Can "partner" refer to a spouse?

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PaulGH

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This poll is inspired by this thread, where I learned that in some people’s experience, it is not uncommon to hear the word “partner” used to refer to one’s husband or wife. So, the poll question is: How often have you heard this usage (i.e., “partner” referring to one’s spouse)?

(I apologize in advance if the poll is not created properly. I see no place to enter poll questions in advance of creating the topic, but only a “Yes, post a poll with this thread” checkbox that I trust will let me create a pool after I click on “Submit New Thread.”)
 
PaulGH said:
This poll is inspired by this thread, where I learned that in some people’s experience, it is not uncommon to hear the word “partner” used to refer to one’s husband or wife. So, the poll question is: How often have you heard this usage (i.e., “partner” referring to one’s spouse)?

(I apologize in advance if the poll is not created properly. I see no place to enter poll questions in advance of creating the topic, but only a “Yes, post a poll with this thread” checkbox that I trust will let me create a pool after I click on “Submit New Thread.”)
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Every once in a while I’ll hear a person refer to his or her spouse as their “partner”. The first time I ever saw it used was in a piece of writing by Marty Haugen referring to his “partner”. I did a double take because he had never mentioned his wife’s name and I didn’t really know anything about his personal life. So, I first thought he was talking about his homosexual “partner”, as that was the only time I ever heard of the term used prior to this. It was only after I looked up his bio that he was referring to his wife. Although I am now aware of the usage for heterosexual couples, it still sounds strange to me when I do hear it being used in that way.
 
i hear it all the time from all kinds of people (not one of the choices)… Am I weird?
 
I object to your dividing people into “liberal/secular” and “conservative/religious” tribes.

What about the liberal religious, or conservative irreligious?
 
Beryllos said:
I object to your dividing people into “liberal/secular” and “conservative/religious” tribes.

What about the liberal religious, or conservative irreligious?
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I agree ^ for example, my fiancé is an atheist and I’d say he is much more ‘conservative’ than I am.

Anyway when I hear ‘partner’ I tend to assume that it means the person is unmarried. Perhaps I’m wrong in the assumption. It’s something to think about.

I called my fiancé ‘partner’ (and sometimes still do, I feel awkward about the word ‘fiancé’ for some reason hehe) before we were engaged. Once married I doubt I will call him anything but husband 🙂
 
Beryllos said:
I object to your dividing people into “liberal/secular” and “conservative/religious” tribes.

What about the liberal religious, or conservative irreligious?
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Yeah I didn’t like that either. I know some conservatives that aren’t religious, at all. 🤷 It’s just typical stereotyping.

When it comes to the whole partner/spouse thing, I hate the word wife. I don’t like the way it sounds, I’m totally weird. In just the way it sounds, not the meaning behind it, I think partner sounds better. lol.
 
I think of it as a British saying, rather than one with political leaning 🙂
 
savedbygrace71 said:
I think of it as a British saying, rather than one with political leaning 🙂
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Sort of this. It basically sounds European or as a way to include both married spouses and unmarried partners without hurting anyone’s feelings.

That said, I don’t actually care about how people make these references.
 
Beryllos said:
I object to your dividing people into “liberal/secular” and “conservative/religious” tribes.

What about the liberal religious, or conservative irreligious?
Click to expand...
Then please read the choices as “liberal and/or secular” and as “conservative and/or religious.” That is what I meant, but I tried to keep the choices short and simple, because I didn’t want the poll to be unnecessarily long or complex. And I included these choices because I suspected that this usage of “partner” to mean “spouse” **might **be much more common among people who are politically/socially liberal and/or secular. (It certainly could explain why I have never heard it where I live, given that I live in a pretty conservative part of the U.S.)

Also, I’m afraid there may have been some confusion over the fourth and sixth choices in the poll. It might help if I expanded them like this:
Code: 
	 			Poll Choice #4:  I hear this usage sometimes, *from all types of people,* even from conservative/religious people.
Poll Choice #6: I hear this usage frequently, from all types of people, even from conservative/religious people.

I thought that the words in italics were clearly implied, and I was trying to keep the choices short, so I didn’t explicitly include those words. But they may not have been implied as clearly as I thought, so maybe I should have included them. I hope that this post clears up any confusion on that point.

If anyone still doesn’t see a choice in the poll that perfectly matches their experience, then please either pick the choice that comes closest, or accept my apologies for the poll’s limitations and refrain from voting. Thanks to everyone who has voted and replied.
 
I hear it very infrequently.

Really only here on this forum.

But thinking about it, I don’t think I know anyone living together, but not married. 🤷
 
Paul, I fully understand. Please be at peace and don’t worry about it. For a mini-poll, the choices as you wrote them are fine, and I am enjoying the comments.

I think we agree, it is interesting to examine how particular behaviors, like the usage of “partner,” may be correlated with one’s religion, politics, worldview, and so on. It would take a much larger and more sophisticated survey to completely sort that out. I am not suggesting that you or I should do it; such a study would be more appropriate for a research project in sociology or psychology.
 
PaulGH said:
Then please read the choices as “liberal and/or secular” and as “conservative and/or religious.” That is what I meant, but I tried to keep the choices short and simple, because I didn’t want the poll to be unnecessarily long or complex. And I included these choices because I suspected that this usage of “partner” to mean “spouse” **might **be much more common among people who are politically/socially liberal and/or secular. (It certainly could explain why I have never heard it where I live, given that I live in a pretty conservative part of the U.S.)

Also, I’m afraid there may have been some confusion over the fourth and sixth choices in the poll. It might help if I expanded them like this:
Code: 
	 			Poll Choice #4:  I hear this usage sometimes, *from all types of people,* even from conservative/religious people.
Poll Choice #6: I hear this usage frequently, from all types of people, even from conservative/religious people.

I thought that the words in italics were clearly implied, and I was trying to keep the choices short, so I didn’t explicitly include those words. But they may not have been implied as clearly as I thought, so maybe I should have included them. I hope that this post clears up any confusion on that point.

If anyone still doesn’t see a choice in the poll that perfectly matches their experience, then please either pick the choice that comes closest, or accept my apologies for the poll’s limitations and refrain from voting. Thanks to everyone who has voted and replied.
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Thanks for the explanation, Paul, it helps. As the original “girl who poked the hornets’ nest” 😛 by creating the other thread (LOL) I wanted to vote but it was difficult to pick one option. I just voted for #4. In my case, it’s been an observation over a number of years, and it has evolved into something different from what it originally was. In the 1980s, many heterosexual couples getting married felt a desire (which probably originated in the 1960s-70s) to customize aspects of their wedding and marriage.

This could range from the wording of invitations - I remember receiving invitations with this one, for example:

*This day I will marry my friend;
the one I laugh with,
live for, dream with, love.
~ author unknown *

Which back then had the effect of melting one’s heart (awwww!) until it became overused and (to me) started to seem a bit corny, apologies to those who had it on their wedding invites! :o

There were all sorts of other ways to say “This isn’t your grandma’s wedding/marriage” that couples felt a need to incorporate into their union. Things such as unity candles and for some, writing their own vows. Around that time was when I first noticed an occasional use of “partner” to mean “heterosexual spouse.” And I didn’t think anything too unusual about it then; it was the zeitgeist of those times.

At the same time, I was attending a state university and in the liberal arts, where I encountered gay and lesbian professors and occasional fellow students, and became aware of that use of the term “partner.”

Now the two occasions for use of the term seem to have merged, gained gravitational force, and attracted even more uses. Snowballed, one might say. :snowing:
 
I think we should get a mob with torches and pillory the creator of this poll! 😉 These choices are just horrendous! It’s a travesty in every sense of the word! 😛
 
Beryllos said:
I object to your dividing people into “liberal/secular” and “conservative/religious” tribes.

What about the liberal religious, or conservative irreligious?
Click to expand...
I don’t think the distinctions matter as much as age and geography. I do hear partner used for spouse occasionally - usually from younger than about 40 people. I more often hear it used to describe nonmarrieds who are a committed couple (straight and gay).
 
Never, for an actual married spouse.

Just once, for someone who wasn’t legally married.

I have heard the term “significant other” which seems to cover married or not legally married (e.g., you can come to the wedding and bring your “significant other”).
 
signit said:
I have heard the term “significant other” which seems to cover married or not legally married (e.g., you can come to the wedding and bring your “significant other”).
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Yes, that reference seems to be more common in usage, especially for heterosexual couples - married or not.
 
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