Can married individuals experience a call?

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stteresasgirl

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Just a little question out there…Just over a year ago I experienced a tremendous experience of consolation…my first! “In love” with God, His Son, the Church…the whole works. Though I grew up Catholic, I was such a “doubting Thomas” and was cynical to anyone that I recognized as a “holy roller”. So I laugh now at my own ignorance as to how God has worked with me. Yet, I am very humbled and grateful to Him and His ways.

My problem is that this all came at a time where there is no way that I could ever be a religious…I am a wife and mother. However, I feel like I am being drawn to something so great and I want to please God and show Him all my love. I want to give my life to Him! Whenever I see clergy or religious, I feel a great sadness that I will never be able to give myself entirely to God and His Church in that way. If this would have happened 15 years ago or so, I know I would have attempted religious life. Please, know that I love my family and I try to share God’s love with them in every way that I know how. They are my gift from God and I love them.

So, where does someone like me belong?:confused: I feel drawn to those who have devoted their lives to God (clergy and religious), but I find so few lay people who are “speaking my same language”.
 
stteresasgirl said:
Just a little question out there…Just over a year ago I experienced a tremendous experience of consolation…my first! “In love” with God, His Son, the Church…the whole works. Though I grew up Catholic, I was such a “doubting Thomas” and was cynical to anyone that I recognized as a “holy roller”. So I laugh now at my own ignorance as to how God has worked with me. Yet, I am very humbled and grateful to Him and His ways.

My problem is that this all came at a time where there is no way that I could ever be a religious…I am a wife and mother. However, I feel like I am being drawn to something so great and I want to please God and show Him all my love. I want to give my life to Him! Whenever I see clergy or religious, I feel a great sadness that I will never be able to give myself entirely to God and His Church in that way. If this would have happened 15 years ago or so, I know I would have attempted religious life. Please, know that I love my family and I try to share God’s love with them in every way that I know how. They are my gift from God and I love them.

So, where does someone like me belong?:confused: I feel drawn to those who have devoted their lives to God (clergy and religious), but I find so few lay people who are “speaking my same language”.
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I think you really should think about becoming part of a secular or lay religious order. This way, you could serve God as much as you can while still being married and a mother. Have you ever read about the different spiritualities within the Church–i.e.-Carmelite, Franciscan, Benedictine, Dominican, etc??

If not, these books would be what you are looking for; the first is a one-volume consideration of the various spiritualities represented in the Orders of the Church. The second is a two-volume series that does the same, but more extensively.

amazon.com/Christian-Spir…/dp/089870068X

e316.com/Compendium-Spiri…0818907258.htm

Once you figure out which one you are most called to, I would recommend that you make a visit to an order that holds that spirituality–like a convent or monastery–to get a taste of it in the real life, and then make your decision. Once you do, I and the others here can help you find a secular order for you to look into. 🙂

I am so happy for you! It warms my heart to know that you are searching for God in your life and that you want to serve Him more than you do now. Perhaps while you are discerning, you could look into becoming a youth minister, liturgical reader, EMHC, or joining any of the ministries in your local Church. Getting involved really helps you make an informed decision and helps you satisfy that desire to serve. Also, I recommend a spiritual director in the form of a priest, brother, sister, or qualified lay person that can help you make this decision. Don’t forget to include your family. Your husband needs to know your feelings. 😃

God bless you, stteresasgirl! Btw, if you are talking about St. Teresa of Avila or St. Teresa of the Andes in your user id, I think you should look further into the Carmelites! (Sorry, I’m partial to Carmel because that’s my calling. :D)
 
I actually looked at your profile and noticed that you are indeed drawn to Carmel. Would you like me to see if there are any Secular Discalced Carmelite Orders (OCDS) around your area? I would be happy to help! Just let me know! 👍
 
There are many different types of calls and different ways of serving God’s Church. I would say that I find it incomprehensible to think that God would call a wife/husband/parent away from spouse and children unless it could be done while fulfilling the responsibilities to family. St. Elizabeth (Ann) Seton is a perfect example of this. Therefore, I would suggest finding a good spiritual adviser and confessor with whom you can discuss this.

Good luck and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
theMutant said:
There are many different types of calls and different ways of serving God’s Church. I would say that I find it incomprehensible to think that God would call a wife/husband/parent away from spouse and children unless it could be done while fulfilling the responsibilities to family. St. Elizabeth (Ann) Seton is a perfect example of this. Therefore, I would suggest finding a good spiritual adviser and confessor with whom you can discuss this.

Good luck and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
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Remember the apostles? St. Peter was a husband and father when he became the first Pope in the history of the Church. I’m not saying that others will be called like this, but it’s not impossible.

My wondering is that maybe stteresasgirl had a call earlier on to religious life that she didn’t answer, and didn’t know about and that it’s resurfaced. Maybe that was your call earlier in life. I doubt God would call you away from Sacramental marriage and your family though. He gives us the graces necessary in our state of life, whether it is our true vocation or not. I hope that you can find a way to fulfill that without having too much turmoil. [SIGN]God bless![/SIGN]
 
Marriage IS her true vocation in life. It is not a question of ignoring an earlier calling.

A man whom God permits to be ordained does in fact have,a vocation to the priesthood.

A woman whom God permits to make solemn profession does in fact have a vocation to religious life.

Likewise, people whom God permits to be married, do in fact have a vocation to married life.

“Final vows” are the objective confirmation of a vocation.

Of course, the OP may have a religious vocation as well. There are third orders … and many widows have become religious.
 
Lilllabettt said:
Marriage IS her true vocation in life. It is not a question of ignoring an earlier calling.

A man whom God permits to be ordained does in fact have,a vocation to the priesthood.

A woman whom God permits to make solemn profession does in fact have a vocation to religious life.

Likewise, people whom God permits to be married, do in fact have a vocation to married life.

“Final vows” are the objective confirmation of a vocation.

Of course, the OP may have a religious vocation as well. There are third orders … and many widows have become religious.
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What about free will that God gave us? He allows us to choose our path, even if that means doing opposite of what He wants us to do.
 
Thank you everyone for your helpfulness. I recognize that God works through our fellow brothers and sisters and I am very grateful. One thing that I must add is that I am very drawn to Carmel. CarmeliteGirl25 - my username is in reference to St.Teresa of Avila. Though, St. Therese of Lisieux is who I took my confirmation name after. I will make a statement that I hope that some of you would agree with…you don’t go looking for the saints, they come looking for you! :yup:

As for a call from the past…hmmmm. I have always felt close to God and Our Lady - even as a young girl. I remember that around age 12 that I reflected on the idea of becoming a nun. In college, I enjoyed my theology electives so much that I almost switched majors! However, I chose to enter nursing thinking that I could do God’s work in a field that was in high demand. Don’t get me wrong though, I was so influenced by the world during these times! Oh, and how many falls and failures! I now know that God’s mercy is so great by His choosing to even glance toward my direction! However, I am delighted by any “crumb” He may through my way!

Whatever our Lord has in store, I will accept. My confidence in Him is sometimes lacking especially when I feel so isolated in my thoughts and affections. Along with being a mother, I am a catechist for 3-4th graders at my parish. Perhaps I can help direct someone toward religious life one day.

Thank you for your prayers. Peace in Christ.
stteresasgirl:signofcross:
 
stteresasgirl said:
I will make a statement that I hope that some of you would agree with…you don’t go looking for the saints, they come looking for you! :yup:
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I will DEFINITELY agree with you on that! :clapping: :yup: St. Therese of Lisieux sought me out through the recent movie on her life. That’s how I discovered Carmel. 😃
 
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