Can somebody help me?

[JDGaney]

Hi. I posted something about this before, but I have OCD and would like to be reassured.

I spent several months trying to prove God’s existence, and after that, I became involved in doctrinal pursuits. This also meant I was opened to the world of Fundamentalist Christianity, namely Jesus-is-savior.com and CAnswersTV. One of my best friends is an evangelical and he would ask me: where is purgatory in the bible? Etc. I spoke with him about Marian apparitions and saintly miracles, and he said an honest truth: if its not God it’s probably the devil.
I started to wonder about devilish tricks and I wondered if satan was behind everything ad that Jesus was a trick, and I panicked, becAuse carm said that to do such a thing was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, unforgivable. I get compulsions to call satan lord and pray to him, in the sense that God would not say yes to me and the devil would. Te more I tried beating this via prayers I learned in Catholicism, I wanted to check with bible Christians to see if it was okay, and I always felt like I was wrong.
Now I was also struggling with my sexuality, while I deep down inside still had feelings for girls, and I had OCD in the sense I was trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was gay, and felt gay. Despite my feelings I never felt any urge to have sex or pleasure myself. But I despaired so much and said you know what? Take it, satan! Give me my heterosexuality back. And what’d ya know? It returned.
But I later wanted to repent. I had no idea where to run. I felt with conviction in my heart in high school that the Catholic Church was the church, ad I sought to prove it right. But Dave Hunt and company caused me to think I was wrong. Despite listening to lectures by Steve Ray, Scott Hahn, jimmy Akin, and Tim Staples, further proving Catholicism, instill felt like I was in a satanic system.
I keep manipulating myself into thinking I’m praying to satan. I’m saying the creed? I’m saying it to satan. Our father? I’m praying with satan!

What do I do? My priest told me to live an active Christian lifestyle by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. my compulsions still exist and I worry that when I flirt with a girl I am damning myself.

 

[RoseMary131]

Yes, somebody can help you.

Why did you post the same question a minute apart on two threads?

You have a lot of “threads” in your one message.

Your best help will come from a spiritual director and a therapist or doctor who can help with your OCD.

They most likely will want to work one area at a time.

May God lead you to somebody who can be your spiritual director and to seek help from the medical community.

 

[Steveabrous]

My youngest son has OCD. and this sounds like the stuff he would say. So I’ll tell you what I tell him.

If you like girls your not gay, if the idea of being gay makes you sad because you can’t be with girls your not gay.
You’re not praying to Satan unless you mean to pray to Satan. And if you have to ask yourself “Did I mean to pray to Satan” your not praying to Satan.
Your mind lacks a filter to remove unpleasant thoughts. What you have is called Religiousity which is when your OCD takes a religious nature. You know this will pass

You should also see a Catholic psychologist for proven coping techniques AND FOLLOW THEM!

 

[virginknitter]

Some suggestions: Your problems seem similar to people who suffer from scrupulosity. There is a scrupulosity forum here. Might help. . You might benefit from a Spiritual Director or a counselor who is experienced in dealing with your kind of problems. The answer to your distress is to trust God. Here is an exercise to try. Create a list of the healings in the Gospel. Once a week pick out one and meditate on it daily Meditate by substituting yourself in place of the person needing healing. Imagine Christ is addressing you by your name and that everything he is saying he is saying to you. Go to confession once a month and obey the priest. Go to Mass as often as you can, trusting that God wants to heal you. When disturbing thoughts enter your mind say, “Jesus, I place my trust in you. Never let me become confounded or confused.” Pick out a Saint that you find comforting and pray for his/her intercession. YOUR PRIEST GAVE YOU GOOD ADVICE. . You can learn to trust God by practicing trusting him. By obeying him and being humble and patient you are preparing your heart for a healing. Even though you are suffering you can still be Christ to others by feeding the hungry and clothing the naked.

 

[onceablasphemer]

Hi. I posted something about this before, but I have OCD and would like to be reassured.

I spent several months trying to prove God’s existence, and after that, I became involved in doctrinal pursuits. This also meant I was opened to the world of Fundamentalist Christianity, namely Jesus-is-savior.com and CAnswersTV. One of my best friends is an evangelical and he would ask me: where is purgatory in the bible? Etc. I spoke with him about Marian apparitions and saintly miracles, and he said an honest truth: if its not God it’s probably the devil.
I started to wonder about devilish tricks and I wondered if satan was behind everything ad that Jesus was a trick, and I panicked, becAuse carm said that to do such a thing was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, unforgivable. I get compulsions to call satan lord and pray to him, in the sense that God would not say yes to me and the devil would. Te more I tried beating this via prayers I learned in Catholicism, I wanted to check with bible Christians to see if it was okay, and I always felt like I was wrong.
Now I was also struggling with my sexuality, while I deep down inside still had feelings for girls, and I had OCD in the sense I was trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was gay, and felt gay. Despite my feelings I never felt any urge to have sex or pleasure myself. But I despaired so much and said you know what? Take it, satan! Give me my heterosexuality back. And what’d ya know? It returned.
But I later wanted to repent. I had no idea where to run. I felt with conviction in my heart in high school that the Catholic Church was the church, ad I sought to prove it right. But Dave Hunt and company caused me to think I was wrong. Despite listening to lectures by Steve Ray, Scott Hahn, jimmy Akin, and Tim Staples, further proving Catholicism, instill felt like I was in a satanic system.
I keep manipulating myself into thinking I’m praying to satan. I’m saying the creed? I’m saying it to satan. Our father? I’m praying with satan!

What do I do? My priest told me to live an active Christian lifestyle by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. my compulsions still exist and I worry that when I flirt with a girl I am damning myself.

Have you sought help from the medical community? It sounds like you are suffering greatly from OCD. I would stay away from websites like Jesus-is-Savior.com. While it has some good information, there is much there that attacks the Catholic Church. In regards to your friend, who is he to say that the Marian apparitions are from the devil? Ask him why satan would want to lead people to Jesus. Every approved apparition calls for repentance and trust in the sacraments. Even Jesus dismisses this when He refutes those who claim He is expelling demons by the power of satan. You are not praying to satan when you say the Our Father or the Creed. Stay away from the “fundamentalists” and “evangelical” Christian groups. They do not know what they are talking about. Sure, they know their shortened version of the Bible better than most Catholics, but that does not make them scholars. Most of them have rehearsed verses that, taken out context, justify their skewed view on salvation. The fullness of truth is in the Catholic Church. Why would we need to pray for the dead if they are already in Heaven or Hell? Purgatory is real.

Personally, I think you need a good psychologist. I do not mean to brush you off but there can be great help from the medical community. Find a good Catholic psychologist in your area. You are in my prayers.

 

[ThinkTwice]

I was a vegetarian for many years but when I started eating meat again I noticed some compulsiveness return that I never realized I had before. So I suggest a trying a veggie diet.

 

[DorthyBlueBird]

Some people suggest that staying away from refined sugars and white flour can help with compulsions. I know if I hit the caffeine it makes everything worse, including panic.
You don’t necessarily have to become vegetarian, but cutting down (or out!) on the sugars, white bread, pasta and stimulants really does help.

I also have scrupulosity. When it comes to religious compulsions and you are on the web, go to rcspiritualdirection.com/. You will find a good guide to getting spiritual direction, and good advice to hold you until then. Frankly it is one of the few Catholic sites I’ve found where it is completely safe to read the comment boxes.

However, when you go to some other places… even here, or Jimmy’s Akin’s site, or Fr Z’s site, reading the comment boxes can be harmful, especially when you are having a bad day and you are prone to suggestion. The best thing for those days, when you’d otherwise be surfing and worrying is to pull out the Catechism of the Catholic Church and read about the things you have issue with.

Also, find a copy of St. Edmund Campions’ Ten Points. He talks very seriously (and is funny!) and credibly about all the various protestants and their history. This book you can find for free for ebook or kindle on line. Look up St. Edmund Campion on www.archive.org. He speaks the truth, and you can look up everything he says in non-Catholic sources. It’s also fairly short, and is written in both Latin and English. (That is, displays the original Latin and provides an English translation.)

Another good book is David Rose’s If Protestantism is True… The great benefit to this one is that simple reason will put you back on the right track. The tools are placed in your hands to use again and again. Reducto Ad Absurdum is highly useful for all kinds of worry, as well as scruples and OCD issues. It can also be a great deal of fun.

When you get that spiritual director, make sure he or she has access to email and is willing to communicate that way. Arrange to have a regular schedule where you send an email discussing your issues between sessions. And, if there’s an emergency, you can send an email immediately. You may not always get an immediate reply, but I find solace in just explaining my issues when my scruples start snapping at my heel.

My last piece of advice: Laugh more. Get some John Zmirak (Bad Catholic’s Guides) and have a chuckle. Nothing kicks the scrupulous tail faster than a good hearty laugh. Believe me, it takes time to feel as though you can be safe enough in your faith to laugh. But God really does want you to be happy! He made you to live forever in His Bliss. Talk to Padre Pio about devils and worry, and St. Phillip Neri about laughter. They can help you find Joy and Truth in God’s own Catholic Church.

 

[jcrichton]

Hi. I posted something about this before, but I have OCD and would like to be reassured.

I spent several months trying to prove God’s existence, and after that, I became involved in doctrinal pursuits. This also meant I was opened to the world of Fundamentalist Christianity, namely Jesus-is-savior.com and CAnswersTV. One of my best friends is an evangelical and he would ask me: where is purgatory in the bible? Etc. I spoke with him about Marian apparitions and saintly miracles, and he said an honest truth: if its not God it’s probably the devil.
I started to wonder about devilish tricks and I wondered if satan was behind everything ad that Jesus was a trick, and I panicked, becAuse carm said that to do such a thing was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, unforgivable. I get compulsions to call satan lord and pray to him, in the sense that God would not say yes to me and the devil would. Te more I tried beating this via prayers I learned in Catholicism, I wanted to check with bible Christians to see if it was okay, and I always felt like I was wrong.
Now I was also struggling with my sexuality, while I deep down inside still had feelings for girls, and I had OCD in the sense I was trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was gay, and felt gay. Despite my feelings I never felt any urge to have sex or pleasure myself. But I despaired so much and said you know what? Take it, satan! Give me my heterosexuality back. And what’d ya know? It returned.
But I later wanted to repent. I had no idea where to run. I felt with conviction in my heart in high school that the Catholic Church was the church, ad I sought to prove it right. But Dave Hunt and company caused me to think I was wrong. Despite listening to lectures by Steve Ray, Scott Hahn, jimmy Akin, and Tim Staples, further proving Catholicism, instill felt like I was in a satanic system.
I keep manipulating myself into thinking I’m praying to satan. I’m saying the creed? I’m saying it to satan. Our father? I’m praying with satan!

What do I do? My priest told me to live an active Christian lifestyle by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. my compulsions still exist and I worry that when I flirt with a girl I am damning myself.

…you are a mess!

Can you accept that?

…if you can, know that every other human on the planet is also a mess!

…order (Grace) comes from God… but Yahweh God will not force us to accept His Gift…

…I am poor… I cannot pray to Jesus to give me a ton of money–well… make that gold, diamonds or some other precious metal since the US may start printing HK dollars instead of the ole green-backs!

…if I were to pray for something and not get it, I cannot fault God!

…we are emotional beings… the power of our mind has not really been exploited… so it is not surprising that you would attribute power to Satan when your body reacts in a manner that you might understand as “sinful.”

…from your post, it seems that you are caught up in a massive deluge of beliefs… it’s as though you bought a car and filled it with as many forms of fuels as you could find and then tried to get a long-smooth-ride to the apex of the world’s highest mountain…

…start easy… determine who you want to serve and where you want to end up… we can serve God or serve Satan… we can never serve God through Satan!

I want you to work these few passages into your daily rutine (read, meditate, put into action):

’No one can be the slave of two masters: he will either hate the first and love the second, or be attached to the first and despise the second. (St. Matthew 6:24a)

Give in to God, then; resist the devil, and he will run away from you. (St. James 4:7)

The nearer you go to God, the nearer God will come to you. (St. James 4:8a)

…as you engage any activity (at home, work, school, volunteer), make these passages your quick-guide to set/reset your mind and thoughts…

…lastly, offer all of your pain and anguish… all of your torment and turmoil to God the Father, in Christ, the Son, through the Holy Spirit!

Maran atha!

Angel