Can someone please explain this?

[ChibiViolet]

I have a hard time understanding the concept of why anyone, but those called to marriage should have sexual hormonal feelings and how they could possibly be used for anything (properly) outside of marriage. From what I understand (i.e. from what I learned from Theology of the Body), the sexual feelings are for an unmarried person, ideally, to somehow convert sexual energy into another kind of energy and use it for creativity or something? No one explains how to go about it that I am aware of and I don’t get it. Does anyone else really get it and can it possibly be explained so that other people like me, who really don’t get it? I thought before, it could be used in prayer (without having to be converted into something else), but I was unsure about it, asked a priest and he told me while it isn’t a sin, it also isn’t proper.

I’d rather never have such feelings in the first place, or take something to make them go away. To me, they do nothing but tempt and distract when they come and usually I do what I can to make them fade away if I am at all able. Mine come and go at random mostly so its mainly from within that my problem comes.

 

[Allegra]

What do you mean by “sexual feelings”? If you are simply referring to sex drive, then I think one should do what they can to avoid such feelings if they are not married as they are disordered in that case. More or less the way a person with obesity or diabetes have to occupy themselves with things like exercise, charity, or engage in art or music or hobbies in order to keep their mind off of food that is dangerous for them.

 

[ChibiViolet]

What do you mean by “sexual feelings”? If you are simply referring to sex drive, then I think one should do what they can to avoid such feelings if they are not married as they are disordered in that case. More or less the way a person with obesity or diabetes have to occupy themselves with things like exercise, charity, or engage in art or music or hobbies in order to keep their mind off of food that is dangerous for them.

You can’t exactly avoid your feelings FYI. And I do have hobbies; I just don’t have to ability to manipulate my hormones. I try to stop them when they come. It’s the best I fear anyone can do.

 

[Allegra]

You can’t exactly avoid your feelings FYI.

You can’t avoid random feelings that come from normal daily stimuli. You can certainly avoid the romance novel shelf at the books store, the back room at the video store, TV shows that are a near occasion of sin for you, being alone with the married man you work with that likes to flirt with you, etc.

 

[ChibiViolet]

You can’t avoid random feelings that come from normal daily stimuli. You can certainly avoid the romance novel shelf at the books store, the back room at the video store, TV shows that are a near occasion of sin for you, being alone with the married man you work with that likes to flirt with you, etc.

I said they are mainly purely hormonal in nature–coming from within–not “daily stimuli.” I don’t like romance novels or any such things and I don’t flirt and no one flirts with me either.

 

[Rand431]

Well this world isn’t supposed to be perfect so there are many things that will tempt us not just sexual feelings. However with something like sexual feelings which seem to overcome our bodies it is best to do something else in that time to distract one’s self from it until it fades away. It is best to distract one’s self with something productive. After all isn’t life just one big distraction? Also exercise does help greatly in getting rid of sexual desires.

 

[ChibiViolet]

Please, everyone who posts, please note that “Theology of the Body” is a legitimate theology written by St. John Paul II.

 

[Allegra]

I’m pretty sure that no one has argued that TOTB isn’t legitimate. I don’t think you have clearly explained what you mean by “sexual feelings”. How do you propose those feelings be channeled into prayer? I’m wondering if you haven’t misunderstood what you read.

 

[ChibiViolet]

I’m pretty sure that no one has argued that TOTB isn’t legitimate. I don’t think you have clearly explained what you mean by “sexual feelings”. How do you propose those feelings be channeled into prayer? I’m wondering if you haven’t misunderstood what you read.

I took a class on it a while back. I was wondering if you didn’t know about it because you spoke of sexual feelings in and of themselves as though it is wrong to have them at all if one is not married–implying that God must have made a mistake.

Sexual feelings are sexual hormonal feelings. What’s so hard to understand?

 

[ChibiViolet]

Well this world isn’t supposed to be perfect so there are many things that will tempt us not just sexual feelings. However with something like sexual feelings which seem to overcome our bodies it is best to do something else in that time to distract one’s self from it until it fades away. It is best to distract one’s self with something productive. After all isn’t life just one big distraction? Also exercise does help greatly in getting rid of sexual desires.

What if you’re trying to go to sleep?

 

[Allegra]

I took a class on it a while back. I was wondering if you didn’t know about it because you spoke of sexual feelings in and of themselves as though it is wrong to have them at all if one is not married–implying that God must have made a mistake.

Sexual feelings are sexual hormonal feelings. What’s so hard to understand?

There are more than one kind of sexual feeling. At first I thought what you are talking about is arousal, but it ought to be obvious that intentionally causing arousal for the purpose of art or anything other than sex with your own spouse is wrong. I still have no idea how one could arousing oneself could be part of one’s prayer life. Sometimes people become aroused unintentionally, and that is not sinful, but arousing oneself intentionally for some purpose other than the marital act is a disordered use of the sexual faculty. Now some people might use the term “sexual thoughts” to describe acknowledgement of the different forms of natural beauty associated with masculinity and femininity. I was wondering if that was what you were getting at, as one could legitimately use such feelings and imagery to express an art form.

 

[ChibiViolet]

There are more than one kind of sexual feeling. At first I thought what you are talking about is arousal, but it ought to be obvious that intentionally causing arousal for the purpose of art or anything other than sex with your own spouse is wrong. I still have no idea how one could arousing oneself could be part of one’s prayer life. Sometimes people become aroused unintentionally, and that is not sinful, but arousing oneself intentionally for some purpose other than the marital act is a disordered use of the sexual faculty. Now some people might use the term “sexual thoughts” to describe acknowledgement of the different forms of natural beauty associated with masculinity and femininity. I was wondering if that was what you were getting at, as one could legitimately use such feelings and imagery to express an art form.

There are different things that can trigger the feelings, but they all have the same root-cause and that is hormones, what the use of which is to unmarried people, I can’t imagine and suppose never will, but will just be very grateful when menopause comes despite any pain it may cause. I don’t wish to specify what I was talking about exactly in regards to prayer; I had when I first posted, thought it was obvious…

 

[ChibiViolet]

I just tested a method of self-discipline that I believe could be the answer to my problem, albeit it does not answer my questions…If anyone wishes to know about this method, than please private message me.

 

[ChibiViolet]

I just tested a method of self-discipline that I believe could be the answer to my problem, albeit it does not answer my questions…If anyone wishes to know about this method, than please private message me.

Actually, the method doesn’t always work. I tried it again today and it didn’t work. I wish I could find some fool-proof solution, but I fear it’s simply not going to happen…

 

[ChibiViolet]

Here is a link that has cleared up a lot for me. I get that prayer is acceptable to help with this and that everyone really is to somehow use sexual feelings in their relationship with God, at least at the second coming, so I guess that means that I can pray with such feelings, as long as they are not tainted and stem only from love…

crossroadsinitiative.com…pher_West.html

 

[smichhertz]

Here is a link that has cleared up a lot for me. I get that prayer is acceptable to help with this and that everyone really is to somehow use sexual feelings in their relationship with God, at least at the second coming, so I guess that means that I can pray with such feelings, as long as they are not tainted and stem only from love…

crossroadsinitiative.com…pher_West.html

Hi ChibiViolet,

The link doesn’t work

Desires, whether sexual or otherwise, are natural in and of themselves, but we must be careful not to act on them in a sinful manner. If I’m really hungry and I’m tempted to eat more than I should, I need to exercise restraint and only eat what is appropriate. I can also refrain from eating for a time (fasting) and offer up the suffering to God.

So with sexual desires, a similar thing can be done. Despite the urge, resisting thinking lustful thoughts, or acting on sexual desires and instead praying or something to that effect. Such acts of self sacrifice help to strengthen our relationship with God. However, I would not refer to such acts as “using” sexual desires, more resisting temptation and exercising temperance.

Hope that helps!

 

[ChibiViolet]

Hi ChibiViolet,

The link doesn’t work

Desires, whether sexual or otherwise, are natural in and of themselves, but we must be careful not to act on them in a sinful manner. If I’m really hungry and I’m tempted to eat more than I should, I need to exercise restraint and only eat what is appropriate. I can also refrain from eating for a time (fasting) and offer up the suffering to God.

So with sexual desires, a similar thing can be done. Despite the urge, resisting thinking lustful thoughts, or acting on sexual desires and instead praying or something to that effect. Such acts of self sacrifice help to strengthen our relationship with God. However, I would not refer to such acts as “using” sexual desires, more resisting temptation and exercising temperance.

Hope that helps!

I wasn’t trying to say lust was okay or anything like it. The link is a legitimate Catholic one and I’m sorry it doesn’t work. All the website basically says is that our sexuality is a gift we should be thankful to God for–that it is an integral part of ourselves and ultimately points us to the highest union with God, which is something we cannot yet comprehend. It is a good thing to pray with the feelings–to integrate them with prayer (as long as one understands the true nature of sexuality and has no desire to abuse it.) It’s not a matter of using them so much, as simply giving them to God, as part of the whole self. It’s not about fun, which is transitory, but about a real union with God. It is a pure kind of sexual desire, which I described–not lustful in the least.