Can my daughter be put on birth control in this circumstance?

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My 16 year old daughter approached me the other day and asked to be put on birth control. She tells me she doesn’t plan on having sex but that she likes the idea of having no period and no monthly ups and downs. Her sister is on the Depo Provera shot, which is an injection she gets once every 3 months. The only reason I allowed this is because she was bleeding so excessively and after a trip to the ER the doctor suggested it as a way of controlling the bleeding.

The Depo shot apparently tricks your body into thinking it’s already pregnant so no egg is produced. This got me thinking, dangerous I know! that if birth control is wrong because we are to be open to human life, would it be wrong at her age when she shouldn’t be open to it anyway? Is this type of birth control okay since the type of birth control she wants to be put on is not killing human life it’s just not allowing human life, which shouldn’t be allowed until your married anyway?
 
There are exceptions for birth control use when it comes to health issues, but if nothing is wrong with your 16 year old, then why bother? I don’t mean to sound cruel, but it’s the facts of life, every woman has to deal with it! Do you realize what is at stake for her health if you put her on the pill? Her chances for blood clots, breast and cervical cancer increase, as well as a host of other health problems! Save yourself the time and money. A pill won’t teach your daughter to deal with the ups and downs. She has to learn that on her own. :o
 
Scooby, the church allows for use of the pill, etc for various medical conditions if the woman is celebate.

I would caution you about your 16 yr. old. She may find menses “inconvenient” now, but after she marries, will she sudddenly want to be “convienienced”? Or will she be conditioned to be taking the pill? It is a short step from the discomforts of “normal” menstration, and the bothers of pregnancy. I would definetly not allow this for anything less than the MOST serious reasons.

(However, my gut instincts tells me that your daughter is pulling the wool over your eyes, and she wants the pill for other reasons. I hope I am wrong.)
 
There is nothing morally wrong with using the birth control pill/shots for medical reasons.

However, you may want to find a doctor who is willing to do more than just mask the symptoms for either of your daughters.

It is far better to find out why things are abnormal and try to treat the cause. It could save them a lot of problems in the future if and when they are planning to start a family.

Malia

p.s. I used the same line on my mom at 16…
 
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Scooby:
My 16 year old daughter approached me the other day and asked to be put on birth control. She tells me she doesn’t plan on having sex but that she likes the idea of having no period and no monthly ups and downs. Her sister is on the Depo Provera shot, which is an injection she gets once every 3 months. The only reason I allowed this is because she was bleeding so excessively and after a trip to the ER the doctor suggested it as a way of controlling the bleeding.

The Depo shot apparently tricks your body into thinking it’s already pregnant so no egg is produced. This got me thinking, dangerous I know! that if birth control is wrong because we are to be open to human life, would it be wrong at her age when she shouldn’t be open to it anyway? Is this type of birth control okay since the type of birth control she wants to be put on is not killing human life it’s just not allowing human life, which shouldn’t be allowed until your married anyway?
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A couple of items here:
  1. Use of such drugs for legitimate medical reasons is not forbidden.
  2. I would be far more interested in the underlying cause of excessively heavy bleeding than I would be in masking symptoms of what could be an underlying problem.
  3. Even supposing your daughter is not having sex, the links between the use of such drugs and breast cancer are shown to be stronger each year that goes by.
  4. Even when one stops taking such drugs, a return to fertility can be difficult. It would be awful if your daughter wanted to become pregnant some years from now and had difficulty conceiving – and such difficulty is a very real possibility.
The Couple to Couple League, in addition to providing guidance and assistance on matters of Natural Family Planning, can also provide guidance of other, healthier ways of controlling heavy bleeding. You might want to check them out.

Respectfully submitted (from a father of 4 daughters)
 
Wow! Thanks for the advice, and so fast too. That was my first post in a forum besides one I sent to “Ask an Apologist”.

I know it would be very convenient for her and I won’t allow it. Especially based on convenience. In fact I wouldn’t allow it unless it was very medically necessary. Unfortunately I’m the step-mother and I know her biological mother may provide it to her anyway. It’s very hard having a mixed family when they know they have another option if I say no.
 
It hasn’t been THAT long since I was 16. . .And I KNOW from very close friends that the “I need to be on the Pill for my periods” is a widely used excuse! Even if she has no current alternative reasons (boyfriends, etc.) for being on the Pill other than her uncomfortable or inconvenient periods, if you allow her get on the Pill, you have removed one of the biggest reasons MOST teenage girls remain virgins. For all our good moral foundations and good communications with our parents (both of which I had), one of the biggest reasons I remained a virgin until I was married was because I was scared out of my mind that I could get pregnant! Please don’t be the fool that so many of my friends’ parents were!

Please do not allow your 16 year old daughter to begin the Pill, even for “theraputic” reasons. My husband is a Pediatrician and my sister is a Pediatric RN. . .both recognize that in VERY FEW cases hormonal therapy (such as found in the Pill) is useful for treating certain menstral/ovulatory conditions. HOWEVER, both also have observed that teenagers who are put on the Pill for “normal” period related ailments and complaints are also sexually active. FYI. If fact, you would want to be very careful and sure that your daughters had SERIOUS reasons for taking the Pill or having a Depo shot due to the equally serious risks in taking a hormonal regimine at such a young age (increased risk for cancers, infertility, etc.).

I am sure that you are a good mother, who only wants to do what is best for your child! I would strongly encourage you to seek other methods for helping your daughters deal with their conditions. There is good pain management now for painful periods. And diet and exercise are very effective ways to deal with many menstral problems.
 
The mother may allow it, but you can do something…, teach your step daughter about chastity and church teaching!

I would reccomend hooking up with the Pope Paul XI Institute to help your other daught/stepdaughter. Depoprovera is not a good permenant solution. They specialize in problems like these.

(And if she gets the pill, tell her you will not allow it in your house.;))
 
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Scooby:
Unfortunately I’m the step-mother and I know her biological mother may provide it to her anyway. It’s very hard having a mixed family when they know they have another option if I say no.
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Is she living with you and her father or her bio mom?

What does dad think of this?

It is my personal opinion that your husband should be handling this and that step parents should not be the ones to make decisions for or discipline step children.

malia
 
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Scooby:
She tells me she doesn’t plan on having sex but that she likes the idea of having no period and no monthly ups and downs.
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Sorry, but that’s just a superficial reason.

That’s not a “health issue”: not by a long shot.

So the answer is: she may not.
 
The problem here that I see is a matter of health problems. If you take a look at the Pope Paul VI Institute (popepaulvi.com/) and CMA (Catholic Medical Association) documentation you will see that for the instances you describe there may not be a moral probelm with the use of chemical contraceptives there is a medical problem especially with the use of Depro. Chemical contraceptives are linked to an exponential increase in the possibility of getting breast cancer, cervical cancer, birth defects and infertility. The earlier that a women starts taking these hormone drugs the worse off she will be in health as time progresses. I would suggest contacting the Pope Paul VI Institute to see what better options are avaliable so that the health of these young women can be preserved.
 
I would defintely spend some time on this site:

There are health risks:

Federal Report on Carcinogens and the Abortion-Breast Cancer Link

An official list of “known human carcinogens” released by the Department of Health and Human Services in December 2002 includes steroidal estrogens for the first time. The Report on Carcinogens states that steroidal estrogens are used in estrogen replacement therapy (ERT) and common abortifacient drugs. Both kinds of drugs have been widely utilized by American women. The federal report is available on the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences website. [1]

While certain pharmaceuticals might provide limited medical benefits, women must balance these considerations against the fact that breast cancer is the second greatest cause of cancer among American women.

Clearly, the Report on Carcinogens presents a serious conflict for the National Cancer Institute (NCI), an agency of the Department of Health and Human Services. In February, a panel of grant-dependent scientists chosen by the NCI swept under the rug staggering biological and epidemiological evidence supporting a causal relationship between abortion and breast cancer which has been amassed over the last 46 years.

What do ERT and abortifacient drugs have to do with the abortion-breast cancer (ABC) link? Estrogen overexposure provides the biological explanation for most of the risk factors for breast cancer, including abortion. Estrogen is known to increase the rate of cell division. It causes normal and pre-cancerous cells to multiply. A few days after conception, estrogen levels start climbing, so that by the end of the first trimester, a mother’s estrogen level is increased 2000% and her breasts are swollen. Scientists theorize that only a third trimester process, differentiation (maturation of cells), neutralizes the mother’s exposure to estrogen and provides her with increased protection against breast cancer.

more…
 
My protestant cousin went on the Pill 6 months before she got married. Though a vigorous 20 year old athlete, she gained 15 pounds and had to have her wedding dress enlarged!

I’m told this is quite common and mentioned as a side effect in the literature.

This ought to speak to a 16 year old!
 
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Siena:
(However, my gut instincts tells me that your daughter is pulling the wool over your eyes, and she wants the pill for other reasons. I hope I am wrong.)
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This is my gut reaction too.
Why would anyone want to take a pill with so many risks attached while they are so young?
In all honesty something just doesn’t sound right here…
 
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LynnieLew:
This is my gut reaction too.
Why would anyone want to take a pill with so many risks attached while they are so young?
In all honesty something just doesn’t sound right here…
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I got this vibe too…when my friend and I were 14 she told her mom that she needed BCPs for her acne. She lost her virginity within months of getting them.
 
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Scooby:
Unfortunately I’m the step-mother and I know her biological mother may provide it to her anyway. It’s very hard having a mixed family when they know they have another option if I say no.
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If your husband has custody, I don’t think the mother can get something prescribed for her like that, I thought she could only really do emergency care.
 
David Zampino:
A couple of items here:
  1. Use of such drugs for legitimate medical reasons is not forbidden.
  2. I would be far more interested in the underlying cause of excessively heavy bleeding than I would be in masking symptoms of what could be an underlying problem.
  3. Even supposing your daughter is not having sex, the links between the use of such drugs and breast cancer are shown to be stronger each year that goes by.
  4. Even when one stops taking such drugs, a return to fertility can be difficult. It would be awful if your daughter wanted to become pregnant some years from now and had difficulty conceiving – and such difficulty is a very real possibility.
The Couple to Couple League, in addition to providing guidance and assistance on matters of Natural Family Planning, can also provide guidance of other, healthier ways of controlling heavy bleeding. You might want to check them out.

Respectfully submitted (from a father of 4 daughters)
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Hi David.

Good advice.
 
If you think that her biological mom might be talked into giving her the Pill, you or your husband could jump the gun and talk to the biological mom. Share your concerns, use some of the reasons posted here to tell her why you think this is a bad idea, and ask for her cooperation. She will hopefully want the best thing for her daughter as well. Good luck!!
 
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buffalo:
I would defintely spend some time on this site:

There are health risks:

Federal Report on Carcinogens and the Abortion-Breast Cancer Link

An official list of “known human carcinogens” released by the Department of Health and Human Services in December 2002 includes steroidal estrogens for the first time. The Report on Carcinogens states that steroidal estrogens are used in estrogen replacement therapy (ERT) and common abortifacient drugs. Both kinds of drugs have been widely utilized by American women. The federal report is available on the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences website. [1]

While certain pharmaceuticals might provide limited medical benefits, women must balance these considerations against the fact that breast cancer is the second greatest cause of cancer among American women.

Clearly, the Report on Carcinogens presents a serious conflict for the National Cancer Institute (NCI), an agency of the Department of Health and Human Services. In February, a panel of grant-dependent scientists chosen by the NCI swept under the rug staggering biological and epidemiological evidence supporting a causal relationship between abortion and breast cancer which has been amassed over the last 46 years.

What do ERT and abortifacient drugs have to do with the abortion-breast cancer (ABC) link? Estrogen overexposure provides the biological explanation for most of the risk factors for breast cancer, including abortion. Estrogen is known to increase the rate of cell division. It causes normal and pre-cancerous cells to multiply. A few days after conception, estrogen levels start climbing, so that by the end of the first trimester, a mother’s estrogen level is increased 2000% and her breasts are swollen. Scientists theorize that only a third trimester process, differentiation (maturation of cells), neutralizes the mother’s exposure to estrogen and provides her with increased protection against breast cancer.

more…
Click to expand...
Also, increased estrogen levels increase the possiblity of fatal blood-clotting.
 
Thank God your daughter is open with you asked you to be on the pill. I hope my daughter is open enough to come to me with such issues. Thank God your daughter didn’t go behind your back to get the pill. She could very easily go to planned parenthood to get them without your consent. Many young girls in my area do that. I know because I work in the same office building as planned parenthood.

When I was 16 years old, all of my friends were sexually active. Most were on the pill. What did I do? I went to planned parenthood without my parents permission and went on the pill. I was raised in a good Catholic home and my parents were very much against premarital sex. I knew the difference between right and wrong. Peer pressure was big. I wanted to fit in. But…I was young and dumb and thought I was in love. I will regret not remaining a virgin until my wedding night forever. I tell my husband I wish I would have waited for him. I have just read Theology of the Body by Christopher West and now I hope to convey to my children about the importance of waiting for marriage and the beautiful gift from God sex is. My parents always told me premarital sex was a sin, but never went into much detail. After all, I was a know it all teenager. What did my parents know? The older I get, the more I realize they knew a whole lot.

Your daughter may be feeling pressure from her peers. Several of her friends may be on the pill and she may want to go on it just to fit in. I am speculating of course.

A period is so normal. A shot or pill that would let me bleed once in 3 months would scare me.

I regret taking the pill forever with all my heart. I took pill for the 1st part of my marriage to. I was conditioned to it, so why not?
No one educated me on the fact that one mechanism of action of the pill can be abortion.

My parents didn’t use birthcontrol their whole marriage. I knew better. But those are my sins. As I write this, I feel like crying.

Don’t let your daughter do it.

That’s my 2 cents.

God Bless!
 
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