Can Money Buy Happiness?

[stinkcat_14]

Careful, no one like to be told what they should or shouldn’t do. Usually, they do what they do because they choose to. After 17 years of scrimping, maybe she’s trying to increase the nest egg; or, it could be as simple as she likes what she’s doing. If so, that’s a gift in its own right. We all need to pursue our dreams. In a marriage it shouldn’t be a zero-sum proposition and each spouse should have the freedom to pursue what they feel is important.

True, people don’t like to be told what to do, but a married couple should be able to discuss things and be able to listen to the other person’s perspective. We have scrimpted for a long time, but mostly because we choose to, not because we have to. We are good savers, and we are great at finding bargains, we have real gifts in this area. So the nest egg is quite well established, and when I ask her how much is enough, she will never give me an answer. The other thing is that she doesn’t like what she is doing, she complains about it all the time, but when I say she should consider doing other things, she says that she can’t give up the money. In reality, she works because it distracts her. She cannot handle quiet time, and if she had to be quiet and face herself for a day, she would go crazy.

 

[stinkcat_14]

My prayers are with you stinkcat_14 (I’m glad God is omniscient, because otherwise I would feel pretty silly praying for “stinkcat” ). I’m not going through a difficult time in my marriage, but my wife and I have the normal tension most couples do about how to spend/save money. It is always a source of concern. We’ve been through times of plenty and the brink of poverty - stress and happiness were present during both times.

One of the things I struggle with in future planning is how much is “too much?” How much is “enough?” Is it a sin to desire enough money in retirement to travel? How about have a second home (somewhere sunny is my wife’s preference)? I am considering the permanent diaconate, with the support of my wife, but what does that mean when it comes to retirement? Personally, I would be okay living on a meager amount of money once my home is paid off - enough to pay the utilities, food, medical care/insurance and transportation…and taxes, of course…, but my wife isn’t in the same place as I am when it comes to these things.

Thank you for your prayers. It is a struggle to to discern how much is enough and how much is too much. I guess if are at the point where this is an issue, we probably should begin with a prayer of thanksgiving, because there are many for whom this will never be an issue. None of the things you mentioned would be objectively sinful, but of course you would have to prayerfully discern what is right for your life.

Let me give you something I have found helpful in discerning what I should do with my money when it comes to spending, it is from Centesimus Annus, by Pope John Paul II, paragraph 41:

The historical experience of the West, for its part, shows that even if the Marxist analysis and its foundation of alienation are false, nevertheless alienation — and the loss of the authentic meaning of life — is a reality in Western societies too. This happens in consumerism, when people are ensnared in a web of false and superficial gratifications rather than being helped to experience their personhood in an authentic and concrete way.

I just think the bold part is something to think about when thinking about what I should spend my money on. I ask myself, is this helping me to express the person who God made me to be?

 

[homeloan]

True, people don’t like to be told what to do, but a married couple should be able to discuss things and be able to listen to the other person’s perspective. We have scrimpted for a long time, but mostly because we choose to, not because we have to. We are good savers, and we are great at finding bargains, we have real gifts in this area. So the nest egg is quite well established, and when I ask her how much is enough, she will never give me an answer. The other thing is that she doesn’t like what she is doing, she complains about it all the time, but when I say she should consider doing other things, she says that she can’t give up the money. In reality, she works because it distracts her. She cannot handle quiet time, and if she had to be quiet and face herself for a day, she would go crazy.

If it were me, and I was encountering with my spouse what it seems you are with yours, here’s what I would do:

Re-court her like crazy. Do silly things that are fun; lots of candles, wine, champagne, tickets to a chick-flick, go dancing, gift-certificate to spa, set her up with a physical trainer, cosmetic surgery, keep her busy, keep her going, make her feel good about who she is…

Will that work? God only knows… Pray; maybe He’ll give you an answer. If He does, if you don’t mind, please ask Him why He created such a violent world…

Good Luck, Stinkcat: P.S. Change your nickname to something a little more fetching; how about: Suave-Cat, or Svelt-Cat (if its fitting, if not, you hire the physical trainer for yourself!).

 

[JRKH]

I suppose the idealistic answer to this question is “No”.

But in my opinion the answer depends on your situation at a moment. Money can buy happiness up until a point where all basic needs of a person is fulfilled (e.g. food, house, health, safety, etc.). Beyond that money can buy unhappiness (e.g. wretched family life of many celebrities) because money provides means to fulfill every negative desires in our life. Desires never ends, after basics are fulfilled others rushing into our mind, both positives and negatives.

Of course the point mentioned above is relative among different persons, and also is relatively difficult to be found. To find it needs honesty about oneself.

How about you?

Money is used to by commodoties, services etc. Happiness is neither. Therefore money cannot buy happiness.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Sorry to hear about your struggles, and I really don’t wish to be wealthy. As long as I am able to cover the bills and my wife is able to home school our children I will consider my situation good. I just wish we could save a little more and not be so paycheck-to-paycheck.

It seems like as soon as we start to get a little ahead something sets us back. However, I understand that’s just one way God keeps us humble and close to Him.

Remember the Lord’s prayer: …Give us this day our daily bread…
Trust in Him.
You have your family, they are happy and healthy…

Peace
James

 

[rinnie]

Not according to God.

 

[sawman]

Take it from someone who has danced with Lady Poverty all my life.She just won’t let me go! Money won’t buy happiness,but as George said to Clarence"It sure comes in handy down here Bub!"God knows I wouldn’t be worth a damn,pun intended,if I had too much money.

 

[Peeb]

Money is used to by commodoties, services etc. Happiness is neither. Therefore money cannot buy happiness.

Peace
James

:bowdown2:

 

[rinnie]

You know when you are young you are going to set the world on fire. Everything is money, cars, vacations. etc. ANd thats okay as long as you work hard and dont cheat anyone thats a good thing. If you read the bible it tells you really though, GOd wants you to work hard, and save, for when you get old. But he also wants you to enjoy life too. Get a balance. Money isnt a bad thing its what people do to get it, or do with it that is bad. Same as the good people can do with it. But if you work hard and are honest, you should get paid well. Everyone should but its when people cheat and lie, thats when it wont bring them any luck. But if it was left to you, or meant for you and GOd wanted you to have it thats one thing, and yes it can bring you alot of happiness, and alot of other people too. BUt when it becomes your God and you become greedy, and use it to overpower people and think you dont need God anymore, then your in trouble. But to learn this it takes alot of time and living.

 

[mslizzie]

Nope, money cannot buy happiness. Years ago, I had lots of money, but that did not make me happy.

I felt empty.

Finding the Lord recently was the one thing that made me complete and at peace.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

I’ll second that motion, Lizzie…during my 15 year marriage (annulled) we had much money and wanted for nothing and had far more than was needful…and I was totally miserable. I told my then husband that I would not touch any of the money at all if he would financially care for our two children.

I dont think though that money necessarily brings unhappiness.
The one thing that money can do is increase available options and this is I think is a very real responsibility and accountability if one actually does have much money…to use it and the options it brings with wisdom and concern for the common good…to use it with good stewardship of God’s gift.

I am now considered below the poverty line and am in the happiest and, incidentally, most fulfilling period of my life though not without problems, and I am confident that the very limited options I do have are willed by God - and is there anything more?

Blessings this Easter Tridium…Barb

 

[Morwenna]

Consider this:

Imagine you’re born into a super-rich family. All your life you’re going to wonder (at least I would) whether your ‘friends’ really like you for yourself, or whether they only like your money and/or connections and/or ‘prestige.’

When it came time to search for a spouse, how terrible it would be to wonder if they were marrying you for YOURSELF, or just wanted access to your money, etc.

God has blessed me with a roof over my head and the necessities of life. I may not have a lot of luxuries or extra spending money, but I know that the people who love me really love ME, and not my money or my ‘connections’ … since I have none to speak of

Just another point to ponder

 

[rinnie]

Nope, money cannot buy happiness. Years ago, I had lots of money, but that did not make me happy.

I felt empty.

Finding the Lord recently was the one thing that made me complete and at peace.

Yes but mslizzie can you honestly say that if you Had the Lord in your life then, that you couldnt have been just as happy. Money cant buy happiness but i dont think it can take it away either. What people dont realize is that you will never find total happiness in this world. You will not get total happiness until you reunite with Christ face to face. I just think people think if they were rich they wouldnt have any problems. But rich or poor we will have problems. THats our way of suffering with Christ.

 

[stinkcat_14]

Yes but mslizzie can you honestly say that if you Had the Lord in your life then, that you couldnt have been just as happy. Money cant buy happiness but i dont think it can take it away either. What people dont realize is that you will never find total happiness in this world. You will not get total happiness until you reunite with Christ face to face. I just think people think if they were rich they wouldnt have any problems. But rich or poor we will have problems. THats our way of suffering with Christ.

I do think for some people, money can take away happiness. Would Saint Francis of Assisi been as happy if he had accepted and kept his father’s money? What about the rich young man whom Jesus told to give away all of his money?

While money certainly has benefits, it also has costs as well.

 

[rinnie]

I do think for some people, money can take away happiness. Would Saint Francis of Assisi been as happy if he had accepted and kept his father’s money? What about the rich young man whom Jesus told to give away all of his money?

While money certainly has benefits, it also has costs as well.

I guess yeah you got me there, But then again we are talking about Saints, and as far as the rich man i guess we will never know he couldnt let go of it. But i cant lie if someone just said to me go ahead and quit work, ill pay off all your bills and get together all of your friends and family and have a nice vacation, on me. I would be pretty happy right now. But i know money cant buy happiness nothing. can Happiness is a state of mind. ITs up to you if you are rich or poor its from within that makes you happy. But short term yes money could make me happy .