Can my son have two confirmation sponsors?

[Krisy]

I just spoke with our parish’s religious education director about my son receiving his Confirmation and First Holy Communion next spring (we homeschool, so there are some logistics to work out). I explained that my son’s godmother lives up north, and while she is a good godmother to my children (sends Catholic gifts for birthdays, stays in touch by phone with me, etc.), she can only be involved in a minor way (we haven’t seen her in over 5 years). We have some wonderful friends here that we see all the time, and my friend is a devoted Catholic who would be perfect for my son’s sponsor since she could be involved in everything for him, now and long-term.

The religious ed director said that they could both be listed in the register as sponsors, but only one could present my son to the bishop. It would be a perfect situation for us, but I wanted to make sure this was not against Church teaching. It would really be nice to include my friend up north to complete the godparent/confirmation sponsor circle, but my friend here in Florida could be the one actively involved and a support to my son over the years. I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you so much in advance.

Krisy

 

[1ke]

Canon Law uses “sponsor” in the singular:

Can. 892 Insofar as possible, there is to be a sponsor for the person to be confirmed; the sponsor is to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in this sacrament.

Can. 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in ⇒ can. 874.

§2. It is desirable to choose as sponsor the one who undertook the same function in baptism.

Unlike baptism, it does not make mention of two sponsors (one of each sex). But, neither does it prohibit it.

 

[Phemie]

If his godmother can’t be present, have your friend be his sponsor for Confirmation. My son is closer to his Confirmation sponsor than to his godmother whom he hasn’t seen in years.

 

[Krisy]

Thank you for the responses. I guess I would just like to include my son’s godmother in a small way–the simple recognition of sponsor would be enough, but my other friend would certainly play the primary role. I just want to be certain that it would be alright to have them both listed in the register.

Krisy

 

[kage_ar]

Your son should choose his sponsor. What are his opinions?

 

[Krisy]

Your son should choose his sponsor. What are his opinions?

My son is only 7, but he completely embraces his faith, and has been waiting for a long time to receive his sacraments. We have talked about both options quite a bit, and frankly, he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t remember his godmother at all, but he knows she is very good to him. My other friend is someone he knows well, and he spends lots of time with their family (their son is my son’s best friend). So you can see that this is a big decision. I never considered having both as sponsors until it was mentioned to me this morning, and it sounded like it was fine with the bishop, just that only one could present him during his confirmation. It really would solve this entire problem if it is acceptable with the Church since the godmother would receive the recognition and complete the baptism/confirmation connection, but my son would have the other sponsor as someone who can guide him spiritually right here at home for many years to come.

Krisy

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Off topic- I’m glad you live in a place where they confirm young! It’s a trend I see happening more and more in the Latin Rite. Those little folks can sure use the graces of Confirmation as they grow, esp. during the teenage years. My diocese has just started it, and I am excited about it for my younger two.

On topic- Why don’t you just ask the one person to be sponsor? As 1ke pointed out, it’s not a clear-cut thing.

 

[puzzleannie]

only one sponsor is required for confirmation
and only one godparent is required at baptism, for that matter.
The usual person to sponsor the child at confirmation is the baptismal godparent(s). If they cannot serve for some reason you can choose another sponsor, who must meet the same qualifications as for a godparent. Distance is not a reason, the godparent can still be the conf. sponsor, and you can have a proxy stand in at the actual rite.

in many places, like here, because of the seating arrangement bishop prefers and size of the Church, only one adult can actually physically stand with the candidate during the confirmation rite, although the other godparent can be seated elsewhere in the Church and be listed on the sacramental record.

if the baptismal godparent is no longer part of the child’s life or a good Christian mentor, he should choose another adult who is to be the confirmation sponsor.

 

[Phemie]

Off topic- I’m glad you live in a place where they confirm young! It’s a trend I see happening more and more in the Latin Rite. Those little folks can sure use the graces of Confirmation as they grow, esp. during the teenage years. My diocese has just started it, and I am excited about it for my younger two.

On topic- Why don’t you just ask the one person to be sponsor? As 1ke pointed out, it’s not a clear-cut thing.

Since the role of the sponsor is to be there and stand with the confirmand, I don’t see the point of naming the baptismal godmother if she won’t be there. Besides, according to my canon law handbook by Huels, the same ‘one male, one female’ rule applies for Confirmation as for Baptism.

 

[dconklin]

Thank you for the responses. I guess I would just like to include my son’s godmother in a small way–the simple recognition of sponsor would be enough, but my other friend would certainly play the primary role. I just want to be certain that it would be alright to have them both listed in the register.

Krisy

Be careful with this Krisy. I see way too often that sponsors and even godparents are chosen because it is an honor or they are expected to serve that role (like an aunt or a parent’s best friend). A sponsor should truly be someone that your son can talk to an emulate. Someone they see often. Someone who they have a big part in choosing.

 

[Krisy]

OK–perhaps a bit more clarification…

There is a chance that my son’s godmother, who is involved in his life will be able to attend the actual confirmation. She will not, however, be there for the 9 months of prep (our parish organizes several things over the months leading up to confirmation in May, and I was told that they would begin as early as Sept.) or after (thinking years here). She is a very long-distance godmother. My other friend is an amazing Catholic who lives here in Florida near us. We see them at least 1-3 times/week, and our families are very close. I expect both women could be there for the confirmation ceremony itself, but my local friend will be a support that my son can turn to at any time.

I have heard that two sponsors have been named before (I asked the question in another Catholic forum also), but in our case, the bishop requests that only one sponsor present the child to the bishop. If there is Church teaching that states there can be ONLY one sponsor, I believe it will be my local friend as I feel it is very important for my son to have support here. My son’s godmother is wonderful, but the distance is a problem, especially since my son has a true love of the Church and has even expressed that he has thought about the priesthood. I want him to have someone other than my husband and myself to discuss his hopes/fears/questions with. Does this make sense, or am I making a mistake?

Krisy

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Since the role of the sponsor is to be there and stand with the confirmand, I don’t see the point of naming the baptismal godmother if she won’t be there. Besides, according to my canon law handbook by Huels, the same ‘one male, one female’ rule applies for Confirmation as for Baptism.

1.) I am for naming just the other friend as sponsor. I think this whole thing is kind of superfluous. I’ve got this picture in my mind of all these people gathering around one kid, while other kids have to scrounge by with just Mom or Dad as a proxy for somebody else.
2.) The baptismal godmother could be proxied, as puzzleannie pointed out.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

…I have heard that two sponsors have been named before (I asked the question in another Catholic forum also), but in our case, the bishop requests that only one sponsor present the child to the bishop. If there is Church teaching that states there can be ONLY one sponsor, I believe it will be my local friend as I feel it is very important for my son to have support here. My son’s godmother is wonderful, but the distance is a problem, especially since my son has a true love of the Church and has even expressed that he has thought about the priesthood. I want him to have someone other than my husband and myself to discuss his hopes/fears/questions with. Does this make sense, or am I making a mistake?

Krisy

Go with your other friend, please. It’s what you want to do. You are not offending anybody if you don’t make it into a tempest. Don’t apologize for it, just do it. The baptismal godmother is still his godmother and doesn’t need to be listed. In the olden times, most people had a baptismal sponsor and a confirmation sponsor.

 

[snhs]

OK–perhaps a bit more clarification…

There is a chance that my son’s godmother, who is involved in his life will be able to attend the actual confirmation. She will not, however, be there for the 9 months of prep (our parish organizes several things over the months leading up to confirmation in May, and I was told that they would begin as early as Sept.) or after (thinking years here). She is a very long-distance godmother. My other friend is an amazing Catholic who lives here in Florida near us. We see them at least 1-3 times/week, and our families are very close. I expect both women could be there for the confirmation ceremony itself, but my local friend will be a support that my son can turn to at any time.

I have heard that two sponsors have been named before (I asked the question in another Catholic forum also), but in our case, the bishop requests that only one sponsor present the child to the bishop. If there is Church teaching that states there can be ONLY one sponsor, I believe it will be my local friend as I feel it is very important for my son to have support here. My son’s godmother is wonderful, but the distance is a problem, especially since my son has a true love of the Church and has even expressed that he has thought about the priesthood. I want him to have someone other than my husband and myself to discuss his hopes/fears/questions with. Does this make sense, or am I making a mistake?

Krisy

At the end of the day its his decision, so leaving it up to him and not pushing forward your geographically closer friend is probably the better option.

The important thing in a sponsor is that they be there for the Confirmation and support the person they’re sponsoring through prayer etc, as it looks as though both could be there its not as important a factor, and they could be in contact throughout the preparation period on the phone etc.

There are obviously advantages to having a sponsor who lives in the area. But there could be disadvantages in having one of his best friends mums, particularly if he were to fall out/become more distant from her son at some point. The other thing is the family could move at any time if the need arises, and then you’d have the same situation.

I’m not sure if being physically present as a support is as crucial so long as they are supporting the child through prayer and can talk quite easily whether on the phone or in person.

I know you probably don’t intend it to sound as such, but what you feel is important doesn’t matter nearly as much as what your son thinks is important. The fact that his Godmother is hopefully coming despite not having been asked to be sponsor surely shows that she takes her preexisting responsibilities seriously and I certainly wouldn’t count geographical distance against her if I were considering who I should choose as Sponsor.

Its obvious that you want to do what is best for your son, but this is something where he needs to make his own decision, both with your help/support and that of friends/family etc. You still have months before the preparation starts and you probably won’t formally have to have a sponsor before then at least, suggest that he pray for guidance on it and hopefully he’ll find what the right decision is.