Can my parents take away a scholarship opportunity?

[TheRealJuliane]

Maybe it doesn’t seem like it in my postings, but I am reading the reposnses in this thread carefully, trying to assess my situation, and come up with the best possible resolution. This is a really tough situation for me, and I am not stretching the truth when I say that my parents are…well let’s just say stubborn. I have even heard a couple of their friends make this observation.

And yes, I am 17 years old. I realize that. I don’t claim to know everything. But I have parents who make decisions and then don’t want to hear about the matter from that point forward. My father has even told me that once he makes a decision, he will not listen to anything I have to say about the subject. This is a quote. I would like to have an intelligent discussion with my parents on this issue, but even brokering the subject with them will get me punished. So imagine my frustration. We’re not talking about whether I can play a computer game, or see a friend, or watch a TV show. We’re discussing my future. And I am entitled to be heard on this matter!

But my parents believe otherwise.

I can see that you are a thoughtful and intelligent young man. I’ve seen other 17 year olds come on here and rant about their parents in an entirely immature fashion. You are obviously not one of those. It’s a pity that your parents are being so heavy-handed. As a child grows up, it’s our job as parents to start letting them make their own decisions, with our guidance and advice. Teens especially need room to make a few mistakes, and recognize their mistakes, and make restitution for those mistakes. It helps them grow up. It sounds like your parents haven’t been able to let go of their control, as though you are a much younger child (although even young children need to have some sort of say in their lives).

Yes, you certainly are entitled to be heard. Do you have any older siblings who might be able to help you? An uncle or aunt? God parent?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I would start talking to a Navy recruiter. They’ll start calling the house. It will be great. Your parents will rethink that scholarship in NO TIME.

Ooooh, I LIKE the way you think…

 

[Brad17]

I would start talking to a Navy recruiter. They’ll start calling the house. It will be great. Your parents will rethink that scholarship in NO TIME.

I appreciate the advice, but I can’t do that. It’s too dishonest on several levels.

 

[dixieagle]

I would start talking to a Navy recruiter. They’ll start calling the house. It will be great. Your parents will rethink that scholarship in NO TIME.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I appreciate the advice, but I can’t do that. It’s too dishonest on several levels.

Well, but listen. You may not be interested in joining the military, but would that help you reach your parents, especially your dad, to let him know that you COULD join the military in just one year (or less, don’t know when you turn 18)? Did your dad perhaps serve? Would he be able to relate to you if you mentioned to him that although he doesn’t want you to have any say in your future, you could join up in any branch of service as soon as you are 18, without his permission, and you’d be out risking your life in the service of our country.

It might be a good tactic to consider, actually. To at least open the discussion of who gets to decide your future over the next few years.

 

[XRU]

I am 17 and will be going to college next year. I have very strict parents who have already decided what Catholic univeristy I will attend. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I just received early admission at a well-known, but non-Catholic univeristy. My parents are proud that I received it, but have made it clear that I will not attend this university.

I have applied for a scholarship to this Univeristy and have passed through the initial stages. They now want to conduct a phone interview. My understanding is that this means I am pretty far through the selection process. FYI my GPA is nearly perfect, and my SAT scores are all in the 740-770 range.

My parents have no problem with my going through the selection process, but have made it clear that if I receive a scholarship award that I will not accept it.

The scholarship is entirely merit-based. Family income is not a factor.

Here is my question. If I receive a scholarship, I do not need my parents financial assistance for a college education. But my parents intend to prevent me from using any possible scholarship awards so that I will no choice but to attend the college of their choice. Can they actually do this?

Please no lectures on why I should attend a Catholic Univeristy. I hear it every day and am tired of it. There is a world out there, and I want out of the cage.

Look . . . from the little you say about your parents I’d classify them as borderline abusive. Yes that is harsh. But I’ve seem my fill of parents that abuse their relationship with their kids.

Once you are 18yo you are your own boss and everyone will start treating you that way IF and only IF you start standing up for yourself!!! Got it? You have to take a stand after careful consideration of what is best for you in TOTAL and then stick to it.

I’ve gone to a lot of colleges and universities all secular and if I’d have a chance to do it again I’d go to a Christian College in a heartbeat. Why? If you pick the right one you will get a balance in all your classes which reflect the world in which God rules. Most colleges are unashamedly secular and even proud of their atheistic leanings IMO.

As another poster said you should look at the college that has the best reputation in the area you are interested in. If you don’t know then talk to people. This is not over between you and your parents. This is going to go on, if you let it for years and years and years. Will this stop when you get out of college. What is you want to marry a non-Catholic? What is you want to marry a Lutheran heaven forbid, or a . . . gasp, Mormon? What if you fall in love with a girl from the mid-East? These things happen. You don’t think they will but I’ve lived 65 years and I will tell you now that there is going to be trouble between you and your parents for a long time around them controlling you and the sooner you start acting like an adult the better for you AND for them.

 

[dixieagle]

I’m the mother of two grown young women and well remember the college application process. We are considered fairly conservative, very orthodox Catholic parents, but would never have dreamed of dictating where our daughters would attend college.

Our older daughter was actually accepted to our alma mater, a prestigious Jesuit university; alas, they give only a very few merit-based scholarships (perhaps 10 out of a class of several thousand) and the tuition was out of sight. The loans would have been astronomical, and she decided on her own to attend a large public university to which she had good scholarships. The Catholic Center was outstanding; that is where she met her husband and made many long-lasting friendships. She (and her sister, who turned down substantial scholarships at a small Jesuit college to attend a public university which offered a program she wanted) are both faithful Catholics whose faith was in no way harmed by choosing a public university.

I would inquire as to whether they is any way to circumvent the parental signature issue; perhaps explaining your situation might buy you some time until you can sign at 18. If they think highly enough of you to give you such a great scholarship, they may be willing to negotiate.

You sound like an extremely bright, articulate and accomplished young man who has, apparently, not done anything to lose your parents’ trust. As it is our job as parents to raise decent, confident young people capable of leaving the nest and making their own way, your parents intransigence baffles me (I wonder if it might be a cultural issue???)

Get what answers you can from your preferred school, arm yourself with information about their Catholic student center, and initiate a talk with your parents, no matter how difficult. If speaking to them is simply impossible, write them a letter explaining your position. It is sometimes easier to maintain a calm demeanor in print than in person.

It may turn out that this is all moot, given the parental signature issue, but perhaps not. Just be prepared for anger and hurt feelings if you are able, and choose to go to the college of your choice. Maintain contact as best you can, and pray that they come around; it would be their loss if they didn’t. Be prepared, also, to foot the bill for the many things beyond tuition that are necessary to living at college.

This advice is, of course, based on just one side of the story, but that’s all we have.

 

[XRU]

I appreciate the advice, but I can’t do that. It’s too dishonest on several levels.

You have NEVER thought about joining the military? You are just exploring your options my friend:shrug:

And you will get educational benefits for serving . . . big time. Check it out.

Believe me, you go to one of their tech schools there is not a chance in . . . well, any chance you will be assigned a mission you don’t want . . . like combat medic in the middle East. If you go into the Navy go for Electronics Technician . . . not watches that way.

Consider, if a real war starts you will be required to fight. Is their something wrong with that?

 

[XRU]

I’m the mother of two grown young women and well remember the college application process. We are considered fairly conservative, very orthodox Catholic parents, but would never have dreamed of dictating where our daughters would attend college.

Our older daughter was actually accepted to our alma mater, a prestigious Jesuit university; alas, they give only a very few merit-based scholarships (perhaps 10 out of a class of several thousand) and the tuition was out of sight. The loans would have been astronomical, and she decided on her own to attend a large public university to which she had good scholarships. The Catholic Center was outstanding; that is where she met her husband and made many long-lasting friendships. She (and her sister, who turned down substantial scholarships at a small Jesuit college to attend a public university which offered a program she wanted) are both faithful Catholics whose faith was in no way harmed by choosing a public university.

I would inquire as to whether they is any way to circumvent the parental signature issue; perhaps explaining your situation might buy you some time until you can sign at 18. If they think highly enough of you to give you such a great scholarship, they may be willing to negotiate.

You sound like an extremely bright, articulate and accomplished young man who has, apparently, not done anything to lose your parents’ trust. As it is our job as parents to raise decent, confident young people capable of leaving the nest and making their own way, your parents intransigence baffles me (I wonder if it might be a cultural issue???)

Get what answers you can from your preferred school, arm yourself with information about their Catholic student center, and initiate a talk with your parents, no matter how difficult. If speaking to them is simply impossible, write them a letter explaining your position. It is sometimes easier to maintain a calm demeanor in print than in person.

It may turn out that this is all moot, given the parental signature issue, but perhaps not. Just be prepared for anger and hurt feelings if you are able, and choose to go to the college of your choice. Maintain contact as best you can, and pray that they come around; it would be their loss if they didn’t. Be prepared, also, to foot the bill for the many things beyond tuition that are necessary to living at college.

This advice is, of course, based on just one side of the story, but that’s all we have.

I’d be much much more militant that this post but I heartily agree.

Adulthood is coming my friend. Time to step up . . .

 

[hsmomforlife]

Hi Brad. I think some posters, especially those who are parents of teenagers or adult children, will come at this from their perspective of parenting their own children. I haven’t parented teenagers yet (still have 11+ years to go), but I can remember thinking my parents were being really unreasonable about some things that actually weren’t that unreasonable in hindsight. I’m not saying that’s your situation, but some posters may have that attitude so if they do, please don’t think they think less of you or that your situation isn’t somehow serious. They just have a different perspective as parents.

Based on what you’ve written, if your parents are truly authoritarian and will not listen to you, then…they may try and take away your scholarship opportunity. Can they legally speaking? I don’t think so. Should they, morally speaking? Probably not.

Here are some good concerns I could see your parents having:

1. That the school will lead you away from the faith (or them)
2. That the scholarship is for a program or career path that does not have good job prospects
3. That you may lose the scholarship if you can’t keep your grades up

I think good parents looking out for their child’s best interest would be naturally worried about these things. If you can address these concerns and if they would listen (and I would at least try so you know you’ve made your share of the effort), you could try some of the following: Maybe get in touch with the Newman Association on campus, or the Catholic chaplain (or priest at a local parish) so they know you’ve got good contacts as soon as you arrive on campus. Or get in touch with the departments of a major you are considering and ask them for information on job placements - or even better, bring it up in your interviews and see what your interviewer has to say about it. Find out what resources are available as far as tutoring. Show your parents that you’ve done your homework.

When you say that it will “destroy” your relationship with your parents, what do you mean by this? Do you mean that they will be angry with you and you will be punished merely for presenting your case for attending the school if you are awarded the scholarship? Will you be kicked out of your home? Or will they be angry that you (apparently) don’t care about their (name removed by moderator)ut?

Not trying to hijack but can I adopt you in a few years to chat with my oldest when he’s ready for college?? :yup:

 

[Chantal25]

Is your question is if they can do this Legally, Or if they can do this spiritually.

Legally, yes, you are under 18

Spiritually, yes, they are your parent and you need to honor your parent if their decision is for your highest good, which they seem to be all about this. Perhaps, consult with a priest for guidance.

There are a lot of temptation, your parent know better and they are putting your soul well being before anything else.

Pray God, to allow all the perfect miracles for the highest good. If going to this University that you wish, is for you, then God will guide your parent, if not, then you need to trust.

I understand you and i hear you so so much, but you need to pray about this and trust the Lord.

Hugs and love!

p.s All parent will be accountable to the upbringing of their children when they die, don’t forget this. Once you have the legal age, then it is up to you to do God’s will, but your parent seems like they want to give you all of what they learned and they understand all the temptations.

 

[Brad17]

I’m the mother of two grown young women and well remember the college application process. We are considered fairly conservative, very orthodox Catholic parents, but would never have dreamed of dictating where our daughters would attend college.

Our older daughter was actually accepted to our alma mater, a prestigious Jesuit university; alas, they give only a very few merit-based scholarships (perhaps 10 out of a class of several thousand) and the tuition was out of sight. The loans would have been astronomical, and she decided on her own to attend a large public university to which she had good scholarships. The Catholic Center was outstanding; that is where she met her husband and made many long-lasting friendships. She (and her sister, who turned down substantial scholarships at a small Jesuit college to attend a public university which offered a program she wanted) are both faithful Catholics whose faith was in no way harmed by choosing a public university.

I would inquire as to whether they is any way to circumvent the parental signature issue; perhaps explaining your situation might buy you some time until you can sign at 18. If they think highly enough of you to give you such a great scholarship, they may be willing to negotiate.

You sound like an extremely bright, articulate and accomplished young man who has, apparently, not done anything to lose your parents’ trust. As it is our job as parents to raise decent, confident young people capable of leaving the nest and making their own way, your parents intransigence baffles me (I wonder if it might be a cultural issue???)

Get what answers you can from your preferred school, arm yourself with information about their Catholic student center, and initiate a talk with your parents, no matter how difficult. If speaking to them is simply impossible, write them a letter explaining your position. It is sometimes easier to maintain a calm demeanor in print than in person.

It may turn out that this is all moot, given the parental signature issue, but perhaps not. Just be prepared for anger and hurt feelings if you are able, and choose to go to the college of your choice. Maintain contact as best you can, and pray that they come around; it would be their loss if they didn’t. Be prepared, also, to foot the bill for the many things beyond tuition that are necessary to living at college.

This advice is, of course, based on just one side of the story, but that’s all we have.

Yes it is just one side of the story, although I have tried not to become overly emotional or stretch the truth in my postings. I can assure you this is really tough for me.

My parents have a very strong fear that I will leave the faith. I have a desire to understand how the rest of the world thinks. Fordham has such a strong reputation that I believe I that I can ask tough questions there and can set aside my concerns about attending a Catholic college. I do not have that belief for the school my parents want me to attend - they seem much more focused on personal behavior standards than the quality of their education.

As to why my parents have this fear, they have seen friends and family members leave the faith over the past decade. They seem convinced that I need a constant Catholic environment to avoid my leaving the faith as well. It is not true - my faith is strong. But I rarely talk to my parents about it, mostly because it is a rather personal thing to me, and it is still developing. It’s hard for me to explain.

 

[Cat]

OK. Lots to talk about here.

My younger daughter, a physical therapy grad from a Catholic university, owes forty thousand dollars in student loans.

Her father and I owe ANOTHER forty thousand dollars for her education.

Not four thousand. FORTY thousand X 2 = EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!

And she received a partial scholarship to her college. If she hadn’t received the scholarship, the loan would probably be around a hundred thousand dollars.

Our house only cost seventy-thousand!

And we have another daughter, an older daughter, who owes about fourteen thousand, but at least we don’t owe anything for her.

And you’re telling us that your parents will not allow you to accept a full scholarship to a college!!!

The way I see it, your parents are 1) fabulously wealthy or 2) insane (delusional) or 3) have been living in a cave for the last 30 years and have no idea what “college education” costs in the United States.

OK. So seriously now, first thing I would want to know is, “Just how much does this scholarship cover?” If it’s just for tuition, big deal. That’s helpful, but there are still a lot of expenses to cover, and it’s not worth crying over. So before getting too upset, find out how much the scholarship covers.

BTW, my husband was the recipient of a FULL scholarship to one of our state universities, and it covered EVERYTHING, including apartment rent after he got married to me. EVERYTHING—tuition, books, fees, living, food–EVERYTHING!

Of course, this was back before our state (Illinois) went flat broke. At that time, we only had one governor in prison. Sigh. Ah, the good old innocent days.

If your parents are truly telling you to pass up a true full scholarship like the one my husband received, then like I said, they are not in full possession of their senses, and you might want to ask some of your friends’ parents to try to talk to them and explain graphically how icky it is to be in your mid-50s, trying to set aside money for retirement, but having no money to set aside because you are forty thousand dollars in debt for your kid’s student loans.

But let’s talk about a few other things.

So you have good grades and high test scores. Big deal. Means NOTHING nowadays. You will soon learn that there are thousands of kids just like you with straight As and high ACT or SAT scores.

Colleges are looking for extracurriculars. Did you go to Africa and dig a well for a tribe devastated by a drought? Did you start up a Facebook page and raise a million dollars to help pay for your friend’s cancer treatments? Even better, did you work with the scientists who developed the cancer treatments and help them develop a NEW cancer treatment and get your name listed in the article published in the New England Journal of Medicine?

Even more important, are you fascinating? LOTS of kids do LOTS of extracurriculars. For some reason, they impress the college staff and faculty during the interview. Are you CERTAIN that YOU will impress the college at YOUR interview?

I probably sound a little mean here, but honestly, you do NOT have that scholarship in the bag yet. In this day and age, with college costing more than a house, there will be thousands of applicants for that scholarship. If you are the type of young man who cries over the fact that your parents are controlling your future, I’m not so sure that you’re going to wow the college staff at the interview.

Finally, you ask if Catholics really fall away from the faith at college. Yes, in droves.

If I could talk in person to your parents, I would tell them that many Catholic kids fall away from Catholicism at CATHOLIC colleges. Your parents will eventually learn that once a child becomes an adult, they are responsible for their own faith. It’s a very very hard and heartbreaking lesson for parents to learn. They want desperately to keep their childrens’ souls safe, but they can’t. So give your parents a little break here and be kind, and believe them when they express fear that you will fall away–no doubt they have talked to other parents and heard gut-wrenching stories of children who have fallen awa, and they are scared to death that it will happen to you, too. The best way to convince your parents that you will not fall away from Catholicism at college is for you to be an exemplary Catholic right now, in your home and your high school. But usually, those super Christian teenagers are the first ones to fall away from the faith in college.

Anyway, I hope I’ve given you some things to think about.

In conclusion, I would say that if your parents are willing to PAY for your college and have the money to do so, TAKE IT and don’t complain! Man, are you lucky! Many kids would gladly trade places with you and go to whatever school your parents told them to go to in exchange for not being burdened with a monster student loan.

Good luck to you.

 

[Kelfa28]

OK.
Colleges are looking for extracurriculars. Did you go to Africa and dig a well for a tribe devastated by a drought? Did you start up a Facebook page and raise a million dollars to help pay for your friend’s cancer treatments? Even better, did you work with the scientists who developed the cancer treatments and help them develop a NEW cancer treatment and get your name listed in the article published in the New England Journal of Medicine?

A girlfriend of mine graduated second in our high school class. She did a multitude of extracurriculars and, on a side note, managed to develop some new way to save cranberry bog plants with a special pesticide…or something, I can’t remember it was 12 years ago, for a run-of-the-mill science project. Suffice to say, it was a big deal and she went to the national science fair and received an award.

She got zilch in scholarship money from the colleges she applied to. She got accepted to them all but got no money.

Another girlfriend graduated number 1 in our class, had less extracurriculars but had obscenely high standardized test scores and GPA. She also went to the National Science fair the year before because she cured cancer or something…like I said, it was 13 years ago.
She nabbed a FULL RIDE (everything…all of it…just short of a salary) to Harvard…early acceptance. She also didn’t want to accept it right away because of the off chance that Princeton would offer her more. I remember giving her the best look I could and saying…“like what…pay you to go there?”

Not to say you won’t get the scholarship but it’s a tough and unpredictable world out there.

As for your parents. You’ll be 18 soon. They can’t control your every move once you get to college…including a future transfer if things don’t work out at your first choice school.

Besides…they need to understand that PLENTY of people completely loose their faith at Catholic colleges and universities. It happens, in droves, all the time.

 

[Et_Cetera]

Brad, I am sorry to hear that your parents are giving you such a hard time, and unlike several posters here, I don’t think that you should be forced to compromise or to choose another school. This is your life, and if you feel that your school of choice will help you to achieve your goals more than the other schools, then you should go to your first pick. I don’t want to offend you, but it sounds as though your parents are unreasonable–they’re allowing their religious convictions to come between you and your future, and that is quite a shame. They should be proud and happy that you got into Princeton, Stanford, or wherever it is that you want to go.

If they’re this unreasonable about your college choice, then I can only assume that they are a bit off the mark with other aspects of life. It might be tough, but perhaps you need to tell yourself that your parents are hindering you. I don’t think that you should give up your academic dreams to appease your parents. After all, if you go to their college of choice, then what other demands are they going to make? Are they going to disapprove of your relationships? The jobs you take? At some point, you have to decide that you really need to live your life as you see it. Maybe if you put your foot down and go about your own life, they will see that you’re serious and come back to you. They might just be making a power play–figuring that they can make you go to a school of their choosing.

As for your legal rights, I think that you should call the university in question and ask them about the signatures that you need. Explain your situation. They might have a good solution or someone with the legal knowledge to talk you through this problem. And if you won’t be eighteen by the time that you need to enroll, then well…there is always emancipation. I don’t think it would ever have to get to that point. I think your parents would probably back off if they saw that you were that serious. Best of luck, and congratulations on your achievements.

 

[EasterJoy]

This is how very long angry family disaffections can get started. Take the long view: you want your relationship with your parents to last a lifetime, because it is precious and there is nothing with which either of you can replace it. Your best bet is to be mature and look into how you can come to a decision that satisfies both you and your parents, even if it leaves one or the other of you less thrilled than you might like. Even if you make a decision to defy what your parents want, realize that there are ways to do that which range from far worse to far better. Take stock of your position and do not act rashly.

Talk with your pastor about this, someone who knows your parents. I’d also arrange to talk to a Catholic college counselor. I think that even if you are homeschooled your pastor could get you in to talk with a guidance counselor at the closest Catholic high school. That way, you can make an informed decision with an adult who can help you talk with your parents about your options.

Also, have you applied for scholarships at any Catholic universities? They are not cages. They’re still university and you will still be an adult there. No one will sit on your neck, and you will find that even the most conservative are not extensions of your parents.

Finally, have you investigated or contacted the Newman Center at the secular university you are considering? You and your parents may find that the priests assigned to the university can see to it that you are spiritually well-provided-for, even there. You don’t have options, though, unless you arm yourself with facts that show your parents that you have options.

In the end, you’ll want someone who is discrete and steady and preferably who knows your parents to help you decide how to navigate this problem. You don’t have to hand your decision over to someone else, but don’t go this alone, and don’t be so independent that you won’t listen to advice you do not want to hear. In the meantime, though, remember you have no scholarship offer yet and you do not know that you’ll only have one to consider. Don’t suffer in advance over a fate that may not even be yours to suffer and do not throw away gold to allow yourself to count chickens that haven’t even hatched.

Sufficient for each day is its own evil. Look for the grace to get through today’s problems and the clearness of mind to see what is and is not today’s task. Your goal, after all, is not to please yourself or to please your parents. Your goal is to please God. Keep your eye on that prize. Don’t get ahead of yourself and in so doing race ahead of the hand of God. A cool head and a bit of patience will serve you very well.

PS I’ll give you this advice as someone who “questioned”, left the Church, and came back…do your questioning somewhere where you can get answers. It doesn’t have to be a Catholic university, but it does have to be somewhere that you will have access to competent Catholics to address your questions. Don’t trust yourself to figure it all out correctly yourself. The world’s track record on that is not very good. It is arrogant to think we, especially at eighteen, are going to do better than that average our first time out. If I had it to do over again, I’d have taken all those questions to some priests I know now. It would’ve saved me some very perilous intellectual wandering, and I could’ve learned what I got “out there” all the same.

 

[Brad17]

Well after four hours of sleep, I woke up. This never happens to me, but I am so worked up over this issue that I can’t get back to sleep. It’s going to be a struggle in school tomorrow.

After reading the responses after my last post, I have got to post a couple responses. Maybe then I can get some more sleep.

 

[Brad17]

This is a reply to “Cat”. I can’t include her post and my response together - the result is too long for the response to be accepted.

My parents are very well off financially. I don’t know the numbers - it’s none of my business. It is my understanding that paying for my college education is not a problem for them. I am not unappreciative of how lucky I am to have parents who are this financially successful, but let me ask you something. At what point do they no longer have the right to dictate my decisions? Obviously you think they can dictate my choice of college. Can they choose my major? Can they choose all my classes? Can they choose who I date? Who I marry? What job I accept after I graduate? How many kids I have and when I can have them? When I can retire? Draw me a line here, and be specific.

I appreciate what you are saying about extracurricular activities (although I think your statement about being credited in the New England Journal of Medicine is a bit much), and I do have them. I also realize that it is very possible that I will not receive any schlolarship awards. But I do have a chance - my understanding is that only about 2% of the applicants for the scholarship I am competing for are granted a phone interview.

You don’t think a scholarship board will be impressed by me because I have the outright audicity to question my parents decisions for my future? I should just be a good little wimp and accept everything my parents dictate without question? What if my parents wanted me to become an abortion doctor? What if they wanted me to break the law? What if they demand I choose a major that clearly does not match my skills and interests?

This country needs leaders, not those who blindly follow. I can defend my choices, and if given the opportunity I will be more than happy to explain them.

Simply because I disagree with my parents does not make me immature. This is a truth many people in the Church seem to have trouble understanding. If I were 10 years old, then yes I should just shut up and obey them. I am 17, not 10. I have this wild and crazy idea that responsibities should be gradually be given to teenagers so that they can learn to accept them and grow up to be a responsible adult.

 

[Brad17]

Not trying to hijack but can I adopt you in a few years to chat with my oldest when he’s ready for college?? :yup:

I think you are giving me too much credit, but thanks anyway.

 

[Brad17]

Is your question is if they can do this Legally, Or if they can do this spiritually.

Legally, yes, you are under 18

Spiritually, yes, they are your parent and you need to honor your parent if their decision is for your highest good, which they seem to be all about this. Perhaps, consult with a priest for guidance.

There are a lot of temptation, your parent know better and they are putting your soul well being before anything else.

Pray God, to allow all the perfect miracles for the highest good. If going to this University that you wish, is for you, then God will guide your parent, if not, then you need to trust.

I understand you and i hear you so so much, but you need to pray about this and trust the Lord.

Hugs and love!

p.s All parent will be accountable to the upbringing of their children when they die, don’t forget this. Once you have the legal age, then it is up to you to do God’s will, but your parent seems like they want to give you all of what they learned and they understand all the temptations.

Sigh, you sound exactly like some of my parent’s friends. My parents can do no wrong. I should just be thankful and obey them. They have my best interests at heart, and when I group up I will understand.

I am 17 years old. If I still need to have every decision in my life dictated by my parents, then may I suggest that they have seriously failed to raise me properly.