Can priests force you to receive Communion?

[missmae27]

I hadn’t gone to confession and wasn’t ready to receive Communion, so I crossed my arms over my chest so I could get a blessing. But instead of a prayer, the priest “forced” me to take the host. (I think anyone will feel that they didn’t have a choice but to take it if the priest still gives you one despite the crossed arms that should signify that I am just asking for his blessing.) I was in shock so I started walking away (arms still crossed) when I heard the priest muttering “Amen” under his breath – his way of letting me know that I didn’t properly respond. I silently went back to my seat, but it bothered me when my friend asked me what I did that caused the priest to give me a “dirty look.” I know that I can receive Communion even if I am not in a state of grace if I have the intention to go to confession. I also know that priests are also human and I can’t expect them to be perfect. But I am angry because I think my choice not to take the host wasn’t respected and I feel reprimanded. Can priests do this?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

While your feelings are entirely understandable and it does seem that the priest did act somewhat abrasively, please keep in mind that not every priest understands the “arms crossed over the chest” gesture. It’s not a universal sign mandated by the Church for asking for a blessing instead of Communion; and, in fact, laity asking for a blessing in the Communion line is not entirely appropriate either. It is a tolerated local custom, and in some places may either not be allowed or be unknown. It is far more common in the universal Church for laity who cannot or do not receive Communion to remain in their seat, pray for spiritual communion with God and neighbor, and then receive the blessing given the congregation at the end of Mass. If you want to entirely avoid the possibility of a future misunderstanding like this, I recommend to you this alternate course.

As for what should have been done in the moment: The priest should not have attempted to give you Communion if neither your hands or tongue were extended to receive it. But rather than accept it when you felt you could not receive it, you could have shook your head and said quietly, “Please bless me, Father.” I would hope that request would be honored even if blessing laity in the Communion line ordinarily is not done in that parish, but if the priest whispers back, “Sorry, we don’t do that here,” then nod and move on. The priest cannot give you Communion if you do not accept it, and it is unlikely that he will choose to drop the host on the floor if you refuse Communion politely.