Can parental authority ever be inhibited?

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fireproofpoodle

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Hi.

I’m in a somewhat troubling situation. I am 16 and live alone with my mum, who is divorced. Tonight hr boyfriend came round but they had a row and he stormed off. I went down after y showerto find her absolutely drunk as can be. She has ordred me to go to bed, but I worry se may fall or become hurt as she can barely walk. In his situation, bearing in mid she’s not in full control of her faculties, would it be wrong for me to defy her instruction and see her safey to bed?

God bless.
 
fireproofpoodle said:
Hi.

I’m in a somewhat troubling situation. I am 16 and live alone with my mum, who is divorced. Tonight hr boyfriend came round but they had a row and he stormed off. I went down after y showerto find her absolutely drunk as can be. She has ordred me to go to bed, but I worry se may fall or become hurt as she can barely walk. In his situation, bearing in mid she’s not in full control of her faculties, would it be wrong for me to defy her instruction and see her safey to bed?

God bless.
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of course not, it is your duty. Yes parental authority can be abdicated, as she is doing. Sadly, you are in the position of having to be the adult. If she is endangering herself or others, or you, you may have to call in the authorities. If there is a counselor or someone you can speak to at school or at your parish you should ask for some guidance so you don’t have to carry this burden yourself.
 
*I agree with annie. I think that in this case, you’re not disrespecting your mom by helping her, look at it that way. :o She needs your help, she is not functioning at her best, or within her full capacity, so she needs you to step in.

I hope she is okay. *
 
If your mom is so incapacitated you need to help her, there is no parental authority there to defy. She, by getting so drunk, surrendered her free will and intellect and ability to give a binding order to you. You owe her, in charity, to make sure she’s safe. But as others said, please find a confidante or counselor to help you. You are too young to carry this burden alone.

Parental authority ends when you are ordered to do something that is immoral, sinful, illegal or unsafe. You have no obligation to follow such “orders.” Your first obligation is to God’s law. That goes for employers also. In your instance, she was jeopardizing yours and her health and safety by leaving you in a situation where she could get hurt, or the boyfriend could come back after a fight and she would be unable to look out for your safety. I hope you locked the doors, by the way.
 
kooldood said:
Everybody above me is right. I hope you and her are okay.
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She is now in bed but was drinking more alcohol, talking to the boyfriend on the phone and getting very het up. I removed the alcohol and will check on her now to see everything’s ok. Thanks.
 
*Sounds like her boyfriend is not a healthy addition to her life. :o I’m sorry that she is struggling…we’ll be praying for her, here. *
 
whatevergirl said:
*Sounds like her boyfriend is not a healthy addition to her life. :o I’m sorry that she is struggling…we’ll be praying for her, here. *
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Hmmm… perhaps. She’s still on the phone with him ad I took her lighter away - I don’t like the idea of her smoking in a flamable bed while drunk. I think she is safe now. Thanks for your prayers.
 
fireproofpoodle said:
Hi.

I’m in a somewhat troubling situation. I am 16 and live alone with my mum, who is divorced. Tonight hr boyfriend came round but they had a row and he stormed off. I went down after y showerto find her absolutely drunk as can be. She has ordred me to go to bed, but I worry se may fall or become hurt as she can barely walk. In his situation, bearing in mid she’s not in full control of her faculties, would it be wrong for me to defy her instruction and see her safey to bed?

God bless.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

Parental authority is not meant to be absolute. It’s meant to apply to reasonable and just requests made by your parents. Like if your parents ask you to help them around the house, or ask you to do your homework.

It’s not meant to apply to unreasonable demands. If your mom is drunk and tells you to go to bed and you’re worried about her, you don’t have to go to bed. There are plenty of crazy demands that parents can make that you’re not required to take seriously.
 
What others have said. Plus, I must complement you on a gutsy move by hiding or discarding the alcohol (I had to do similar when I was near your age); you have what it takes to “take charge”, and trust me, as someone who has “been there, done that”, this is most likely not the first nor last time you will need to do so.

I don’t know how often or regularly this occurs (drinking patterns can vary among alcoholics, but the fact that you seemed to have the guts to make the alcohol and lighter unavailable leads me to believe this is not an isolated incident), but if you can find a support group such as Alateen, they may be able to give you some tips as far as dealing with such situations, plus you will at least keep some sanity by knowing that you are not alone and that you are not the only one experiencing the “roller coaster” of dealing with a family member with addictions.

Also, do what you must to become independent so you can move out when you can. Stay out of trouble and keep your options open. Whether you realize it or not, you are in survival mode.

Also, keep a mental note documenting every time she gets drunk. Write it in code or a foreign language somewhere where she cannot find it or will not understand it. You may need to have all the evidence, witnesses, documentation, etc. ready should you ever need to call the authorities or arrange an intervention.

By the way, are you male or female?

Is there anyone else living at home with you? Where is your father?
 
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