Can one really go a week without committing a mortal sin?

[Contarini]

Thank you. I must ask is there a time limit on committing a sin on ones heart?

I don’t think it’s a time limit–I think it’s about the will.

I think about this because it is one of the things I worry about with regard to Catholicism. Temperamentally I’m inclined to scrupulosity (which, alas, does not mean that I make great efforts to be holy. . . ), and while I believe firmly in the value of confession, I am somewhat dubious about the rather legalistic way Catholicism has traditionally dealt with the matter. So if I were to become Catholic I might wind up tormented the way you are.

But at the end of the day I think I can tell when I have consented to a sinful thought. I’ve had plenty of sinful thought to which I’ve consented and plenty to which I haven’t, and so (God knows) I’ve had plenty of opportunity fo figure out the difference.

Edwin

 

[Melchior]

I don’t think it’s a time limit–I think it’s about the will.

I think about this because it is one of the things I worry about with regard to Catholicism. Temperamentally I’m inclined to scrupulosity (which, alas, does not mean that I make great efforts to be holy. . . ), and while I believe firmly in the value of confession, I am somewhat dubious about the rather legalistic way Catholicism has traditionally dealt with the matter. So if I were to become Catholic I might wind up tormented the way you are.

But at the end of the day I think I can tell when I have consented to a sinful thought. I’ve had plenty of sinful thought to which I’ve consented and plenty to which I haven’t, and so (God knows) I’ve had plenty of opportunity fo figure out the difference.

Edwin

Thanks, Edwin. I think we get each other on this. I am pretty sure I know when I am consenting to sin and when I am not. The problem is, I sin, to much. I hate being human sometimes.

Mel

 

[Melchior]

You’re welcome.

If by fantasize, you mean deliberately initiate the thoughts and willfully and pleasurably entertain them, then that may be a mortal sin. But I really don’t know. This subject should be discussed face to face between you and your confessor.

Above I wasn’t referring to fantasizing, but more to the arising of a non-deliberate thought. For instance, if someone ran into my car, I might get angry and want to hurt them. These thoughts and feelings may be more than fleeting, but if I am not deliberately entertaining and nurturing them, they are a venial sin, not a mortal one. This is because they arise naturally out of our own personalities and spiritual state. I think that a person can work towards a relationship with God where these thoughts and feelings would be less likely to arise, or would be more fleeting when they do.

The teaching of the Church is that participation in the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist removes the guilt of venial sin. These sins do not have to be confessed, but they don’t have to be withheld in confession either. If you have any doubt about whether a sin is venial or not, confess it.

Also, you do not have to forego communion if confession is not available to you. You have to be willing and ready to confess, truly contrite and go to confession at the next opportunity. Don’t miss communion! It is Christ Himself and He will heal you and give you the grace you need to get over this problem and not sin.

Personally, while I do think that it’s something of a scandal that more Catholics don’t go to confession, I take advantage of the fact that there isn’t a long line. I’m a graduate student and so busy that if my head weren’t attached I’d lose it. So, when I go to confession, it’s probably the only time I’ll see my confessor other than Mass. So I talk to him instead of just confess my sins. I ask about these exact kinds of things. Doing this has greatly helped my understanding and put me at peace with my relationship to God.

If your confessor is not someone who you think you can do this with, find a different confessor. Either a different priest at your parish or go to a neighboring parish. Personally, I think that the more conservative a priest, the better the advice I get in confession. More liberal priests seem to sometimes be dismissive of the seriousness of sin.

Thanks, this is definately helpful.

Mel

 

[Melchior]

Start off with the notion that as humans we are blest with the ability to reason and be reasonable. This would not be possible if God was not totally reasonable. God expects us to do our best to follow His rules which must be reasonable. That said there is no magic time limit on sins of thought. One could entertain a brutal or lacivious fantasy for seconds and commit serious sin or for hours and not do so. The point is that there is a point in time, not measured in seconds, minutes, or hours when you realize the thoughts you are entertaining are wrong. It has to be a conscious recognition that allows you by an act of your will to start taking action to rid yourself of these particular thoughts. The ridding may be swiftly successful or it make take some time, but the important thing is that you are working on it. You are taking action, praying, distracting your mind with something good, whatever, but you are taking action. There is no mortal sin.
Now lets say you are setting idle and a good looking chick walks by. You gaze at her and start to think of the possibilities. You almost instantly recognize this is not a good thing to be doing, but you think to yourself “What can a little fantasy hurt? I am going to dwell on these thoughts and enjoy them.” If you recognize those mental actions as being serious matter and you blow off doing anything to change your thoughts, yes, possibly a serious sin.

I sat with a group of non-catholics last week and we talked about sin, one woman was concerned about the “sins” she committed in her sleep, a couple of guys talked about the sins they were committing without even knowing it. I was thinking that I was happy to be a Catholic and know that God was not a petty tyrant setting traps to nail me for being disloyal.

One last thing. I was once very scrupulous and the only way to sanity turned out to be to stick with one confessor and follow his advice without question. He said when you commit a mortal sin there is no uncertainty. You will be absolutely sure and have no doubts. You will know it! If you have doubts whether it was mortal I don’t want you to confess it. It was difficult to follow that advice, but looking back some 50 years later, I think I would have eventually dispaired and committed suicide. I will include you in my rosary. Dick

Thanks very much, Dick.

Mel

 

[Spirithound]

I believe in confession. But I also believe it has to be better than this. I want to be a slave to Christ who sets us free not a slave to someone elses schedule and convenience to be right with God. I am convinced I commit mortal sins, even if in brief moments, often. I am a sinner, God have mercy on me.

The sense I am getting is that many Catholics rationalize their sins to fit the venial category even when they are mortal - just to get by and be happy. I don’t want to live my life in self delusion. Anytime I have minimized my sins the results were very bad. When I realize just how sinful I truly am I do much better.

It is tough to go from thinking relationally for 25 years, “I sin my Father in Heaven forgives me and I am restored. Grace is never lost, but the relationship is damaged” to “I sin my grace is destroyed and I am once again God’s enemy until I can get to a priest, even though I am genuinely sorry and angry with myself”. There is the dillemna.

Do you feel that you can only go to confession in the regularly scheduled times? Priests basically have office hours, the priests who actually live at the church are the best, I have never been refused an opportunity to confess when i have arrived at the rectory between the hours of 9 and 5 (after 5 they may be having dinner at someone’s house, or other pastoral duties).
It is good that you recognize your sinfulness, it is quite frankly scandalous that the liberal factions have made so much headway that even certain priests do not consider certain things sins (although i have never experienced this myself).
Since you don’t want to live your life in delusion, you have made a good start by coming into the Church. I recommend making an appointment with a priest, and discussing your scrupulousity with him. Particularly, I think you should tell him what you have written above, about when you minimize your sins bad things ensue, and when you recognize your sinfulness, you do much better, mainly because you do seem scrupulous, and it would be quite bad if you could be doing much worse than you are right now.
To add on to my first paragraph above, if it truly is not possible to just pop in on a priest for confession, ask your confessor about an act of perfect contrition, and get a strong sense of what it means, and how to know if you have made one.
Hope this helps.
St. Monica, pray for us.

 

[wcknight]

There was a time, when I too thought I could not make it through a week without a mortal sin, but with God’s help I believe I have long gotten past the point were mortal sins are a problem.

Venial sins are another story, although I have been able to cut back on those as well.

The fact that you can acknowledge that you are sinful helps. It is the first necesary step toward being able to do something about it. Frequent prayer and confession also helps. Determination and resolve to do better along with the foregiveness and grace of God will allow you to overcome your weaknesses.

For awhile there may be some relapses, but you must be very determined to get back up and do better. Developing a deep hatred for sin, acknowledging our failures, asking forgiveness and prayer will all go a long way to help you conquer your weaknesses.

I made it a lifelong practice that after any failure especially big ones, I would make a good act of contrition. IF I knew I did something deliberately wrong (one of the main criteria for a mortal sin) I immediately asked for forgiveness and resolved to do better and resolved to go to confession as soon as possible.

I too just went through a nasty lawsuit and it was difficult not to think ill of the other party. There were more than one occasion that I wished the worse for our adversaries. They certainly would have deserved it, (and they probably still do). But as soon as I caught myself I reasoned that this was wrong and I would rather see them in Heaven and have them explain to me before Almighty God, why they choose to be such rotten folks.

I don’t believe this was wrong in any way. It is a perfectly normal human reaction to dispise folks who gravely injure you (mentally, physically, or emotionally), but once you get over the initial shock of the offense, you must treat them as a fellow child of God.

The folks who we had to deal with have a lot to answer for (in spite of our settlement with them). But that is between then and the Almighty. During our ordeal it was difficult not to wish the very worse upon the opposition. We found it tough to understand how folks would maltreat other folks and ignore it like it was just a routine way of doing business.

We had to keep in mind that God would make things right, if not in this life then certainly in the next. Sometimes, we have to keep in mind that vengence belongs to God alone. Even if the law fails or justice is not served as we would want now, divine justice can never be avoided not even in the hereafter.

Our prayers are answered in that our ordeal is over with. But we still believe that the opposition got away with very deceitful tactics and profited from their dishonesty. They may have escaped justice for now, but long term they will eventually have to answer to God. We did everything as honestly as possible and followed the rules. We feel vindicated and have a clear conscience and that is much more important than getting revenge or retribution.

 

[Lady_Cygnus]

It is blissful when you feel like many priests don’t take confession seriously and you feel like a pain showing up. I believe in confession. But I also believe it has to be better than this. I want to be a slave to Christ who sets us free not a slave to someone elses schedule and convenience to be right with God. This would be easier if there was an actual answer as to what constitutes mortal sin. I am getting some good opinions, and I do appreciate it, but this thread alone has contradictory opinions. I am convinced I commit mortal sins, even if in brief moments, often. I am a sinner, God have mercy on me.

The sense I am getting is that many Catholics rationalize their sins to fit the venial category even when they are mortal - just to get by and be happy. I don’t want to live my life in self delusion. Anytime I have minimized my sins the results were very bad. When I realize just how sinful I truly am I do much better.

It is tough to go from thinking relationally for 25 years, “I sin my Father in Heaven forgives me and I am restored. Grace is never lost, but the relationship is damaged” to “I sin my grace is destroyed and I am once again God’s enemy until I can get to a priest, even though I am genuinely sorry and angry with myself”. There is the dillemna.

What’s wrong with thinking that the relationship is damaged and in order to repair it you have to show steps that you are moving your heart in that direction? It’s not so much being God’s enemy, but his wayward child. If your child does something wrong (say lies to you), the relationship between you and the child is damaged. The child has a choice, he can repent, confess their wrongdoing and do penance to show their repentance, for example come to you, confess that he lied and then accept the punishment for the lie. Or this same child could hide the fact that he lied, you find out later and punish him more severely.

When we commit mortal sins we in effect are storming out of our Lord’s house. The Lord, in his wisdom and mercy, has given us a way to reenter the house, through penance.

Also, just because you can’t make it to confession doesn’t mean you’ll be going to hell, if you are truly sorry for the sins then the Lord takes that into account.

Think of it this way, before as a Protestant you had no way of showing the Lord you were truly sorry, now you do. Think in terms of the child who’s stormed out of the house, the Protestant version would just walk up to the door and leave a note on it saying, “I’m sorry, I promise I won’t do it again.” The Catholic version you actually have to approach a person, say the apology and go the extra step towards making the relationship better (washing the car, mowing the lawn, etc).

 

[Lady_Cygnus]

That is not what I’ve previously read/heard. My understanding was that a *venial *sin can be committed without full intent, although not without some degree of consent. I.e., one may have an angry or lustful thought and not fully consent to it, but there’s something in you that responds to it and perhaps you don’t push it away quite as quickly as you might. That, as I understand it, would be a venial sin. I am certainly willing to be instructed better. . . .

I believe that the Council of Trent said that no one could go through life without committing some venial sins, but anyone could (with the grace of God) go without mortal sins.

In Christ,

Edwin

Your right Edwin, I didn’t realize I’d written it that way, mortal sins must be done with full intent, venial sins only require some degree of willingness

Thoughts are a difficult thing to classify, because do we consent to all our thoughts? I think even some of the more grave thoughts are only venial if it’s not by our will that they come about - but as we become less bound by sin we see those thoughts diminish. If anything it gives us a window into the true state of our souls

 

[Pug]

Also, you do not have to forego communion if confession is not available to you. You have to be willing and ready to confess, truly contrite and go to confession at the next opportunity. Don’t miss communion! It is Christ Himself and He will heal you and give you the grace you need to get over this problem and not sin.

I’m worried this advice may be misinterpreted. If you examine yourself and decide that you have done a mortal sin, do not go up for communion until you have gone to confession, except in rarer instances that don’t sound like they apply here, since the OP has confession available nearly each week and gave no indication of danger of death, etc.

If you don’t know of an actual mortal sin that you did since your last confession, go up to communion. It will help you in your fight against sin. Not to go up would deprive you of that help.

 

[StCsDavid]

I mean in ones thoughtlife. Can anyone really be ready for the Eucharist on Sunday without confession on Saturday. I am despairing of believing this is possible.

Here is a real life example, I am going through a horrible legal battle with some very greedy people who have deeply hurt and slandered those I love. I struggle greatly with sadistic thoughts about them. Not that I would ever act these thoughts out, but I would think the committing the sin in your heart constitutes mortal sin.

You might follow up on these thoughts with your own mantra of “I forgive.” These people did horrible things to you, but despite all of that, you forgive them. That is will be the measure of your conversion. The thoughts themselves are not sinful.

 

[Sixtus]

God isn’t going to say, “Well, you sinned on Tuesday and died on Thursday, but confession wasn’t until Saturday evening, so it’s eternal damnation for you. Sorry but that’s the rules.”

I mean, c’mon!

I am not sure you understand what a mortal sin is.

It was taught in our catechisms when I was a lad, that just about anything and everything was a mortal sin.

Then the theologians got hold of it and ‘got real’, now the view is that a mortal sin is a willful and deliberate turning away from God.

Now if you sin but you are sorry and do not turn away from God, then chances are it was not a mortal sin.

But I agree with you, we should be in a pretty good state to receive Him. St Paul also tells us that to receive Him unworthily is to eat and drink damnation to ourselves 1Cor 11: 27-28, so we have good reason to make ourselves ready for Him.

But one mustn’t become too over-scrupulous. I have been down that road, everything, family, work, other committments had to be abandoned in order for me to go to confession on Saturday evenings so that I am ready to receive Him.

A priest told me Holy Communion is not a reward for good behaviour. Another priest told me that if in doubt-go to Communion.

You would know if you were in grave sin. But by all means discuss it with your PP. Then you will know one way or the other

Good luck and God bless

 

[rr1213]

I am not sure you understand what a mortal sin is.

It was taught in our catechisms when I was a lad, that just about anything and everything was a mortal sin.

Then the theologians got hold of it and ‘got real’, now the view is that a mortal sin is a willful and deliberate turning away from God.

How could the catechisms have been incorrect? What about all of those people who relied on the teaching of the catechisms regarding mortal sin?

 

[Timidity]

It was taught in our catechisms when I was a lad, that just about anything and everything was a mortal sin.

Then the theologians got hold of it and ‘got real’, now the view is that a mortal sin is a willful and deliberate turning away from God.

When you were a lad? The 1885 Baltimore catechism seems to define mortal sin in the same manner as the new Catechism… What has changed?

 

[eliasaph99]

I’m worried this advice may be misinterpreted. If you examine yourself and decide that you have done a mortal sin, do not go up for communion until you have gone to confession, except in rarer instances that don’t sound like they apply here, since the OP has confession available nearly each week and gave no indication of danger of death, etc.

If you don’t know of an actual mortal sin that you did since your last confession, go up to communion. It will help you in your fight against sin. Not to go up would deprive you of that help.

You’re right.

What I have written could be interpreted lightly. I wrote this assuming that for one reason or another, confession is not easily obtained where the poster lives.

As an example, at my previous parish, it was not possible to get confession except during the scheduled times. It was not from a lack of willingness of the priests, but from there not being enough priests. The parish I was a member of had thousands of parishioners, and I know that the priests worked dawn till dusk with every moment of every day scheduled.

Kind of highlights the need to pray for vocations.

In this situation, should a person deprive themselves of communion?

My understanding is that they should not. To those who are truly repentant and contrite, the Lord is exactly what they need.

Now, perhaps if the dawning of a mortal sin happens during the Mass, a person should not go up for communion, but should wait until the next day and try to make a confession that day. But if a person is willing to confess and confession is unavailable, I believe that it is proper to receive communion.

Please clarify if I have missed any fine points.

 

[eliasaph99]

I am not sure you understand what a mortal sin is.

It was taught in our catechisms when I was a lad, that just about anything and everything was a mortal sin.

Then the theologians got hold of it and ‘got real’, now the view is that a mortal sin is a willful and deliberate turning away from God.

Now if you sin but you are sorry and do not turn away from God, then chances are it was not a mortal sin.

I think I have a pretty good understanding of what constitutes a mortal sin, but there’s always room to learn.

I have to disagree with what I think that you have written here. It seems like you’re saying that a person who commits a mortal sin will be unrepentant by definition. But this is not true.

People willfully disobey God, turning their back on Him, but then realize their folly. They turn back to Him in their hearts. I think that this is plain. If what you were saying were true, then mortal sin would never be confessed, because those who committed them would simply stay in their state of rejection.

But this is frequently not what happens. People realize that they are without God and it affects them. They feel a loss and become repentant, perhaps realizing what they have done and what they have given up. They become contrite and seek forgiveness.

This is not uncommon among God’s people. It is difficult to walk in His way, and especially when we are young in the faith and learning, it is easy to stumble.

 

[eliasaph99]

How could the catechisms have been incorrect? What about all of those people who relied on the teaching of the catechisms regarding mortal sin?

I think that the author meant catechism class. So it would have been the teachers who were incorrect.

Anyways, a catechism is not an infallible document. They can contain error.

 

[Pug]

Kind of highlights the need to pray for vocations.

So true.

As an example, at my previous parish, it was not possible to get confession except during the scheduled times. It was not from a lack of willingness of the priests, but from there not being enough priests. The parish I was a member of had thousands of parishioners, and I know that the priests worked dawn till dusk with every moment of every day scheduled.

In this situation, should a person deprive themselves of communion?

It is not enough for confession to be unavailable. There is another criterion. There must also be something that constitutes a “grave” reason to receive. I don’t know what makes for a grave reason. Surely near danger of death would be one. Here is part of CCC 1457:

Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution, unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession.

Being in an area where you have access to communion but no access to confession, and where this situation goes on for months at a time, maybe this would be grave reason, since receiving Jesus is essential for our life, and helps preserve us from more mortal sins. I’d ask a confessor for guidance if you find yourself long deprived of the sacrament of confession. I wouldn’t consider it grave if the problem only lasts for a week or two. But as I said, I don’t know what exactly is covered by this “grave reason” clause.

More and more I see how lucky I have been in my life. Confession has always been easily available.

 

[JimG]

Keep in mind too that no one can really judge the state of his own soul infallibly. We do the best we can in judging our sins, and in the confessional we ourselves are the prosecutor. You make the best judgment you can, and if you believe you have committed mortal sin, then certainly go to confession. There is no requirement to go to communion at every Mass.

When it comes to sins of thought, it’s easier to indulge in them nowadays than it used to be. Sexual fantasies are presented to us everywhere–billboards, movies, TV, Internet, Victoria’s Secret, magazines, catalogs. Temptations are a lot more prevalent than they were back in the dark ages when I was in high school. So if the temptations are 1000 times more prevalent, it can be expected that the sin will be more prevalent.

As for confession, I had a non-Catholic tell me once that “you Catholics have it easy–you can just go confess it and get rid of it, whereas I just have to live with it.” But then he was not really a Christian himself. Sometimes I think it would be easy to believe in OSAS for that very reason–not having to worry about your sins taking you out of God’s grace. That’s an error of course, but I can see the temptation. ‘I sinned badly just then, but not to worry since I am already saved.’

 

[Pug]

I want to know that if I slip up God still blesses me and my family in between my sins and my next confession. How do I lead my family in prayer, trust he answers me and blesses my labours if I am in a state of mortal sin even though I am repentant and have confessed to Him.

As a new revert I feel like that grace is so fragile and so dependant on me to maintain I have very little peace.

I see why you are concerned. This is not as it ought to be. I don’t have a perfect solution for you. I know what helped me in my own particular ways. I realized that I could not rely upon myself and it left me with no peace. But I am no longer troubled by this, even though I still am obviously unreliable. The difference was trust. I know it sounds trite, but I don’t know how to explain any better. I dumped it in God’s lap and figured that if it is possible to get into heaven for such a loser as myself, well, God could figure out how to do it, and He is way more on the ball than me, and there is nothing I can really do about how unreliable I am, so God, you take this problem. And then slowly over a few weeks, the lack of peace on the issue left me. I am the same as before, and I can’t trust myself. But the problem is gone. Maybe that makes no sense to someone outside of myself, but truly it makes sense.

You can lead your family because it is your duty. Each day that you wake up, do the job that is before you. Leave the rest to God. Nothing more even can be done by you. Don’t think, oh, I’ve ruined this day already by blowing a bunch of graces I could have had. Think, what would you have me to do today, Jesus? Then do it. Trust for the rest. You can do nothing else. God will do far more for your family than you could with blazing strength.

What is that bible verse about worrying and adding an hour to your life? The birds neither sow nor reap, etc. (Pug=hypocrite, Pug=hypocrite…)

It is not about you. Maybe you need to limit yourself to a short examination of conscience each day, no more. Spend any other time you feel the urge to scrutinize your failings praying for your family. That is just a thought, anyway.

 

[hambrf]

THis is exactly what I am talking about. How do we know if we are not taught.

I am a revert to the Church for almost 13 yrs. now. I have thought all this time that I am scrupulous and have been working on this. But recently, I had questions about sexual thoughts and actions once I became engaged. I am older and have been married and annuled. However, No matter the question I have in regards to what exactly the a Commandment means or the Church teaches,most people do not really know and I have a difficult time searching for the REAL answer. Once I have the answer to my question I am not scrupulous but conscience and making sure I do my best not to fall into sin.
My confessor at my parish gets impatient with me.but when he explains to me the meaning of what I am going through such as me judging a sin as mortal but it is really venial,then I feel calm because I know what is up.
I love the Church. However, it really is very general in teachings. For example, the Commandment on Adultry. It encludes fornication and lust. And even though the Cathecism tells us this, it does not really explain further. For example, We can see someone and think they are good looking and our body can respond to their attraction in a sexual way immediately. That is ok. But if we have EVIL INTENT,then it becomes not normal and a sin. Now a step further,what is evil intent. I hope I am making myself clear. I am very intellengent and I like to know the whole truth to things,it is my nature. I have always been like this, This was one reason I left the church at a young age because no one could answer my questions and then most people turn it back on me in one way or another,such as being scrupulous or too deep or not trusting God and on and on. But what it is …I just want to know what something means. Simple as that.
Does anyone else experience this? how do I get my confessor to understand me? And finally,where do I go for the answers?
There are many catholic sites and places to ask a priest,etc. There really would not be a need for all this if we all had a resource that taught us. Deeper then the Cathecism. Maybe a book to go along with the Cathecism??
What do you all think?
Thanks for your time.