Can someone please help me make sense of this priest's advice?

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Hey everyone. The other day I went to a priest for Confession that I have only been to a couple of times. Anyway, I had a long list of sins to confess and I had just gone last Thursday so it had only been 5 days. Undoubtedly not all of the sins were mortal. Anyway, he suggested that I try not to bring a long laundry list of sins to Confession the next time. I think he was recommending that I not confess venial sins possibly because he recognizes that I am scrupulous. Does this sound right to you? He basically said that it is hard for a priest to believe that a person can commit so many mortal sins in 5 days.
 
Why not go to another confessor? He didn’t make himself clear.
 
Holly3278 said:
Hey everyone. The other day I went to a priest for Confession that I have only been to a couple of times. Anyway, I had a long list of sins to confess and I had just gone last Thursday so it had only been 5 days. Undoubtedly not all of the sins were mortal. Anyway, he suggested that I try not to bring a long laundry list of sins to Confession the next time. I think he was recommending that I not confess venial sins possibly because he recognizes that I am scrupulous. Does this sound right to you? He basically said that it is hard for a priest to believe that a person can commit so many mortal sins in 5 days.
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Yes, it sounds fine. Listen to your priest. Venial sins do not have to be confessed and if you are scrupulous he probably wants you to just stay focused on your mortal sins, and discern if they are truly mortal or not, rather than just rattling off every little thing you did each day. If there is a particular venial sin that you struggle with consistently (like engaging in gossip) you may want to mention that one.
 
I would try and speak with the priest after confession or the next time you see him to find out his intentions. Even though, only mortal sins MUST be confessed, it has been a practice of the Church to confess all sins in the confessional. It helps us to truly examine ourselves and to humble ourselves before Almighty God.
I have had priests who cut my off during confession and just start absolving me before I’m done, not because they think I’m too scrupulous but because they don’t want to hear my confession. Unfortunately there are priests out there that don’t really believe in confession, among other things, but they’re required to offer it to the people. Pray, pray, pray. Examine your conscience nightly, like Holy Mother Church has always recommended and confess as often as possible. It was said that the late Holy Father JPII confessed daily. Was he really committing mortal sins every day??? Or was he just really good at examining his life??
 
I’m reminded of something I heard once from a priest who was assigned to hear the confessions at a convent. He said, “it was like being stoned to death with popcorn”.😃

Perhaps this is what the good father was trying to tell you.

Something tha tmight help you (and your confessors) would be to look at the underlying causes of the “laundry list”. I found this to be hugely helpful when I was preparing for my first confession after returning to The Church.
I remembered about the “Seven deadly sins” and decided to look at what they were and if I had committed any of them. When I looked them up, By Golly, I found tha most of my sins, large and small, fit into one of the seven.

For example, if you have trouble with swearing, the issue isn’t that you swore, but why you swore. It is less a matter of taking the Lords name in vain, than one of “Anger”, one of the deadly sins.
The same thing can be seen in other sins. The underlying, or 'root cause" of the sin is what is causing the problem and not the “laundry list” of each infraction. In this way too you can recognize those areas where you need to consentrate.
Working on a single root cause will eliminate the single source of several “venial sins”, make your confessions shorter and much more productive.

Hope this helps.

Peace
James
 
The other thing is that we are not really required to explain a lot about our sins. We just say, I gossiped 5 times, or I gossiped 5 times a week or so. We do not have to say, Every time I see So-and-so, we gossip, and i also ran into Someone else and passed along the gossip So-and-so told me, and the next day I *had *to call So-and-so about something else and we ended up gossiping again!–just, I gossiped 3 times suffices.

(I have a very hard time following this advice myself, but I heard something that helped me, which is to *own *my sins, admit that I sinned and get it over with, because if I try to justify what I did and minimize my involvement or culpability, I then limit God’s forgiveness. Does that make sense? *)

Also, you might try reading Introduction to the Devout Life (which you can find online here, or as a regular book, and which is included in the iPieta app if you do apps ). He talks about using one’s time of meditation to help us reduce our sins both by gaining God’s grace and by thinking through what to do instead, as well as giving lots of advice about particular everyday problems. Even tho he wrote for another time, it is quite easy to see how his advice can be applied today.*
 
St_Francis said:
The other thing is that we are not really required to explain a lot about our sins. We just say, I gossiped 5 times, or I gossiped 5 times a week or so. We do not have to say, Every time I see So-and-so, we gossip, and i also ran into Someone else and passed along the gossip So-and-so told me, and the next day I *had *to call So-and-so about something else and we ended up gossiping again!–just, I gossiped 3 times suffices.
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This is very good advice. God knows the details already. Basically you reviewed all of these details as you were examining your conscience and probably had already said a sincere act of contrition. So don’t feel the need to “explain” to the priest.
If he has questions, he’ll ask.
If you have concerns about particulars or sins that you seem “mired in” make an appointment to discuss it with him seperately.

Again, I have to say that learning and using the “Seven Deadly Sins” helped me a LOT in seeking out and working on correcting the root cause of my sins. (Still got a long way to go though).

Peace
James
 
I can just warmly recommend Benedict Baur´s book Frequent confession.
You can get a much clearer view of sound doctrinal teaching on confession, frequency of this Sacrament, venial and mortal sins. Great and beneficial read.

cyr
 
Holly3278 said:
Hey everyone. The other day I went to a priest for Confession that I have only been to a couple of times. Anyway, I had a long list of sins to confess and I had just gone last Thursday so it had only been 5 days. Undoubtedly not all of the sins were mortal. Anyway, he suggested that I try not to bring a long laundry list of sins to Confession the next time. I think he was recommending that I not confess venial sins possibly because he recognizes that I am scrupulous. Does this sound right to you? He basically said that it is hard for a priest to believe that a person can commit so many mortal sins in 5 days.
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Actually this confessor sounds like a good one. Stick with him.

Years ago when I read the book, “The Way of the Pilgrim,” the peasant gets advice from an abbot that I have made my examination of conscience from.

Examine yourself against the two commandments Jesus gave us, i.e. love the Lord God with your entire being, and love your neighbor as yourself.

These two commandments are the some of all of God’s eternal truths for us to follow.

Think about it, “did I love God, with my entire being today? In what ways did I not love God?” then, “did I love my neighbor as I should? If not, in what ways did I fail to love?”

You’ll end up getting a better look at the state of your soul from God’s perspective.

Jim
 
JRKH said:
This is very good advice. God knows the details already. Basically you reviewed all of these details as you were examining your conscience and probably had already said a sincere act of contrition. So don’t feel the need to “explain” to the priest.
If he has questions, he’ll ask.
If you have concerns about particulars or sins that you seem “mired in” make an appointment to discuss it with him seperately.

Again, I have to say that learning and using the “Seven Deadly Sins” helped me a LOT in seeking out and working on correcting the root cause of my sins. (Still got a long way to go though).

Peace
James
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I concur. I find it is much better to be simple and concise. If I try to explain the details too much, it feels more like me trying to justify my actions than me confessing my sins. You’re right, if the priest has questions, he’ll ask. It is much better for my humility to simply lay my sins out there than it is to explain them.

We certainly need to examine our conscience and look at our sins, but we should really spend more time reveling in God’s mercy that wallowing in our sin.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Actually this confessor sounds like a good one. Stick with him.

Years ago when I read the book, “The Way of the Pilgrim,” the peasant gets advice from an abbot that I have made my examination of conscience from.

Examine yourself against the two commandments Jesus gave us, i.e. love the Lord God with your entire being, and love your neighbor as yourself.

These two commandments are the some of all of God’s eternal truths for us to follow.

Think about it, “did I love God, with my entire being today? In what ways did I not love God?” then, “did I love my neighbor as I should? If not, in what ways did I fail to love?”

You’ll end up getting a better look at the state of your soul from God’s perspective.

Jim
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👍
 
It amazes me that any priest would be so impatient as to cut off someone who is confessing - even if only venial sins.

Those confession lines are not that long these days, so let’s be glad people come to confession and the priests should stop interrupting and cutting anyone off. I’d think that’s a bit sinful too -

If you want to confess your venial sins, go right ahead. The priests seem to complain whether we have LONG confession lines or none at all.
 
Holly3278 said:
Hey everyone. The other day I went to a priest for Confession that I have only been to a couple of times. Anyway, I had a long list of sins to confess and I had just gone last Thursday so it had only been 5 days. Undoubtedly not all of the sins were mortal. Anyway, he suggested that I try not to bring a long laundry list of sins to Confession the next time. I t.
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I think the best way to make sense of the priest’s advice is to follow it in humility.
 
The last time I went to confession with a big list of sins the Priest advised me to conquer my sins one by one. It sounds like your priests wants you to do that too. 🙂
 
We have to pray for our brothers priests. The enemy works extra hard with them to get them all confused. Saint Therese of Avila in one of her books mentions that the venials sins are the ones that Catholics pay less attention to but yet are the ones that really keep you from growing in holiness to the next level.

She had a confessor that was having an affair with a woman. She told him about it and he quit the affair and died one year later.

Pray the Rosary for our priest!!
 
Holly3278 said:
Hey everyone. The other day I went to a priest for Confession that I have only been to a couple of times. Anyway, I had a long list of sins to confess and I had just gone last Thursday so it had only been 5 days. Undoubtedly not all of the sins were mortal. Anyway, he suggested that I try not to bring a long laundry list of sins to Confession the next time. I think he was recommending that I not confess venial sins possibly because he recognizes that I am scrupulous. Does this sound right to you? He basically said that it is hard for a priest to believe that a person can commit so many mortal sins in 5 days.
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to me the only thing that doesn’t sound right is that he would say that without explaining why or what he means, perhaps next time just ask why he said that,

although as i’ve been told, it’s best to have just one good confessor, especially if you tend to be scrupulous, unless it’s an emergency, it’s best for your confessor to know you well so he can monitor your progress and give you advice that’s best suited for you and your temperament and not just your general sins.

if you don’t know about the 4 temperaments, here is a books that explains them(free online) - gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=13046951

another way to combat the seriously long list of sins, is to just really learn about them, learn not just what they are, but also the remedies for them, and how to gain strength over all your sins by gaining control of your will.
one mean is by mortification -
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=12961409
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=13047443
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=15358315

and of course another means in overcoming our sins(or vices) is by practicing all of the virtues, and praying for the ones that are infused,
you can read about the virtues in many books from the saints and other good catholic books, and i also have several articles and books on my forum there on the virtues.

ok well that’s all, so i hope this helps, take care.
 
Joannm said:
Yes, it sounds fine. Listen to your priest. Venial sins do not have to be confessed and if you are scrupulous he probably wants you to just stay focused on your mortal sins, and discern if they are truly mortal or not, rather than just rattling off every little thing you did each day. If there is a particular venial sin that you struggle with consistently (like engaging in gossip) you may want to mention that one.
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I think you’re right. Good insight! I base this on how I see priests. I believe, even if the priest doesn’t seem to care, that what he says comes from God. The priest has the grace of Holy Orders - very special. I’ve experienced similiar things in Confessions and what I’ve always done is say to myself that the priest is right and I need to be obedient and think about what he said. Every time, as I meditate on what he said, the priest ends up being right even if I believed in his heart he seemed aloof or tired, etc.

In general, I think we should be allowed to confess our venial sins but you may be right in this case. I would give the priest the benefit of the doubt. It’s another opportunity to practice obedience.
 
Apagano said:
I would try and speak with the priest after confession or the next time you see him to find out his intentions. Even though, only mortal sins MUST be confessed, it has been a practice of the Church to confess all sins in the confessional. It helps us to truly examine ourselves and to humble ourselves before Almighty God.
I have had priests who cut my off during confession and just start absolving me before I’m done, not because they think I’m too scrupulous but because they don’t want to hear my confession. Unfortunately there are priests out there that don’t really believe in confession, among other things, but they’re required to offer it to the people. Pray, pray, pray. Examine your conscience nightly, like Holy Mother Church has always recommended and confess as often as possible. It was said that the late Holy Father JPII confessed daily. Was he really committing mortal sins every day??? Or was he just really good at examining his life??
Click to expand...
This is good advice too. I said about another person who posted that their advice was good in not hearing the venial sins for good reason. I confess venial sins but maybe they need to ask the priest after confession. I also think obedience is a good thing if the priest is basically good and orthodox. Good insight about the Pope!
 
I always confess both mortal and venial sins and if no mortal sins to confess I try to go to Confession regularly to confess my venial sins.
Not required but strongly recommended by the Church.

CCC 1458** Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church**. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful:

Whoever confesses his sins . . . is already working with God. God indicts your sins; if you also indict them, you are joined with God. Man and sinner are, so to speak, two realities: when you hear “man” - this is what God has made; when you hear “sinner” - this is what man himself has made. Destroy what you have made, so that God may save what he has made. . . . When you begin to abhor what you have made, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works. The beginning of good works is the confession of evil works. You do the truth and come to the light.
 
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