Can we get married even if we must live apart?

[cuthbert58]

Could a man and a woman get married in the Church even if for reasons of jobs, etc., they must live apart for a long period of time? The reason we might want to marry is to try to have a baby - because of our ages it’s a now or never kind of thing. Would the Church consider this as a special circumstance in our favor? On the other hand, I can understand if the Church says we have no business marrying or trying to have a baby if we must live separately for a long time.

 

[Pat_the_Cat]

I don’t know your full situation! so that makes it hard to give an opinion. for instance; a man who decides that he wants to work abroad to make more money but can’t bring his wife, should seriously consider where his priorities lie. If on the other hand somone has to go to prison for a long time, it changes the motive for having to stay apart. I can’t tell you what the Church would do in your case; but I can give you some points to consider.

Marriage is a vocation. It’s about becoming Husband and wife, it’s about becoming a new family, you and your spouse. Children or not, the entire sacrament hinges on your relationship with each other. What kind of relationship could that be if you never see each other, hold each other. When you get married, you become the primary means by which God reveals His love to your spouse (not the only means, but the primary means), how well would one be able to do that if your spouse was absent for long periods?

Also if you do have children then they need both of their parents. Regular phone calls would not be sufficient imput from a parent to a newborn baby or a toddler. The child will suffer from not having it’s parent present. For parents to purposely deny their children the right to grow up with both parents would be negligence. But if the situation is beyond their control (ie called to service in the army) then pray for God’s grace, and make do with what you can.

I guess you would have to weigh up the circumstances and see if there was a possible alternative arrangement. Talk to your pastor, or a priest that you know to be wise.

Hope this helps!

God bless, I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[chevalier]

Could a man and a woman get married in the Church even if for reasons of jobs, etc., they must live apart for a long period of time? The reason we might want to marry is to try to have a baby - because of our ages it’s a now or never kind of thing. Would the Church consider this as a special circumstance in our favor? On the other hand, I can understand if the Church says we have no business marrying or trying to have a baby if we must live separately for a long time.

I don’t see a reason to think it would be forbidden, but for many reasons it might not be the best idea. You need to talk to a priest, but I suggest an orthodox one, not someone who’s more modern than the official teaching (the Magisterium).

 

[puzzleannie]

probably not forbidden in canon law, but prudence is another matter. Talk about it with the priest when you go for marriage prep. One reason might be that one is in the military for instance, or necessary work, but again, is it prudent?