I’ve actually wondered the same thing. Ironically I actually began to question my faith when I went to college…at a Catholic College! There was no fault in the school, just in my own spirit. I’d been devout throughout high school, and my seperation was actually affected somewhat by outside forces…very long story. Let’s just call it a spiritual battle just for the sake of simplicity.
I later returned fully to the Church, after having begun to read the “Left Behind” series. The anti-Catholicism offended me and I made it my mission to study the Faith and better understand it…which led to my return and eventually my first Confession after 10 years.
It was a very tearful and even terrifying Confession, and never before has the forgiveness of Christ been so demonstrated to me…it almost seemed too easy, but God does know how I tend to be hardest on myself…as most of us are.
My Confirmation name was “Christina” and I did reasearch her, although I’m not sure it was really for the right reasons. However, the one thing about her and her variations, real and allegedly legendary, was that no matter how she was persecuted for her faith, she came back more strongly. One story of St. Christina holds that she was threatened with the removal of her tongue unless she ceased to preach about Jesus…she continued, they cut off her tongue and she spoke more eloquently than before. They threw her in the fire, they tried to drown her, and one account tells how she was borne from depths of the ocean by the Archangel Michael himself.
In looking back, although I question my motives for choosing her at the time, I’ve come to realize that my life has been true to what I learned of her then; I have been through the fire and every experience has made me stronger, no matter how painful it was at the time. And in the end, I have come back to Christ and my faith is stronger now that ever before.
I would encourage you to look at your Confirmation saint again, remember your motives at the time, and take a close look at the name, variations of the saint (ie: several St. Christophers) and be sure you were really “not” choosing…or did the Holy Spirit lead you even then to the person and name you chose?
Things aren’t always on the surface; sometimes things that we think should be apparent are really things we need to dig deeply to discover.