Can my daughter miss Mass while vacationing with a friend's family?

[felix1115]

My daughter (age 14) was invited to go on vacation with her friend’s family who are Catholic but do not attend Mass. We take our faith seriously, attend Mass weekly, and do attend Mass while on vacation. My daughter is in Catholic school and is an altar server. My husband feels we should not allow her to go on vacation with her friend’s family because she will be missing Mass. I feel that is extreme, and I’m afraid this will turn her off to her faith as she enters her tumultuous teen years. I think a compromise of asking her to set aside time for prayer would be acceptable for the one Sunday she will be away with them. While I do firmly believe it is an obligation to attend Mass every week, if it is out of her control (i.e., she certainly can’t drive herself there, and the church isn’t nearby), should I tell her she cannot go?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Rather than keeping your daughter home altogether or giving her an easy out from Mass while on vacation, think of the positive example you could set for her if you showed her how to politely make known her need that she be given the opportunity to go to Mass while on vacation with her friend’s family. And if this family are non-practicing Catholics, think of the positive example it will set for them to see a family take seriously the need to attend Mass.

Reasonable people usually are very accommodating of the obligations others must meet, even if they don’t observe those obligations themselves. Suppose you call the parents of your daughter’s friend, cheerfully give permission for your daughter to go on the trip, and then say, “Oh yes, Jilly will need to attend Mass on either Saturday evening or Sunday. If you give me your itinerary for those days, Jilly and I would be happy to search MassTimes.org for a nearby Mass she can attend that will fit into your schedule.” It is not likely that the invitation will be withdrawn; and, if it is, it will be obvious to your daughter that the reason the invitation was withdrawn was not because of your unwillingness to let her go on the trip or your permissiveness in letting her skip Mass, but because of the inability of her friend’s family to accommodate her needs as a Catholic.