Can people change?

[Who_am_I]

My parish Priest was relating a story to my family the other day about how disappointing he was in his nieces and nephews life decisions. He concluded in stating that we should never expect anyone to change. People don’t change. They are who they are and we can’t force any kind of change upon them.
I felt as though he was speaking especially to me. My boyfriend claims he is an agnostic (he was born Catholic) and it disturbs me a lot. I love him so much and he is the nicest man, but he is not a Catholic.
I am a traditional Catholic and have always longed to have a Traditional Catholic Family with a God loving husband. I cannot help that I love this man. I have tried not to love him. How can I accept that he will never change? I feel like Jesus would not want us to believe that. How can we believe that no one can turn around and come to the faith? How would that be evangelizing? Shouldn’t we expect change through God’s goodness?

please help.

 

[flyingfish]

My parish Priest was relating a story to my family the other day about how disappointing he was in his nieces and nephews life decisions. He concluded in stating that we should never expect anyone to change. People don’t change. They are who they are and we can’t force any kind of change upon them.
I felt as though he was speaking especially to me. My boyfriend claims he is an agnostic (he was born Catholic) and it disturbs me a lot. I love him so much and he is the nicest man, but he is not a Catholic.
I am a traditional Catholic and have always longed to have a Traditional Catholic Family with a God loving husband. I cannot help that I love this man. I have tried not to love him. How can I accept that he will never change? I feel like Jesus would not want us to believe that. How can we believe that no one can turn around and come to the faith? How would that be evangelizing? Shouldn’t we expect change through God’s goodness?

please help.

Of course people can change, and your boyfriend may one day decide to become Catholic again.

I think the point your priest was making is that you shouldn’t expect someone to change the way you want, and you shouldn’t count on it, and you shouldn’t plan your life around it, and you shouldn’t try to force that person to change.

 

[1ke]

If you want your family to center on the faith, marry someone for whom the faith is the center of their life.

Do not go into a marriage hoping someone will change. Do not go into a marriage saying you can’t “help” but love this person, that is not true. Love is a choice, an act of your will. If you choose to marry someone who has no faith in God, you will have a marriage that has no foundation in God.

If that is your choice, that is fine. It’s your choice, and you know the score right now. You can choose to make the compromises necessary to marry him. You can choose to love him and override your desire for a Catholic family and home.

But, don’t be surprised or disillusioned when he does not change, and you are going to church alone and possibly having arguments about how to raise the children. Is it possible for someone to change? Of course. And, being baptized, this man has grace available to him to help him if he stops actively resisting it. But, his free will is in operation. Yes, he can change. Yes, God wants him to come to faith. The point is, no one can do it for him, and going into a relationship with the idea you can change someone or hoping they change is a dangerous prospect.

 

[rpp]

1ke’s words are, as usual, wise and well thought out. i will echo that it is a common mistake that women make believing they can change their man. Do not fall for this trap.

For my part, I would not dream to suggest what you should do or how your should proceed. What I will is to ask some questions.

Do you find his lack of faith frustrating? If he does not change, and it is possible he may
(I was a dedicated atheist my entire adult life. Then in 2003 I had a sudden conversion experience and now I am a devoted Catholic.)

What impact do you think an agnostic father would have on the spiritual development of any children you may have?

Do you think a lack of family prayer time will affect any children you may have in a positive or negative way?

How will his lack of faith support you during the inevitable times when you experience spiritual aridity?

How will his lack of involvement in parish life affect your ability to engage in important activities such pro-life efforts and other parish volunteer efforts.

Do you think a non-believer will follow the Church teachings on contraception?

These are just some of the things you should consider. I am not telling or suggesting that you do anything except to ponder these questions.

 

[Who_am_I]

1ke’s words are, as usual, wise and well thought out. i will echo that it is a common mistake that women make believing they can change their man. Do not fall for this trap.

For my part, I would not dream to suggest what you should do or how your should proceed. What I will is to ask some questions.

Do you find his lack of faith frustrating? If he does not change, and it is possible he may
(I was a dedicated atheist my entire adult life. Then in 2003 I had a sudden conversion experience and now I am a devoted Catholic.)

What impact do you think an agnostic father would have on the spiritual development of any children you may have?

Do you think a lack of family prayer time will affect any children you may have in a positive or negative way?

How will his lack of faith support you during the inevitable times when you experience spiritual aridity?

How will his lack of involvement in parish life affect your ability to engage in important activities such pro-life efforts and other parish volunteer efforts.

Do you think a non-believer will follow the Church teachings on contraception?

These are just some of the things you should consider. I am not telling or suggesting that you do anything except to ponder these questions.

Yes I understand everything 1ke is saying, and I agree for the most part as well. In answer to your questions I would like to say that he has in fact changed in numerous ways. He does not use profanity anymore, he has changed other bad habits as well. He comes to Church with me every sunday, and when he is at my house he participates willingly in saying our daily Rosary. He always asks questions about my faith that lead me to believe he is interested in learning more. Yet at the same time he states that he does not agree with “x” and “y” about the Catholic faith. This is mostly due to improper upbringing given to him by his “Catholic” (haha.) parents. He left for school (college) today and asked if he could bring one of our Rosary’s with him, and asked if we would continue to pray for him. I see all these things as potential…isn’t it? I don’t know what to do sometimes…if I should hold on and see if things will continue to get better…or go after something else I might be missing - that might be truer to what I want. I am happy with him, and thankful to God everyday for making the changes in my boyfriends life. His faith has grown in tiny tiny amounts, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.
Thanks so much for the advice! Right now I’m guessing the only thing I can do is pray and keep constant watch over my future.

<3

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Yes, those are signs of a person who is questioning about his faith. A person who will attend Mass every week and participate in saying the rosary is not the same as one who belittles your faith or will not participate at all. Continue to pray for your boyfriend. Ask Our Lady whose rosary he has to intercede for him also.

Sine you are both still in school and have not yet made any official plans to marry, I would say that there is room for hope. However, do guard your heart with him until you see even more positive signs that he is coming back to his faith.

Yes I understand everything 1ke is saying, and I agree for the most part as well. In answer to your questions I would like to say that he has in fact changed in numerous ways. He does not use profanity anymore, he has changed other bad habits as well. He comes to Church with me every sunday, and when he is at my house he participates willingly in saying our daily Rosary. He always asks questions about my faith that lead me to believe he is interested in learning more. Yet at the same time he states that he does not agree with “x” and “y” about the Catholic faith. This is mostly due to improper upbringing given to him by his “Catholic” (haha.) parents. He left for school (college) today and asked if he could bring one of our Rosary’s with him, and asked if we would continue to pray for him. I see all these things as potential…isn’t it? I don’t know what to do sometimes…if I should hold on and see if things will continue to get better…or go after something else I might be missing - that might be truer to what I want. I am happy with him, and thankful to God everyday for making the changes in my boyfriends life. His faith has grown in tiny tiny amounts, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.
Thanks so much for the advice! Right now I’m guessing the only thing I can do is pray and keep constant watch over my future.

<3

 

[flyingfish]

Yes I understand everything 1ke is saying, and I agree for the most part as well. In answer to your questions I would like to say that he has in fact changed in numerous ways. He does not use profanity anymore, he has changed other bad habits as well. He comes to Church with me every sunday, and when he is at my house he participates willingly in saying our daily Rosary. He always asks questions about my faith that lead me to believe he is interested in learning more. Yet at the same time he states that he does not agree with “x” and “y” about the Catholic faith. This is mostly due to improper upbringing given to him by his “Catholic” (haha.) parents. He left for school (college) today and asked if he could bring one of our Rosary’s with him, and asked if we would continue to pray for him. I see all these things as potential…isn’t it? I don’t know what to do sometimes…if I should hold on and see if things will continue to get better…or go after something else I might be missing - that might be truer to what I want. I am happy with him, and thankful to God everyday for making the changes in my boyfriends life. His faith has grown in tiny tiny amounts, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.
Thanks so much for the advice! Right now I’m guessing the only thing I can do is pray and keep constant watch over my future.

<3

It sounds like this man is more Catholic than most Catholics. He goes to Mass every week and says the Rosary every day with you?

You have to realize that it would be extremely unlikely for you to find a Catholic man who will do these things. Most people who say they are Catholic don’t attend Mass every week, and I would guess fewer still pray the Rosary!

Here you have a man who does these things with you, who is a good man, who loves you, and whom you love. Why are you still having doubts?

Even if he doesn’t convert he is already living the Catholic life, more than can be said for most Catholics.

It’s a sad truth, but I can count on my hand the number of young men I’ve seen in Church on Sunday. From my experience (so take it with a grain of salt, as it might not represent every parish), the overwhelming majority of people in Church are middle-aged women. There are men too to be sure, but they tend to be old and married.

The chances of you finding a young man who goes to Church are very small to begin with, then add to that him being a man you’re attracted to and want to spend your life with.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Flyingfish, you are giving her dangerous advice.

She will read what you wrote and hear “he’s better than most Catholics. Grab him! Make a life with him. Nothing better will come along.”

NEVER fall in love with someone’s potential.

I made the mistake of talking myself into a non-Catholic who converted in name only. I told myself exactly what FlyingFish said. He’s “more Catholic” than a lot of the Catholic guys.

No. He really wasn’t.

This boyfriend of yours is a work in progress. Encourage him. Watch him from a distance. Do not make him the bedrock upon which you build your own life, family and future. Not yet. He’s not solid.

It’s better never to marry than to build so much that is so important on something that isn’t stable.

Yes, the churches are full of middle-aged women. They’re all praying for their teenage children who don’t go, I’d bet. Seems a lot of young Catholic men don’t go to Mass. But some of them will mature and grow up and realize the value of it and may return. If I had to do it over again, I would have held out for one of those than talk myself into lowering my standards for someone who only converted to “please me” and when he no longer wished to please me he dropped it all. And now is undermining the faith of my children.

Do not ever marry anyone whom you would not trust to bring up your children in the faith if something happened to you.

As others said, guard your heart. Be an example to this person. Now is the time for him to get his relationship with God straight. Never try to create a family with a man who has not figured out the role of God in the hierarchy of his own values. You’ll regret it. I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it.

Grow in your own faith. Pray for him. Set an example. But allow time to work. And allow for the possibility someone better may come along for you.

And listen to the wise priest. People sadly don’t really change. Unless they completely open their hearts to God. Completely.

Good luck with school. Concentrate on your own spiritual growth. Now is the time for YOU to be finding out who you are, not busying yourself with helping someone else discover himself. Don’t marry until you can call yourself “I know who I am.”

 

[paul_c]

Yes I understand everything 1ke is saying, and I agree for the most part as well. In answer to your questions I would like to say that he has in fact changed in numerous ways. He does not use profanity anymore, he has changed other bad habits as well. He comes to Church with me every sunday, and when he is at my house he participates willingly in saying our daily Rosary. He always asks questions about my faith that lead me to believe he is interested in learning more. Yet at the same time he states that he does not agree with “x” and “y” about the Catholic faith. This is mostly due to improper upbringing given to him by his “Catholic” (haha.) parents. He left for school (college) today and asked if he could bring one of our Rosary’s with him, and asked if we would continue to pray for him. I see all these things as potential…isn’t it? I don’t know what to do sometimes…if I should hold on and see if things will continue to get better…or go after something else I might be missing - that might be truer to what I want. I am happy with him, and thankful to God everyday for making the changes in my boyfriends life. His faith has grown in tiny tiny amounts, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.
Thanks so much for the advice! Right now I’m guessing the only thing I can do is pray and keep constant watch over my future.

<3

If your boyfriend is college age, he is a work in progress, as are all people of this age. Be patient and see how he turns out. You should be in no rush to get married at this age. You have time. And while you can’t expect to change anyone, you can be a positive influence in both words and actions. The fact that he is willing to pray the rosary and go to mass should be certainly seen as good signs.

 

[flyingfish]

Flyingfish, you are giving her dangerous advice.

She will read what you wrote and hear “he’s better than most Catholics. Grab him! Make a life with him. Nothing better will come along.”

NEVER fall in love with someone’s potential.

I made the mistake of talking myself into a non-Catholic who converted in name only. I told myself exactly what FlyingFish said. He’s “more Catholic” than a lot of the Catholic guys.

No. He really wasn’t.

This boyfriend of yours is a work in progress. Encourage him. Watch him from a distance. Do not make him the bedrock upon which you build your own life, family and future. Not yet. He’s not solid.

It’s better never to marry than to build so much that is so important on something that isn’t stable.

Yes, the churches are full of middle-aged women. They’re all praying for their teenage children who don’t go, I’d bet. Seems a lot of young Catholic men don’t go to Mass. But some of them will mature and grow up and realize the value of it and may return. If I had to do it over again, I would have held out for one of those than talk myself into lowering my standards for someone who only converted to “please me” and when he no longer wished to please me he dropped it all. And now is undermining the faith of my children.

Do not ever marry anyone whom you would not trust to bring up your children in the faith if something happened to you.

As others said, guard your heart. Be an example to this person. Now is the time for him to get his relationship with God straight. Never try to create a family with a man who has not figured out the role of God in the hierarchy of his own values. You’ll regret it. I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it.

Grow in your own faith. Pray for him. Set an example. But allow time to work. And allow for the possibility someone better may come along for you.

And listen to the wise priest. People sadly don’t really change. Unless they completely open their hearts to God. Completely.

Good luck with school. Concentrate on your own spiritual growth. Now is the time for YOU to be finding out who you are, not busying yourself with helping someone else discover himself. Don’t marry until you can call yourself “I know who I am.”

Isn’t the ex-husband you’re talking about the abusive narcissist? If so I think you may be biased here.

It is possible to have a happy marriage with someone who doesn’t share your faith, even if they don’t participate in the faith. This guy actually goes to Church with her every Sunday and prays the Rosary. She can share her spiritual journey with him.

You can talk about “what-ifs” (like what if she dies and he fails to raise the children Catholic), but those what-ifs would always be present. I mean, what if she finds a Catholic man who later becomes an atheist or a Muslim or simply a cafeteria Catholic who doesn’t really take the faith seriously? Unless she has a terminal illness or something like that I don’t think “what if I die” is worth considering. I would bet that the probability of a faithful Catholic straying from the Church is higher than a healthy young woman dying before she can teach the faith to her children.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

No, this isn’t about my ex, though he’s always good for a teachable moment.

Too many other posts on CAF from differently-yoked couples and the problems it causes. Love does not conquer all. Though it sounds great when you’re young and in a new relationship.

Life happens. Family intervenes. You get married and realize how strong a hold someone’s upbringing really has on them no matter what they claimed or protested before. Couples with differing religious faiths who didn’t think it mattered so much marry and then realize it DOES matter when the first child arrives.

Half of newly married couples can expect to divorce statistically speaking. Then you have someone who isn’t even your spouse with a direct (name removed by moderator)ut on your child’s religious upbringing. No, you don’t have to be dead to have to worry about that. Though I have met more than my sad share of women who died of breast cancer or in car accidents leaving husbands to raise children alone.

She said he doesn’t agree with Catholic teaching on certain subjects. Already that’s a problem.

I just suggested she wait and not give up on the Catholic guys who have wandered off temporarily, but maybe will come back stronger.

 

[AdriannaJean]

Just to point out the obvious here, the very basis of Christianity is that Christ changes people. Through Christ anything is possible and we can and should expect people to change for the better.

That being said I would NOT marry this man unless he changes his mind. I’ve been in the same boat before and I have had to end it. It hurts for a few months but I promise you that you will get over it. And hurting for a few months and finding someone you can happily share your life with is much better than hurting for the rest of your life in a marriage that does not have Christ at the center.

 

[paul_c]

Just to point out the obvious here, the very basis of Christianity is that Christ changes people. Through Christ anything is possible and we can and should expect people to change for the better.

That being said I would NOT marry this man unless he changes his mind. I’ve been in the same boat before and I have had to end it. It hurts for a few months but I promise you that you will get over it. And hurting for a few months and finding someone you can happily share your life with is much better than hurting for the rest of your life in a marriage that does not have Christ at the center.

These two are not even out of college yet. There is plenty of time to figure things out.

 

[Who_am_I]

wow! Thanks so much for all of the responses! I am reading everything and taking in all of the advice. I know we are young, and I’m not ready to settle down yet, but all of this advice is really helpful to me. I can use it for future relationships as well.

This site is the best! I can finally post something without being bombarded by intolerable people!..

 

[Norseman82]

My parish Priest was relating a story to my family the other day about how disappointing he was in his nieces and nephews life decisions. He concluded in stating that we should never expect anyone to change. People don’t change. They are who they are and we can’t force any kind of change upon them.
I felt as though he was speaking especially to me. My boyfriend claims he is an agnostic (he was born Catholic) and it disturbs me a lot. I love him so much and he is the nicest man, but he is not a Catholic.
I am a traditional Catholic and have always longed to have a Traditional Catholic Family with a God loving husband. I cannot help that I love this man. I have tried not to love him. How can I accept that he will never change? I feel like Jesus would not want us to believe that. How can we believe that no one can turn around and come to the faith? How would that be evangelizing? Shouldn’t we expect change through God’s goodness?

please help.

I am going to be blunt here. Please take it as a thought-provoking challenge rather than an insult.

You need to bring your HEAD into this and listen to what 1ke and liberanosamalo are saying.

Also, St. Paul in 2 Cor.6:14 warns against being unequally yoked with a nonbeliever.

Question: are there no practicing Catholic guys out there to date that you have to resort to someone who is not? As a practicing Catholic male (although older, I did NOT wander off in my college years) I would be very insulted to lose out to someone who is not. Please realize the disservice you are doing to the practicing Catholic males out there.

 

[rpp]

No, this isn’t about my ex, though he’s always good for a teachable moment.

Too many other posts on CAF from differently-yoked couples and the problems it causes. Love does not conquer all. Though it sounds great when you’re young and in a new relationship.

Life happens. Family intervenes. You get married and realize how strong a hold someone’s upbringing really has on them no matter what they claimed or protested before. Couples with differing religious faiths who didn’t think it mattered so much marry and then realize it DOES matter when the first child arrives.

Half of newly married couples can expect to divorce statistically speaking. Then you have someone who isn’t even your spouse with a direct (name removed by moderator)ut on your child’s religious upbringing. No, you don’t have to be dead to have to worry about that. Though I have met more than my sad share of women who died of breast cancer or in car accidents leaving husbands to raise children alone.

She said he doesn’t agree with Catholic teaching on certain subjects. Already that’s a problem.

I just suggested she wait and not give up on the Catholic guys who have wandered off temporarily, but maybe will come back stronger.

I have got to side with Liberanosamalo here (I love that member name! ) Marriage is not like choosing what to have for lunch or where to go on vacation. It is, first and foremost, a sacrament which we must realize requires a lifetime commitment. For people to live up to that commitment, they need to moving in the same direction, headed for the same destination, on the same road and moving at more or less the same speed.

 

[flyingfish]

No, this isn’t about my ex, though he’s always good for a teachable moment.

Too many other posts on CAF from differently-yoked couples and the problems it causes. Love does not conquer all. Though it sounds great when you’re young and in a new relationship.

Life happens. Family intervenes. You get married and realize how strong a hold someone’s upbringing really has on them no matter what they claimed or protested before. Couples with differing religious faiths who didn’t think it mattered so much marry and then realize it DOES matter when the first child arrives.

Half of newly married couples can expect to divorce statistically speaking. Then you have someone who isn’t even your spouse with a direct (name removed by moderator)ut on your child’s religious upbringing. No, you don’t have to be dead to have to worry about that. Though I have met more than my sad share of women who died of breast cancer or in car accidents leaving husbands to raise children alone.

She said he doesn’t agree with Catholic teaching on certain subjects. Already that’s a problem.

I just suggested she wait and not give up on the Catholic guys who have wandered off temporarily, but maybe will come back stronger.

I just think it would be sad if this guy is perfect for her in every way except having the same faith and she leaves him.

In the end she’ll have to spend a lot of time with her husband, better that they enjoy each other’s company, are attracted to each other, care for each other than share the same faith. I don’t think many people are going to agree with me, but in my opinion these things are more important for a lasting marriage. If you don’t enjoy the person you’re with, it doesn’t really matter if they share your beliefs or not, you’re going to want to be their friend not their wife.

To be sure there are other men out there, but when I was in college I met plenty of men and in the whole time only 3 were faithful Catholics (and 2 of them were completely unattractive). The others who were Catholic didn’t follow the faith, and others simply weren’t Catholic at all. Statistically younger people are losing their faith, and very few follow the more conservative beliefs of the faith.

Just think about it, how likely is it that she’ll find a man who’ll agree not to use artificial birth control (even if he is Catholic, over 90% of Catholics use ABC)?

 

[paul_c]

I just think it would be sad if this guy is perfect for her in every way except having the same faith and she leaves him.

In the end she’ll have to spend a lot of time with her husband, better that they enjoy each other’s company, are attracted to each other, care for each other than share the same faith. I don’t think many people are going to agree with me, but in my opinion these things are more important for a lasting marriage. If you don’t enjoy the person you’re with, it doesn’t really matter if they share your beliefs or not, you’re going to want to be their friend not their wife.

To be sure there are other men out there, but when I was in college I met plenty of men and in the whole time only 3 were faithful Catholics (and 2 of them were completely unattractive). The others who were Catholic didn’t follow the faith, and others simply weren’t Catholic at all. Statistically younger people are losing their faith, and very few follow the more conservative beliefs of the faith.

Just think about it, how likely is it that she’ll find a man who’ll agree not to use artificial birth control (even if he is Catholic, over 90% of Catholics use ABC)?

I think we are making way too much of this. They are just out of high school. They will change in countless ways as they mature. The chances that their relationship will survive to marriage at this age is relatively remote, even without the question of faith. If they do survive to get married, it will be because they grow together and that will include their faith. Time will sort this out.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Well, this is important because even if it’s not about this couple in particular, it’s about a decision making process that has tremendous implications for individuals, the Church and society. How we go about choosing mates for life is NOT unimportant.

I just think it would be sad if this guy is perfect for her in every way except having the same faith and she leaves him.

I had a husband who was “perfect for me in every way” except that faith thing. (And other things as I found out later… appearances are so deceptive.)

Does it matter now when I am driving my daughters somewhere and I pass a landmark and make a comment and they all laugh because my xh says the same thing when he passes it?

Does it matter now that we both once agreed who was a jerk politically and who wasn’t?

Does it matter that he keeps his car clean like I do? Or that we shared the same taste in music?

Every once in a while my children get a glimpse of the little indications of why I thought we were so perfect for each other. It was all window dressing.

When it came down to it, and life tested him, he walked away from his family. Numerous times. His faith meant nothing. It did not guide his actions. He destroyed everything important to us. He ignored his obligations to his children. He was cruel. He undermined their faith to a scandalous degree.

He isn’t finished with his reign of terror either.

He just kicked his elderly mother out on the street and she moved. Now my children have no adult supervision there.

Does it really matter that we both liked the same style furniture and were interested in the same work fields?

When you are in college, you don’t even know what is perfect for you yet. You have to decide who you are before you can figure out who you can make a life with.

 

[flyingfish]

Well, this is important because even if it’s not about this couple in particular, it’s about a decision making process that has tremendous implications for individuals, the Church and society. How we go about choosing mates for life is NOT unimportant.

I had a husband who was “perfect for me in every way” except that faith thing. (And other things as I found out later… appearances are so deceptive.)

Does it matter now when I am driving my daughters somewhere and I pass a landmark and make a comment and they all laugh because my xh says the same thing when he passes it?

Does it matter now that we both once agreed who was a jerk politically and who wasn’t?

Does it matter that he keeps his car clean like I do? Or that we shared the same taste in music?

Every once in a while my children get a glimpse of the little indications of why I thought we were so perfect for each other. It was all window dressing.

When it came down to it, and life tested him, he walked away from his family. Numerous times. His faith meant nothing. It did not guide his actions. He destroyed everything important to us. He ignored his obligations to his children. He was cruel. He undermined their faith to a scandalous degree.

He isn’t finished with his reign of terror either.

He just kicked his elderly mother out on the street and she moved. Now my children have no adult supervision there.

Does it really matter that we both liked the same style furniture and were interested in the same work fields?

When you are in college, you don’t even know what is perfect for you yet. You have to decide who you are before you can figure out who you can make a life with.

From this and other posts (in different threads) about your ex, it’s clear that he is rotten inside.

I don’t think that kind of trait has anything to do with a person’s faith. There are atheists who are good people, there are Catholics who beat their wives.

Some people who are like this are mentally ill and can’t help themselves, others have brains that work differently in that they are incapable of empathy, others were abused as children and their mental development was messed up. These people can still believe that the Catholic Church is the true faith. Look at all the religious people in prisons, being religious doesn’t save you from being a dirtbag, a criminal, and otherwise evil.

I can’t really tell you why some people harm others and do evil while others live wholesome moral lives. But I can tell you that I know plenty of non-Catholics who are upstanding individuals.