Can we consummate our marriage?

[ExGratia]

I am far from certain, but there is a chance that I will be menstrating on my wedding day. My fiance wants to consummate our marriage regardless of where I am on my cycle and I’d like that too but I am not sure if it would be moral, given that none of the other practices in Leviticus 18 are moral. If it is immoral, how long would we need to wait (forgive me for being graphic, but spotting can occur at the end of my period even once I think it’s over)? Are there any documents that could ease my mind? I’m pretty sure early Church fathers were against such a practice. We want a holy marriage and want to start that way…it would be devastating if we find out later that we displeased God any time, much less the first time, we unite.
By the way, we are open to life and would be excited if I happen to be ovulating instead on our wedding day.

 

[maryjk]

I am far from certain, but there is a chance that I will be menstrating on my wedding day. My fiance wants to consummate our marriage regardless of where I am on my cycle and I’d like that too but I am not sure if it would be moral, given that none of the other practices in Leviticus 18 are moral. If it is immoral, how long would we need to wait (forgive me for being graphic, but spotting can occur at the end of my period even once I think it’s over)? Are there any documents that could ease my mind? I’m pretty sure early Church fathers were against such a practice. We want a holy marriage and want to start that way…it would be devastating if we find out later that we displeased God any time, much less the first time, we unite.
By the way, we are open to life and would be excited if I happen to be ovulating instead on our wedding day.

Instead of looking for documents that say you can have relations at any time during your cycle, look instead for documents that say you can’t. Trust me, you won’t find any.

As Catholics we are not held to the laws in Leviticus.

 

[forhim_123]

Instead of looking for documents that say you can have relations at any time during your cycle, look instead for documents that say you can’t. Trust me, you won’t find any.

As Catholics we are not held to the laws in Leviticus.

 

[joanofarc2008]

There is nothing against having sexual relations while experiencing a woman’s menstrual cycle in the Catholic Church. If you were Orthodox there may be an issue but not Catholic. This is strictly a matter between you and your husband and your “comfort level.”

This from the EWTN should cover your questions and carries the Imprimatur.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

I am far from certain, but there is a chance that I will be menstrating on my wedding day. My fiance wants to consummate our marriage regardless of where I am on my cycle and I’d like that too but I am not sure if it would be moral, given that none of the other practices in Leviticus 18 are moral. If it is immoral, how long would we need to wait (forgive me for being graphic, but spotting can occur at the end of my period even once I think it’s over)? Are there any documents that could ease my mind? I’m pretty sure early Church fathers were against such a practice. We want a holy marriage and want to start that way…it would be devastating if we find out later that we displeased God any time, much less the first time, we unite.
By the way, we are open to life and would be excited if I happen to be ovulating instead on our wedding day.

There’s nothing wrong with it. Y’know your marriage doesn’t have to be consummated that night right?

 

[Bev17243]

While there is nothing wrong with being intimate with your husband at this time of the month, why can’t he wait several days?

 

[Nate13]

The laws of Leviticus are split up into three types as defined by the teaching authority of the Church as moral, judicial and ceremonial.

The law on menstruating is not considered a moral law by the Church.

This question was answered by a priest on the old forum forum.catholic.org/:

Dear Father,

A previous post indicated that it may be sinful to have marital relations during menstruation.

My wonderful wife allows the marital act to happen any time I want, even during the menses, for all these years.

In confession, Fathers have always said “you do not sin by the marital embrace, even during her period.” What does the Church really say?

Thank you, Father. I will pray for you.

Mark

Father replies;

Dear Mark,

Perhaps you misunderstood the post that you say “indicated that it may be sinful to have marital relations during menstruation”. It is not sinful in itself; but it may become sinful, if the wife objects. Some women may not mind; for others it may be an unreasonable request due to the harm or disgust she may feel.

With prayers, Fr. Auman

Another thread on this issue:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=58838

 

[ExGratia]

While there is nothing wrong with being intimate with your husband at this time of the month, why can’t he wait several days?

Of course he could wait (we’ve waited this long). The two calendars I looked at either put the first day of my period 3 days after marriage or on the day the marriage begins (depending if I type in 28 or 29 days long…but since it’s a couple of months away that could change). So, if we wanted to wait, that could be 7 days after the Nuptial Mass. I think we’d both be anxious knowing that the marriage wasn’t completed for a whole week. Plus, he works steady afternoons 6 days a week and we wouldn’t want our first time to be on a day when he’s waking me up at 1:30 am (he will be able to get off work the day before our wedding, the day of, and maybe the day after).

A shorter answer would be that he could wait but neither of us want to! Since the marital embrace is Sacramental we want those graces at the beginning of our marriage!

Thanks everyone for the answers, clarity and especially for the ewtn link that I’ll be closely reading over the next days.

 

[mwncheesehead]

I thought this was going to be a thread on NFP. Most people asking similar questions to the OP are asking because they’re worried that they may be in their fertile phase on their wedding night and may need to avoid relations for a few days.