Can someone require people to first repent before forgiving them?

[Tarquin]

Is a person justified (generally and/or in specific cases) in requiring an offender to repent for a sin committed against the person, before the person forgives the offender?

 

[Fr.Eric_Filmer]

Hello Tarquin,

The Christian perspective is to readily and willingly forgive others. Forgiving sins is a Spiritual Work of Mercy and the example of Christ compels us to resist the natural urge to set conditions on it. Keep in mind that Jesus prayed for the forgiveness of those who crucified him even though they were not repenting (for example, see Luke 23:42).

It is also good to keep in mind that in the Our Father one prays, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church elaborates on this petition in the following manner:

2840: Now - and this is daunting - this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.

2862 The fifth petition begs God’s mercy for our offenses, mercy which can penetrate our hearts only if we have learned to forgive our enemies, with the example and help of Christ.