some would want to comfort her by saying that she really is still a virgin, but she will see through that and won’t be satisfied with it.

You’re wrong about this. At least in general.

Along with hanging out here, I hang out in a forum for survivors of abuse and incest. There is thread there on the very subject of viewing virginity as more of a spiritual quality than a physical quality, and the survivors there seem to take a great deal of comfort in it.

 

[deaconswife]

Timidity:

What? I’m digging up a post from June to comment about it?

Yes. I wanted to make this comment back then, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But my silence has continued to bother me, so…

You’re wrong about this. At least in general.

Along with hanging out here, I hang out in a forum for survivors of abuse and incest. There is thread there on the very subject of viewing virginity as more of a spiritual quality than a physical quality, and the survivors there seem to take a great deal of comfort in it.

I agree whole heartedly with what you say timidity. I am a rape survivor myself and despite any physical change in my body from the rape; I considered myself a virgin the day I married my husband.

 

[mercygate]

I might add that even a person who has in the past been voluntarily unchaste, but who has turned a page in his book and chosen to live chastely henceforward, should also consider it perfectly appropriate to wear such a ring – as a symbol and reminder of his new commitment to chastity. It is more a sign of where you’re going than of where you have been.

 

[TarAshly]

Poisson:

I think we ought to try and ban Karl from posting. He’s a thread killer. I mean now how can we possibly add anything meaningfull to this, he says it all. :yup:

i think hes being cold and unnecesarily cruel. how can he know what rape takes from a woman, and then to say something that harsh? i am amazed at his calousness.:nope:

 

[Pinklady]

There’s more to chastity than whether or not you’re a virgin.

You were RAPED – sexually assaulted against your will. You did nothing wrong. God doesn’t hold you responsible for what someone else did to you.

Of course wear your ring. Your value as a human being isn’t wrapped up solely in your sexual status.

 

[DominvsVobiscvm]

There’s a type of religious life in the Church known as “consecrated virginity.” Women can actually live in the world, single, and take a vow of virginity before their bishop. They’re not nuns, but are “consecrated virgins.”

I happen to know that only virings, women who have never had sex, can be so ocnsecrated in this manner. And I also know that the Church makes an exception in the case of rape. A rape-victim can become a consecrated virgin.

Although a raped woman is not a virgin physically, spiritually she is considered a virgin by the Church.

 

[Faustina]

Boadicea:

While you are no longer physically a virgin, you were also not given a choice about this fact. I see nothing wrong with your wearing chastity rings.

"I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but is it appropriate for me to wear such a thing since I’m no longer pure? "

I would also like to back up Maggie in saying that you really should see a counselor, preferably a Catholic one. I hope that one day you will see that you are pure in your heart and have chosen to be pure in body as well.

You seem to be assuming that she hasn’t seen a counselor. This happened when she was sixteen, which could have just been last year. But I think just asking would be a better way than assuming she hasn’t and suggesting she does see a counselor.
Not trying to nitpik, just trying to put things in perspective

 

[DominvsVobiscvm]

Anyone but me find it weird that the person who posted this thread has since been banned?

 

[fruitloops_10]

DominvsVobiscvm:

Anyone but me find it weird that the person who posted this thread has since been banned?

I found it weird too,
plus a question… what is a chasisty ring/ is it like a purity ring??

THanks.

 

[DominvsVobiscvm]

Bump

 

[elts1956]

I was raised in the Catholic Church. When I was sixteen, I was raped by a high school classmate. This is the only intimate encounter I have had before or since, as I was/still am saving myself for marriage. I spent several years after that away from the Church but have since returned to attentind mass and other activities.

A friend gave me a chastity/purity ring for my last birthday. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but is it appropriate for me to wear such a thing since I’m no longer pure?

Katie

Because you were raped and no longer a virgin doesn’t mean you aren’t chaste. Wear the ring.

 

[Julian_Peters]

Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.