If homosexuality is a sin, why can’t I get rid of it? Why do I have to suffer and feel different? Why do I feel like God has left me alone by myself to deal with this? I am being tempted by society to make me think that it’s okay to be gay, but I always feel like it’s not. Why doesn’t God help me go through this? Even if I can’t “turn gay”; why can’t He help me stop the attraction? It’s not fair to be different, not fair that sometimes you may think suicide is the last and only option.
In need of help.
God bless.
Greetings,
Homosexual acts are a sin, and your inclination towards them and all sin for that matter is a result of your fallen nature. You cannot get rid of it yourself because you my friend are not the source of your own salvation and happiness. You have to suffer because Adam and Eve by their actions chose this state for us and because Christ who had no sin suffered to redeem us. Suffering contrary to popular belief is not a bad thing. In fact suffering is neither good nor bad, but is rather, wasted or useful; and when offered in union with Christ it is always useful. But there is another truth that usually escapes us and that is suffering proves love. Every time you suffer for God you prove your love for Him and this is because no one suffers for those they do not love. Yet there is another truth you show by suffering for love and that is love always requires a sacrifice.
Don’t be surprised the spirit of the world forces this belief on to you that sin is ok. It does this to everyone who follows the will of God. They say homosexual acts are ok, casual sex between persons of any sexuality is ok, porn is ok, masturbation is ok, laxed morality is ok, indifference to truth is ok, divorce is ok, and etc. The spirit of the world does this because it is trying to draw your love away. It wants you to sacrifice yourself for it and it promises “pleasures” to be the cure to the emptiness you feel. The spirit of the world wants you to give all of your love to it becuase it knows we either love completely and 100% or we do not truly love at all. It wants you to forget that before any resurrection there has to be a death and crucifixion. As Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen stated: “Never forget that there are only two philosophies to rule your life: the one of the cross, which starts with the fast and ends with the feast. The other of Satan, which starts with the feast and ends with the headache.”
And this truth is a light in this dark world! The other choice we have in this life is to love God 100% and to sacrifice ourselves for Him and unlike the world He can make us whole because He created us! He shows us the correct view to take towards pleasures and the proper use of them. He shows us how to love others as He loves us and this completes us more than any self-indulgence in carnal pleasures could ever do. God does help you but he will not give you “cures” that do not help you root out your defects which are obstacles to your relationship with Him.
When I was first coming back to the faith and fighting impurity (and still fighting) I used to pray to God to cure me. Yet one day after prayer and God’s grace I saw that this cure I wanted was one that would not help me because it would not deal with the root issue which is my pride and my ego. No in fact it was my ego which was asking God for a cure that would allow it to exist; my ego was trying to rationalize a way to survive by masking itself under the pretext of something “good”. Yet God does not want this because it is my ego which is the obstical to our relationship and the hard truth was God wants to cure me but not in a way that does not really cure me. When I look back I see plenty of times were I chose my will over His and instead of taking His lite cross, I rebelled and in doing so fashioned a cross that is so heavy it keeps my face to the floor and no help will come until I admit I’m the cause of my own pain and put my hand in the air for help. And I was given the grace to notice that it was the small things that lead me to this cross of impurity. Things like being disobedient to my parents, rude to my family, selfish in my meals, and etc… All these small things paved the way to my bigger issues like impurity, gluttony, pride, anger, sloth, and well pretty much all of the seven deadly sins.
And in all this God has not abandoned me. He is right here beside me, waiting for me to turn to Him and to accept His method of healing not mine. He calls me to offer up my expectations of how things should be and to accept His outlook and His will. To look at my cross and not say; “how long O Lord” but rather “however long O Lord”. Its hard to see His ways because God is very humble and we are full of pride. We miss that fact that He does not compete with distractions but rather He whispers His decrees and directions. In order to hear Him we must pray for humility. We must make time and retire from the distractions of this world like tv, internet, ipods/ipads, and to kneel and pray in silence We must be quite and listen in silence. These steps along with frequent reception of the sacraments are the ways in which we increase our ability to see His hand in all things and to love Him and His will.
Keep fighting the good fight, knowing that going the opposite direction is just filled with more and more sadness. Take it from someone who has been there and continues to fight to never go back.
God bless and please pray for me.
