Can One Be Godly, Modest AND Fashionable?

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svid2 said:
Ladies, listen carefully.

I’m a single guy, a regular church-goer, and, yes, looking.

There’s nothing like a modestly dressed woman!!

MDWs, let me say this:

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!
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Aside from not showing too much skin or not wearing tight clothing, would you consider a woman in high heels, jewelry and makeup to be modest?
 
Walking_Home said:
And be careful–about being pushed into scrupulosity. The way its looking–the danger is there —that many may well end up with that. Some may already be there.
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Scrupulosity is not one of my weaknesses. I am more likely to be lax than scrupulous. 😃
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Walking_Home:
Instead of “looking” --try praying.
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Ha ha.
 
TrueLight said:
…

… is my station in life to not wear anything that will make me stick out?

Can I not be traditional, modest AND fashionable?

Does being modest mean I have to dress like this?

As long as I’m not wearing tight, or skin-baring clothes, can I not dress pretty?

Are there any Saints who liked to dress up?

Are there any traditional women here who are with me?

Opinions of both men and women appreciated. Thanks.
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Now that you have a goal to be modest, you must know what it means: free from ostentation, moderate, decent. I believe there are current clothes available for women that meet that goal.

The current fashion trend 2011 though seems to be: bare the legs or cleavage (front or side), maybe in a retro 70s or punk mode, or sheer and clingy evening ware (like lingerie). One question to answer is will the way you display your body make other women envy your attractiveness? Or perhaps you are so sexy that men begin to avoid you? That may sound odd, but those that discriminate avoid temptation, and that can be an indication.
 
TrueLight said:
Aside from not showing too much skin or not wearing tight clothing, would you consider a woman in high heels, jewelry and makeup to be modest?
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If they are accents to wardrobe, then I do not see an issue. However, if they draw too much attention or are dominant, then you’ve gone too far. I believe you can be both modest and attractive when it comes to attire.
 
TrueLight said:
Recently, I saw a woman I hadn’t seen in a while. She usually has cute short styles in red or burgundy or blonde.

I commented on the fact that she was growing out her hair and it was dark. She said, "I started going to Church. I don’t judge anyone, but for me, I see the Bible tells me I must be modest. So I said, “Let me guess. You’re pentecostal now?” and she said yes and pointed me to the famous 1 Timothy 2 verses:

Now. I am not the most flamboyant person in the world, but I do like fashion.

– I get my mani-pedi regularly.
– I wear exotic jewelry
– I sometimes wear my hair in fancy hairstyles
– I like high heel shoes sometimes
– I don’t dress like the women in my traditional parish (not to be uncharitable, but they dress very, very plainly and older than their ages).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t always like to dress up. Sometimes I like to be non-descript. but is my station in life to not wear anything that will make me stick out?

Can I not be traditional, modest AND fashionable?

Does being modest mean I have to dress like this?

As long as I’m not wearing tight, or skin-baring clothes, can I not dress pretty?

Are there any Saints who liked to dress up?

Are there any traditional women here who are with me?

Opinions of both men and women appreciated. Thanks.
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Nope.

Ya gotta dress like that ‘this’ or YOU AIN’T CATHLIK! 😛

Seriously? Everyone has a personal style. Mine is probably different than yours and changes with my mind, which is often.

While I really really really wish people would dress better to attend Mass, hey. At least they’re there, even if they do have someone’s handprint stitched onto their back pockets. :eek:

People have gone off the deep end as far as fashion goes, telling others they have to dress like Quakers or Amish or Moslems or first-century people to be ‘modest,’ ‘traditional’ or even ‘respectful.’

This is because they can (very correctly!) see how far downhill society has gone. But we ain’t gonna get it back on track by dressing in frumpy clothes head-to-toe, which in itself can almost come off as: Look at me! Look how holy I am compared to you!

There’s a world of difference between covering yourself in sackcloth and ashes, and basically running around in your underwear with every imaginable strap showing. Find what’s in between, and most importantly what makes you feel comfortable.
 
Vico said:
Now that you have a goal to be modest, you must know what it means: free from ostentation, moderate, decent. I believe there are current clothes available for women that meet that goal.

The current fashion trend 2011 though seems to be: bare the legs or cleavage (front or side), maybe in a retro 70s or punk mode, or sheer and clingy evening ware (like lingerie). One question to answer is will the way you display your body make other women envy your attractiveness? Or perhaps you are so sexy that men begin to avoid you? That may sound odd, but those that discriminate avoid temptation, and that can be an indication.
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I do see myself as dressing modestly. However, the “free from ostentation part”, not so much.

And no, I don’t dress like a Jezebel. 😛
 
TrueLight said:
I see what you’re saying. But by fashion I don’t necessarily mean the latest fashion. I have my own style.

Some people like to dress in a steampunk style, which is actually retro, but that does tend to attract attention.
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If you have your “own style”, then you’re not traditional.

And chances are, you’re probably not fashionable either!

😉
 
TrueLight said:
I suppose I’m thinking about all this because I have been reading about self denial and penance and I wonder if fashion can be a distraction.

And again, by fashion, I don’t mean the latest trends, but maybe just the focus on clothes and self maintenance.
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yes, I think it can be. I think sometimes it is for me. That’s why I’m trying to focus less on it. I have lots of jewellery that I bought in high school and beginning of university, and it’s kind of fancier than what I wear on an everyday basis, so I wear that jewellery on special occasions only. I think it would be a good penance to give away much of it as well 🙂 as I don’t need so much. But yes sometimes all these things are a distraction, that is kind of what I meant in my post too 🙂

Regarding modesty… it’s good to choose clothing based on how much it honours God. For example, in my age group, most girls wear tiny shorts, short skirts, etc. However, I do not feel comfortable with that. I noticed that really long skirts are sort of in style now… so I bought a long dress, and it’s sleeveless but I can wear something overtop. I guess I do look a bit different than how many girls dress, over the summer. (in the winter, people kind of all dress modestly more or less lol 😛 except if they’re wearing leggings with a short shirt :)). But - that is a good sacrifice to make for Jesus 🙂
 
Ruth_Catherine said:
When you dress it might help to think who am I trying to impress or please. Is it God or is it other people? Am I trying to be sexy or trying to be virtuous? Do I want people to look at me and see how beautiful I am or see that I represent Jesus.

Colleen Hammond has a very good book out called “Dressing with Dignity.” Her thoughts are that modesty does not mean frumpy. She also has a website you might want to check out. colleenhammond.com/category/dressing-with-dignity/

I have a hard time when thinking fashionable because most of today’s fashions for women are extremely immodest. I think one can dress nice and very pretty and still be modest. Will modesty be in line with todays fashions maybe not completely but what this world needs is women who are going to be witnesses of modesty and femininity.
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I was going to recommend Colleen Hammond too. I heard her speak at a conference several years ago. She is a very sharp dresser - nothing frumpy or plain for sure. Her whole talk was about creating your own sense of fashion and style with modest principals so that you don’t have to be a slave to fashion that may not be so modest. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she was a beauty pagent girl. 🙂

Another champion of the modest AND fashionable woman is as Genevieve Kineke.

Here’s an interesting blog article (Be Modest, Not Frumpy) that quotes both Hammond and Kineke.

teaattrianon.blogspot.com/2009/06/be-modest-not-frumpy.html
 
Yes, it can be done.

I will come by later and edit my post as to how it can be done in my opinion as I need to leave for work this morning.
 
I don’t think there is any such thing as “traditional” dress. Pre Vatican II people dressed up for Mass and they didn’t look frumpy. They wore what was in fashion. In the 40s and 50’s they wore pencil skirts, or brightly colored dresses, high heels and fancy hats. Going to Mass was, according to my mom, a chance to wear your fashionable clothes, especially if you were a homemaker and I didn’t get out much. She said only the old widows dressed frumpy, usually in black.

If you like jewelry then wear it. Most jewelry today is fun to wear and the costume stuff is low cost. I don’t usually wear a lot of jewelry but when I do I enjoy it and it makes me feel happy. Some of the most Godly women I know are very fashionable. Just because we’re Catholic doesn’t mean we can’t have fun or enjoy looking good.
 
Since I cannot figure out how to edit my past post, I will make my reply here instead.

Yes, one can be Godly, Modest AND Fashionable. It does not matter your budget and size either. I am learning it can be done and it does take time & effort. Yes, you can keep those things in mind no matter if its a hot summer day or a cold winter day.

I am a plus size woman. It does take more effort to find nice yet stylish clothes that are not tight and revealing. Many shirts and dresses for women my size reveal a good deal of cleavage. I am learning to either alter the necklines or wear something that conceals that more area often. Cleavage is not appropriate for Mass and for most offices either no matter your size. I make sure a few skirts and shirts are set aside in my closet especially for Mass even if I do not wear them to the office.

Yes, I do wear makeup but keep it simple (and as natural as possible) but wear a bit more for parties & concerts. I do like to wear a few pieces of simple jewelry but wear one showy piece for parties/concerts. I also do dye my hair to hide the few gray hairs I am getting. I do like to put my hair up nicely sometimes instead of the pony tail I favor most of the time.

I do not wish to look frumpy but at the same time I know with me taking the time and effort to locate clothes in a variety of places that are appropriate, modest and fashionable plus suitable for work & Mass. I ask myself mentally is it appropriate for the office AND Mass before buying it. Some clothes are fine for lounging around the home, doing yard work, parties, concerts, sporting events, etc. But a few items should be appropriate to either spend 40 hours a week wearing to the office, and an hour or so for Mass.
 
I am quite sure you can be godly, modest, AND fashionable.

Personally, I find people of my age more attractive who wear more modest, simple clothing [not so far as “Little House on the Prairie” if that’s what you’re thinking] and don’t try to make themselves completely and utterly stand out from the crowd. Different is good, just not when its BAM, in your face!. But then again, if being completely different is you, and its not morally wrong, go for it.👍
 
Joannm said:
I don’t think there is any such thing as “traditional” dress.
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That brings up an interesting point. I think there is developing a Trad subculture in a way, where women tend to dress a certain way. Both young and old tend to dress the way the Catholic widows used to dress back in the day.

That seems to be the definition of modesty.

I guess what a lot of people don’t quite get, not just me, is how to dress modestly and not look anachronistic?

I don’t mind dressing retro, but can it be a nice retro?
 
Regarding saints who dressed fashionably. How about the BVM? In every description of an apparition, there’s mention of her clothing which is beautiful, always different, and the majority of time she’s wearing color. I remember one description that included the roses on her feet.
Saint Helen was Emperor Constantine’s mother. Katherine of Aragon was the estranged wife of Henry VIII, There is a recent movement re. her canonization. I believe Louis IX, king of France, is a saint. All wore beautiful clothes, certainly modest but not drab. Also there’s a man who has achieved the status of Blessed. He worked as a hat maker in NYC. He was the main support of a French family who were his masters when he was their slave in Martinique. I’m sure they and his clients were kept very much in style by him.
Did people cluck over certain attire in the 40s and 50s? Yes. This included dungarees, now known as jeans, being worn to Mass. Women in hair curlers covered by babusksas,
tight fitting sweaters, pointed bras, strapless gowns and dresses. Also the empire waisted dress where the waist came under the breast which, according to one priest, made the wearer look pregnant. He forbade high school girls from wearing it. Ditto the strapeless gown or dress. Nuns pulled the priest’s stole out for one girl to wear when she showed up in her strapless prom dress.
Mother Angelica said that some women who wear make-up are actually performing an act of charity to others. The proper application of make-up is an art. A little goes a long way. Older women start losing pigment. Grey or white hair, no color on the face, then beige or black which drains even more color adds up to a very dowdy and depressing image. Whistler’s Mom or Small’s Jackie Kennedy? Both modest but one is certainly more appealing than the other.
 
aicirt said:
Mother Angelica said that some women who wear make-up are actually performing an act of charity to others. The proper application of make-up is an art. A little goes a long way. Older women start losing pigment. Grey or white hair, no color on the face, then beige or black which drains even more color adds up to a very dowdy and depressing image. Whistler’s Mom or Small’s Jackie Kennedy? Both modest but one is certainly more appealing than the other.
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I agree. Especially if the woman is a professional. People take professional women more seriously if they look good, that means they wear makeup and dress well. For work, and I work in a parish that is wealthy and ALL the women dress well, I usually wear skirts and kitten heels or dressy flats. A bit of foundation, bronzer, shadow and mascara, but in a natural look. If I don’t wear make up people start asking me if I am not feeling well or if I didn’t get sleep because I have dark shadows under my eyes and can look drawn out.
 
TrueLight said:
What do you mean by refinement? Do you mean classy versus garish, for example?
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That would be one example, a good one. Generally, care in the details of dress and beauty, pruning or sanding off any rough edges. Harmony, balance, grace, gentleness, beauty, all manifestations of God in you.

Not desiring to draw attention to oneself with adornments but instead to present God’s beauty to the world, to draw attention to the beauty within, the joy within, the Spirit inside of you.

We attract others for God!
 
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