Can One Be Godly, Modest AND Fashionable?

[TrueLight]

Recently, I saw a woman I hadn’t seen in a while. She usually has cute short styles in red or burgundy or blonde.

I commented on the fact that she was growing out her hair and it was dark. She said, "I started going to Church. I don’t judge anyone, but for me, I see the Bible tells me I must be modest. So I said, “Let me guess. You’re pentecostal now?” and she said yes and pointed me to the famous 1 Timothy 2 verses:

9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

Now. I am not the most flamboyant person in the world, but I do like fashion.

– I get my mani-pedi regularly.
– I wear exotic jewelry
– I sometimes wear my hair in fancy hairstyles
– I like high heel shoes sometimes
– I don’t dress like the women in my traditional parish (not to be uncharitable, but they dress very, very plainly and older than their ages).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t always like to dress up. Sometimes I like to be non-descript. but is my station in life to not wear anything that will make me stick out?

Can I not be traditional, modest AND fashionable?

Does being modest mean I have to dress like this?

As long as I’m not wearing tight, or skin-baring clothes, can I not dress pretty?

Are there any Saints who liked to dress up?

Are there any traditional women here who are with me?

Opinions of both men and women appreciated. Thanks.

 

[karow]

And we’re off!

 

[Edward_H]

Great topic.

Pulling up a chair to sit next to you.

 

[Monica4316]

Hi TrueLight,

that’s a good question

You might be interested in looking up Leah Darrow on YouTube… she’s a former contestant on America’s Next Top Model, but then she had a pretty powerful conversion (reversion) and now she talks about Catholicism, modesty, and fashion she’s a good example of someone who is a committed Christian, modest, and pretty/fashionable. In one video she talked about how we can be a “billboard for Christ” with our clothing, and how that’s not something boring, but exciting and a good opportunity to witness and also show our creativity.

In my case, - in high school I was really into fashionable jewellery, styles, etc, however I wasn’t very modest. Nowadays, I try to dress modestly… to be completely honest with you I am kind of drawn to the “traditional Catholic” look (but not Amish style… just: long skirts, long hair, no low necklines, shoulders covered etc), but I’m not going to push that on anyone else. I still wear pants when it’s cold or to exercise. And if I go somewhere special, I do my hair, put on some fancier jewellery and a nice dress… none of this looks like something from another era, I just try to make sure it covers enough skin, that’s all. I think as long as your clothing is not revealing or too tight, I think you’re fine with modesty.

The other topic that’s related though, is vanity. Someone can dress in the modest way described above but - care wayyyy too much about appearance, in a vain way… sometimes limiting jewellery, wearing simpler clothing, etc, - can help a person get rid of vanity. I know one summer, God convicted me to not wear any makeup for a while (and I look very tired and pale without it, so that was quite hard lol). Nowadays, I try to either not wear makeup, or wear very little. Sometimes limiting these things is like “fasting”: it helps us to put God more first in our life, and to also decrease vanity… when we look in the mirror and think “oh that looks good!” - there might be a temptation to feel vain as we’re walking on the street, maybe comparing ourselves to others… or maybe that was only my problem in any case - unless God convicts you to wear very simple clothing and no jewellery, and unless you’re called to religious life, - I personally don’t see a problem with what you said… as long as God is not trying to tell you something else (you’d know it, imo). But maybe it might help to have days, for example Fridays and Wednesdays, when you dress simpler and avoid the jewellery, just as the form of “fasting” that I tried to describe I dont know. It’s between you and God basically.

It might be that if we’re vain, we’d have to spend time in Purgatory for that. This is what I’m concerned about. It’s more perfect to follow 1 Timothy 2 in a strict way, because the Saints did this, and because it’s in Scripture of course. However, I can’t figure out if everyone is called to this ideal, or if some are, and others are not. (like with religious life). That’s something to pray about I guess What 1 Timothy 2 might be also saying, is - don’t consider these outward things your adornment, but rather your good works.

As for Saints who dressed elegantly/fashionably… I’ve read about a Blessed who always wore beautiful dresses until she entered religious life, and then she gladly gave it up, but she was fine with dressing this way in the world. Maybe it depends on your state of life, who knows.

The point I’m trying to make is - this is perhaps something to discern for yourself… but if you feel God asking you to give up these things, be generous

God bless!

 

[Tomcmaj]

Can I not be traditional, modest AND fashionable?

You can be traditional and modest.

You can be modest and fashionable.

But you can’t be traditional and fashionable.

Why? Because fashion always pushes traditional just a little further than traditional wants to go! That’s why it’s called fashion.

 

[Edward_H]

Putting effort into one’s modesty and refinement seems to be how to do this.

Some seem to be able to achieve beauty, refinement, humility and fashionable.

Refinement is the way to express both humility and beauty.

 

[TrueLight]

Just to clarify, I left out a word in the original post. The woman I know likes to wear cute short HAIR styles. Not anything like shorts or short skirts.

So she felt in order to be modest, she couldn’t wear bright hair color anymore.

 

[grasscutter]

And we’re off!

Nothing unkind to the OP who has a legitimate question, however :coffeeread:

 

[Walking_Home]

Don’t see why not. You can be Traditional–Modest—Fashionable. Just don’t let people mess with your head.

 

[TrueLight]

In my case, - in high school I was really into fashionable jewellery, styles, etc, however I wasn’t very modest. Nowadays, I try to dress modestly… to be completely honest with you I am kind of drawn to the “traditional Catholic” look (but not Amish style… just: long skirts, long hair, no low necklines, shoulders covered etc), but I’m not going to push that on anyone else.

I actually like long skirts too and I don’t like to reveal too much skin. But I am likely to add something like this or bangles to the outfit.

The other topic that’s related though, is vanity. Someone can dress in the modest way described above but - care wayyyy too much about appearance, in a vain way… sometimes limiting jewellery, wearing simpler clothing, etc, - can help a person get rid of vanity.

Hmm.

The point I’m trying to make is - this is perhaps something to discern for yourself… but if you feel God asking you to give up these things, be generous

God bless!

Good advice.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

When you dress it might help to think who am I trying to impress or please. Is it God or is it other people? Am I trying to be sexy or trying to be virtuous? Do I want people to look at me and see how beautiful I am or see that I represent Jesus.

Colleen Hammond has a very good book out called “Dressing with Dignity.” Her thoughts are that modesty does not mean frumpy. She also has a website you might want to check out. colleenhammond.com/category/dressing-with-dignity/

I have a hard time when thinking fashionable because most of today’s fashions for women are extremely immodest. I think one can dress nice and very pretty and still be modest. Will modesty be in line with todays fashions maybe not completely but what this world needs is women who are going to be witnesses of modesty and femininity.

 

[Love_Divine]

Just to clarify, I left out a word in the original post. The woman I know likes to wear cute short HAIR styles. Not anything like shorts or short skirts.

So she felt in order to be modest, she couldn’t wear bright hair color anymore.

This is true. There’s more to modesty than how we dress.

 

[TrueLight]

You can be traditional and modest.

You can be modest and fashionable.

But you can’t be traditional and fashionable.

Why? Because fashion always pushes traditional just a little further than traditional wants to go! That’s why it’s called fashion.

I see what you’re saying. But by fashion I don’t necessarily mean the latest fashion. I have my own style.

Some people like to dress in a steampunk style, which is actually retro, but that does tend to attract attention.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

And we’re off!

That’s funny and good, you’re right.

 

[TrueLight]

When you dress it might help to think who am I trying to impress or please. Is it God or is it other people?

It’s probably not God. Most likely myself.

Am I trying to be sexy or trying to be virtuous?

Definitely not sexy. I prefer to look virtuous and lady-like.

Do I want people to look at me and see how beautiful I am or see that I represent Jesus.

Is both a good answer?

I have a hard time when thinking fashionable because most of today’s fashions for women are extremely immodest. I think one can dress nice and very pretty and still be modest.

I agree. i definitely dress modestly in terms of covering up, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t help but feel overdressed when I’m among women who dress frumpy. Makes me wonder, if I am the one who is dressing wrongly.

 

[TrueLight]

Putting effort into one’s modesty and refinement seems to be how to do this.

Some seem to be able to achieve beauty, refinement, humility and fashionable.

Refinement is the way to express both humility and beauty.

What do you mean by refinement? Do you mean classy versus garish, for example?

 

[TrueLight]

I suppose I’m thinking about all this because I have been reading about self denial and penance and I wonder if fashion can be a distraction.

And again, by fashion, I don’t mean the latest trends, but maybe just the focus on clothes and self maintenance.

 

[Walking_Home]

It’s probably not God. Most likely myself.

Definitely not sexy. I prefer to look virtuous and lady-like.

Is both a good answer?

I have a hard time when thinking fashionable because most of today’s fashions for women are extremely immodest. I think one can dress nice and very pretty and still be modest.

I agree. i definitely dress modestly in terms of covering up, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t help but feel overdressed when I’m among women who dress frumpy. Makes me wonder, if I am the one who is dressing wrongly.​

And be careful–about being pushed into scrupulosity. The way its looking–the danger is there —that many may well end up with that. Some may already be there.

 

[svid2]

Ladies, listen carefully.

I’m a single guy, a regular church-goer, and, yes, looking.

There’s nothing like a modestly dressed woman!!

MDWs, let me say this:

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

 

[Walking_Home]

Ladies, listen carefully.

I’m a single guy, a regular church-goer, and, yes, looking.

There’s nothing like a modestly dressed woman!!

MDWs, let me say this:

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

---

Instead of “looking” --try praying.