Can someone just talk to me, give some encouragement/wisdom

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youngsterat16

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I’m not exActly how to express this but I’ll do my best. It’s nothing that no one has felt before. I just feel lonesome and distant. Sorry that this may sound like complaining or some rant but I just need, I don’t know, encouragement? Wisdom?

Often times I feel somewhat miserable at night. I have this huge fear of getting disconnected/losing people in my life. I’m not really afraid of much else. Even my future I feel as long as those who are close in my life now stay close going into adulthood I’ll be alright. Know either way I’ll end up fine but knowing is different from the emotions.

I’m not a very talkative person and I only have a handful of close friends. Sometimes I just, well a lot of times, wish I could just see them more often. They all go to different schools and one in a different state. Please don’t say make close friends where I am because that really isn’t very helpful advice for me. I have some good friends where I am, but they just aren’t the same.

I had a friend who I was able to see during the week and we’d go to mass together which was nice and helped a bit. It was enough to be content. He transferred schools this year and won’t be able to anymore. So now I’m stuck almost to where I was two years ago. I felt so distant from them I even tried pushing them away since I hardly saw them anyways. It was horrible and something I hoped I would never have to deal with again.

The school they all go to is a catholic high school that I’ve wondered what would’ve happened if I went there instead. And since my friends transfer it has me thinking of it all the more. I would love to perhaps go there my senior year next year. I feel like emotionally and spiritually I’d do better there. However I’m also not sure I wan to leave the school I’m I. Now. I really like the teachers and classes and schedule. It’s right across the street. Transferring to a different school will mean different planning in my schedule. Not to mention money.

I’m not sure what my point is here, but if someone could just talk to me that’d be nice.
 
Sorry you are having a tough time.

I was in a similar situation at your age. I switched schools and it worked to resolve a bit of the loneliness. Ultimately though, I found that when I worked on the underlying factors causing the initial feelings, things got much better.

Good luck with your situation. You have been prayed for.
 
You don’t sound like you’re complaining. Sorry you are having a tough time.

I was in a similar situation to yours. I switched schools and it helped a bit. Ultimately in my situation, I found what was causing the difficulty was in me. When I changed that, everything outside changed too.

Good luck as you move forward. You have been prayed for.
 
The people you need to be talking to are your parents, not strangers on the Internet. We cannot advise you whether you are able to switch schools for your senior year of high school. That is mostly up to them.

You sound like you may have too much free time on your hands. Too much time to feel lonely. Get involved with school activities, volunteer somewhere, and keep busy.

This isn’t what you want to hear, but the people you know right now as friends may not be people you will know the rest of your life. Friendships change throughout life. You should be open to meeting new friends.

Continue to attend mass during the week without that guy you used to go with. Draw yourself closer to God and do not worry so much.
 
youngsterat16,

A few suggestions…When you feel miserable at night pick up your rosary beads and focus on a mystery.

With regard to schools…this is just my opinion: If you can find like-minded friends at your parish (that are into their faith) that would be a good place to start. You wouldn’t have to transfer to another school. Some parishes have great youth ministers.

Sadly, some Catholic high schools have students in there who are in it for the education, and not for the fullness of faith we all need. I know a student who is a senior in a Catholic high school, and so far he has not been assigned to read any books about the life of a saint. I hope not all Catholic high schools are not like that.
 
Transferring senior year will only be a temporary fix because after graduation , your friends are perhaps all going in different directions.The good thing about this is you will meet new friends at that time too in your new enviornment.

Just because your friends go to a different school, it does not mean you can’t see them either, but you have to plan and work around schedules. You have to put effort into staying connected.

You can also volunteer, or work part time to be around others, who perhaps will become new friends…when you are out in the community and keeping busy, it is a good thing.
 
Giving advice is difficult.

Each of us is different.

One thing I used to do was to stop in at a public library … found the most comfortable place was the history section. I ended up reading EVERYTHING in the history section. The right word might be “introversion” … I ABSORBED EVERYTHING. The world of history became a home for me. A lot of the books were memoirs … and I absorbed their success stories.

Whenever I walked past a Catholic church, I went inside and prayed. Not just for me. I filled a 3x5 card with names of people and prayed for them as well.

One summer job required me to get in very early. While walking to the job site, I found a 6:30 morning Mass. And soon, that early hardy group became part of my community.
 
Getting used to solitude is one of the hardest things about growing up. It really is. Maturing means that we accept ourselves without others teaching us and nurturing us in the way they have done in earlier years…

Like learning to ride a bike, or swim without water wings.

Takes time and patience. And is well worth it.

If we are not happy in our own skin, by ourselves , how can we be happy with others in a giving way?

And yes, get out and volunteer. And enjoy it
 
I’m trying to keep myself busy this year. Volunteer is a nice idea, but I’m not sure where I’d volunteer at yet. I was asking for a decision on schools. I was only saying that because it just really has me feeling disconnected. Unfortunately I’m not able to make it to morning masses at least this fall because I have a license but my mom doesn’t want me driving alone yet and she’d be too busy in the mornings to take me.

All of my friends do go to the same parish and we do have youth group that some of us go to. So that does help a bit. I’m focusing in my prayer life this year. I’m going to do my best to make plans with them but that will be difficult. Like I said, I have some friends where I am but I just can’t explain it.
 
You should be discussing this with your parents/School Guidance Counselor/Priest & not people on the Internet.
 
I had a similar thing happen to me too. For me it was the year after high school. I hadn’t decided where I was going to college yet, didn’t have a full time job, and my small group of friends had all moved away for college. Night time was always the worst, because I would be alone with my thoughts, and it was hard to sleep. I worried so much because I thought I’d never get a full time job to make money to pay for things. Just a lot of over-thinking and anxiety.

I would say to just focus on each day as it comes. I mean, planning for the future is good, but don’t spend too much time thinking about tomorrow. Do your best today, focus on what is going well today. Take time every day to really focus on and pray/thank God for all the blessings in your life. If things aren’t great, just remember that tomorrow is a new day and it will get better. As you leave school, you will meet new people, and will make new friends. I know I was always so worried about that. Whether you go off to college, and/or start a full time job, you will meet a lot of new people, and eventually make new friends. This time will be, by far, one of the most stressful/anxiety-filled times in your life. There will be a lot of changes, and nobody really enjoys change. Unfortunately it’s part of going into adulthood. But there are a lot of positive things about becoming an adult, and becoming more independent. You will learn so much about yourself, meet a lot of great and not so great people, and hopefully meet the person you will spend your life with.
 
Sorry you feel lonely. It is pretty common in this day and age. Perhaps you can keep turning to the Lord because He is the one who will always be there for you.

Also it sounds simple, but pray to Jesus and Mary for good friends. Sometimes we simply forget to ask God for what we need.

Remember that some of the greatest philosophers said it is only possible to have a few real close friends. Everyone else is more of an acquaintance. These days we look at social media and people appear to have hundreds of “friends,” well that is not truly possible; if someone appears that way, it is because most of those people they are not too close with. That is okay too, but it is actually better to have a few real ones.

Praying for you.
 
Rosebud77 said:
Getting used to solitude is one of the hardest things about growing up. It really is. Maturing means that we accept ourselves without others teaching us and nurturing us in the way they have done in earlier years…

Like learning to ride a bike, or swim without water wings.

Takes time and patience. And is well worth it.

If we are not happy in our own skin, by ourselves , how can we be happy with others in a giving way?

And yes, get out and volunteer. And enjoy it
Click to expand...
This^^

A very holy monk told me when I told him I felt alone “You are never alone. Jesus is always with you.” Sometimes now I picture Jesus sitting next to me! 🙂
 
My close friends and I have parted ways and it was hard too.

Idk what to say that will make you feel better. It’s frustrating to hear stuff like ‘make new friends’, so I’ll keep my mouth zipped. (I’m a huge introvert but i hate being lonely, so stuff like that won’t help)

PM me if you want to vent in the future!
 
I cannot say that I know exactly what you are going through, for everyone’s experiences differ, but I ran into similar circumstances in my life. It was always very difficult for me to make friends and I changed schools quite a bit, leaving my friends at one school and moving to another. I tried to be in touch, but it didn’t always work out. I too fell into loneliness at night as I lay in bed with only my thoughts for company.

I can’t give you any advice about your school situation, for that can only be decided between your parents and you. I can give you advice upon friendships that I have learned over the years.

In the end, distances have absolutely no effect on true friends. You may grow up and become different persons, but the love you have for your friends will always be there, whether you haven’t seen them in a week or in five years. For example, I had a friend, Rosa, who I helped tutor in middle school that called me out of the blue one evening five years after I left public school for a Catholic High School and it was as if we were back, joking around, laying on the floor of my living room as we went over pre-calculus. I can only suggest that, when possible, if no opportunities to see your friends come about on their own, make your own opportunities.

Yes, you will make new friends. I know you have probably heard this a million times, but it is true, no matter how hard it is for you to make friends. I’ve been there. But this does not mean that you have to loose your old friends.

As for the feelings of loneliness in the short term, I can give you some advice I wish I had when I was in high school. It may sound stereotypical and slightly corny, but hear me out and try it if you can.

Jesus is your friend and always there for you.

Again, hear me out. I am actually going somewhere with this. What I am about to say was what actually helped pull me out of a rather spiraling depression and loneliness.

Whenever you are feeling lonely, just start talking to Jesus, whether out loud or in your head. Tell him your day, the things that upset you, your fears, expectations, hopes; anything that you would speak to your friends about.

Now, lets face it. Sometimes this alone is not enough to overcome loneliness. Sometimes you need someone who is physically there to talk to. In that case, do what you would do when you want to see a friend and physically go the Him. I would advise for you to see if there is an adoration chapel at a parish nearby and simply go be with Him. Adoration isn’t just kneeling and saying prayers, it is physically going to visit your Friend, Christ. If there are other people there (as there should be), then simply speak to Him in your thoughts or write Him letters in a journal. This is the main way I pulled myself out of my depression and actually eventually led me to join a religious order which participates in daily adoration. When you are there, try not to let anything from the outside bother you. Just be there and enjoy the presence of your friend. Eventually, this time with Christ help you see where He is leading you in your life, where ever it may be. At first, you may feel awkward, but give it time. Eventually, you will come to the point when, upon leaving Adoration, you take Him with you in your heart. When this happens, even in the darkest situations, you are never alone.

I hope it helps. It helped me.

I’ll be praying for you.

Ad Majorem Resurgentis Gloriam! For the Greater Glory of the Rising Christ!
 
Reading the posts… a dear friend facing drastic surgery tomorrow has deep faith and knows how many are praying for her but added//“it is good though to have someone in skin…”

Most of us in varying degrees need some human (name removed by moderator)ut. I am at the far end ot the solitude scale, living as a solitary, but I do have at least one friend on the phone etc. Being alone is perfect for me.

WHen they hear I live alone up here, people ask me if am not scared. I remind them that it is people who scare
 
You’re young. You will make friends. Many have oodles of acquaintances, but no real there-for-you-in-the-hard-times-friends.
Real friendship is hard to come by. NO, you’re not going to be alone, nor is being alone a solution. Ever. We are made to live, work, and worship in community. Get involved in your community and find people of similar interests.
I’ll pray for you. But don’t let this temporary thing color your outlook on life. Things change quickly as you get older. High school is nothing. Blip! It’s over.
 
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