Can We Help Sisters Understand What We Need From Them?

[JReducation]

I have to be very careful how I say this, because I do not want to offend Sisters. First, let me separate Sisters from Nuns.

Most nuns live in cloisters, such as the Poor Clares and Benedictines. They never leave the monastery. Therefore, most Catholics rarely come into contact with nuns, unless you live near a monastery. The “nuns” whom most of us know are not nuns, they are Sisters. They are engaged in active ministries in parishes, schools, hospitals, social service programs, missions and so forth. In other words, they are active in the Apostolate. Nuns live a hidden life and their vocation is to pray. Mother Teresa was a sister, not a nun. Mother Angelica is a nun.

Now that we’re clear on the difference between a nun and a sister I have to share my impressions. I’m a convert to Catholicism from Judaism. I’m no longer a young man. As a child I remember seeing sisters running schools, staffing hospitals and teaching religious education. Even though we were Jewish, we attended Catholic schools because my parents believed in the quality of the education and appreciated the discipline. I must confess that we received a very good education in academics and values. Even the non-Catholic students learned such values as love of God and neighbour, internal discipline, a love for perfection, a strong work-ethic and an appreciation for the knowledge that God gave us. In fact, these were the points that would later lead me to ask more questions about faith and eventually draw me into Catholicism.

Over the years I have had to travel abroad because of my job and have lived in five different countries. When I returned to the USA I was sorry to see the number of religious congregations that are dying. Curiosity got the best of me. I began to look up web pages of sisters. I found that those communities who emphasize values such as obedience to the Church, community, prayer, silence, solitude, and the glory of God are bringing in vocations, such as the Missionaries of Charity or the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, just two examples. There are many others too.

But I also found web sites for sisters that spoke a lot about justice, the poor, women’s issues, the environment and service. Then they mention Jesus, the Church, prayer, penance and asceticism.

I remember something that my vet taught me when I asked how to buy cat food. He said that the first three ingredients made up the bulk of the food. “If you want your cat to eat meat, it should be among the first three ingredients or your cat is getting very little animal protein.”

OK, I understand that sisters are not cats or cat food. But this made sense to me. Why are some women’s communities having such a difficult time seeing what makes them signs of Christian perfection are

1. love of God and Church,
2. prayer and asceticism,
3. and service to Jesus Christ.

I don’t understand why someone would want to join a religious community to be a social worker or an activist. You enter a religious congregation to be more closely united to Christ. Everything else can happen without being a sister.

My children were educated by Sisters. They love their sisters, even though they’re in graduate school and college respectively. My son said it best when he went to college. “God is not there. You could always feel him when we were with the IHM sisters.” Of course I had to explain that God is everywhere; but I understood what he meant.

How can the American lay Catholic help sisters understand what we need from them?

 

[Cloisters]

I’m a convert to Catholicism from Judaism. I’m no longer a young man. As a child I remember seeing sisters running schools, staffing hospitals and teaching religious education. Even though we were Jewish, we attended Catholic schools because my parents believed in the quality of the education and appreciated the discipline. I must confess that we received a very good education in academics and values. Even the non-Catholic students learned such values as love of God and neighbour, internal discipline, a love for perfection, a strong work-ethic and an appreciation for the knowledge that God gave us. In fact, these were the points that would later lead me to ask more questions about faith and eventually draw me into Catholicism.

Over the years I have had to travel abroad because of my job and have lived in five different countries. When I returned to the USA I was sorry to see the number of religious congregations that are dying. Curiosity got the best of me. I began to look up web pages of sisters. I found that those communities who emphasize values such as obedience to the Church, community, prayer, silence, solitude, and the glory of God are bringing in vocations, such as the Missionaries of Charity or the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, just two examples. There are many others too.

But I also found web sites for sisters that spoke a lot about justice, the poor, women’s issues, the environment and service. Then they mention Jesus, the Church, prayer, penance and asceticism.

II don’t understand why someone would want to join a religious community to be a social worker or an activist. You enter a religious congregation to be more closely united to Christ. Everything else can happen without being a sister.

My children were educated by Sisters. They love their sisters, even though they’re in graduate school and college respectively. My son said it best when he went to college. “God is not there. You could always feel him when we were with the IHM sisters.” Of course I had to explain that God is everywhere; but I understood what he meant.

How can the American lay Catholic help sisters understand what we need from them?

First of all, welcome home to Rome!

Secondly, what “happened” was a misinterpretation of the Second Vatican Council in the 1960s. Yes, the rest of us are mourning the “loss” of our religious sisters. If you could only see the casualty count as far as their closed institutions are concerned. We complain about the lack of healthcare for the poor in this country. If anyone would tally the closed religious healthcare institutions, it would scare us all.

There is a book, called “Sisters in Crisis” by Ann Carey that explains what happened. It names names, too.

Essentially, what happened is that the “liberalized” orders started following the wrong Mary–in this case she was a radical feminist who started teaching the sisters that the veil was a sign of male oppression, and all kinds of other nonsense. As a result, the sisters tossed the habit–and much of the discipline–and were given the OPTION of attending daily Mass. I looked at one of the prayerbooks in use by one “liberalied” order, and I couldn’t find any spiritual substance to it.

There are four major motherhouses historically situated near my hometown. I looked at all of them, and was completely turned off. Had I tried entering there, they would have rejected me for being too conservative.

“Peace and justice” is usually the “flag” that these liberalized communties put on their websites. I and others have learned to avoid these ladies like the plague. We pray for them, of course, but I won’t send anyone their direction unless I’m given a specific inspiration to do so. My advice to discerners when they’re looking at that particular list is to keep their eyes open.

Not only did these sisters become activists, but some have adapted “women’s spirituality” which is euphemism for neo-paganism. Another discerner of my acquaintance is a former Dianic priestess, and she’s seen a lot of neo-paganism in today’s “liberalized” convents.

The Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious is a good place to start as far as orthodox women’s orders are concerned, as is the Institute on Religious Life. The Leadership Conference of Women Religious is the one list to stay away from. Peruse the list, and pray for them. The LCWR is mentioned in Carey’s book.

Our proposed Cloister Outreach Foundations will be renewing some charisms (orders) which went “wiggy” after Vatican II, along with starting communities with charisms dealing with very modern-day issues.

Again, welcome home to Rome, and I hope the above explanation has helped.

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[JReducation]

Cloister, thank you for your response.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not pushing sisters in traditional habits or any habit at all. In fact, when I first entered the Catholic Church I had the great honour of working with a group of Sisters called the Carmelites Sisters of Charity. They are an international congregation founded in Spain over 150 years ago. Their dress code is very fluid. Each sister wears whatever is appropriate for her ministry, from jeans to veils. Nonetheless, they get the attention of the people they work with.

There were several qualities that I admired. They had a very strong community life. They had no cooks or housekeepers. Each sister had chores, including laundry, cooking and cleaning. Everything comes to a stop for morning, evening and night prayer, as well as community meals and community recreation. They do not live in traditional convents. Their communities are usually four or five sisters sharing a house or apartment. But when you walk into their home you see the asceticism. There is no fancy furniture. Their furniture and clothing is all from Goodwill or hand-me-downs. They have the basics. You can see the Carmelite spirit of detachment permeate every aspect of their lives.

I was also impressed by their fidelity to their charism. They were founded as Carmelites of Charity. Although they are well educated, not every sister has a PhD or even an MA. They receive whatever academic education they need to perform their corporal works of mercy. There is no ambition to be part of the elite. The few sisters who have PhDs or MAs bring them into the community when they enter and these gifts are put to use in service to the poor.

They respond to justice by living among the poor as do the poor. They help people find jobs, a place to live, get medical care when necessary, etc. In fact, one of the sisters was a dentist and operated a free dental clinic in a slum where people didn’t have dental insurance. She got other dentists to donate time at her clinic.

The sister with whom I worked trained in youth ministry. She arranged retreats, sports activities, liturgies and religious education for teens. She and I organized a family spirituality program for parents of children with developmental disabilities. But, despite all of this activity, Sister always made her way back to her community for prayer, silence, the Eucharist, fellowship with her sisters and she always observed the community rules on fasting, penance and austerity.

I was impressed when I visited their apartment and found that four sisters lived in a two-bedroom apartment. This is poverty, not to have your own room. Sharing our space with a sister is charity in action. In my mind, this is the spirit of St. Teresa of Avila, the great Carmelite reformer. It’s about detachment from what the world considers essential.

My children were educated by the IHM sisters from Immaculata PA. When my wife died, the sisters were the first to arrive at our home. They cooked for us. My kids were four and nine at the time. They volunteered to care for them until I could settle my affairs. They planned my wife’s funeral mass. They also had a school with more than 800 kids. I was impressed by the fact that the sisters took time from their teaching to pray in the middle of the day. The lay teachers were left in charge of the school while the sisters were in chapel. They set up their chapel in the middle of the school building so that the kids and lay teachers could join them in the recitation of the Divine Office, if they chose to do so.

Some wore veils and some did not. But this was not what made them sisters. What made them sisters was their relationship with God. Despite the fact that they had a commitment to the school and to the parish, they had a very strict rule that no sister ever remained at an assignment more than six years. Attachment to positions and places was out of the question. I remember when our principal, who was excellent, was reassigned to another school as the librarian. There was no choosing what you wanted to do. They had a governing body at their motherhouse. They went where Christ called them.

The end product was that the kids loved them. Many of their graduates speak very highly of them and what they learned from them. They provided a good education in academics, but more importantly, they taught the kids to trust God’s Providence through their example of trust. Not long ago I was worried about our family finances. My daughter said, “Remember what Sister Janet said, ‘God has plenty of money.’ “ My daughter graduated from their school five-years ago, but she has not forgotten this message of trust.

Sisters like these are like a light that shines in the darkness. We need them. How can we communicate this to them? Are they listening? I understand getting back to the original charism and spirit of the founders. But every religious founder that I have read had one thing in mind, union with the Crucified Christ and the proclamation of the Kingdom through a life of prayer, penance, constant conversion and corporal works of mercy.

These works take different forms according to each community, but prayer and community are very much needed in today’s society where families are in crisis. Someone has to be an example to families. Running social service agencies is not as powerful as strong bonds that unite people, such as should happen in religious communities.

 

[Lepanto]

I don’t understand why someone would want to join a religious community to be a social worker or an activist. You enter a religious congregation to be more closely united to Christ. Everything else can happen without being a sister.

You’re exactly right. That’s why we have the Peace Corp.

 

[Conservative]

I won’t post previous quotes but so far - I applaud everyone from OP, JREducation to Cloisters and then Lepanto…Lepanto, not only the history of your name (as in ‘Battle of’) but your post - is victorious !

JR - Thank you. While you are a convert to Catholicism, it’s amazing that it took a convert to say what many of us “cradle-Catholics” don’t - at least not aloud. (Oh, and I don’t mind the Sisters in habits…I liked it!) It seems that convents became ‘democratized’ as opposed to one Sister being the “Mother Superior” of old. If you have a democracy within the religious order, then where’s the vow of perfect obedience that we learned about as children? How can it be justified? The most obvious - and worst case scenario we all were witness to was the Sister who stood up in Washington, D.C., defying Pope John II during his U.S. visit.

I do think that in some ways the Sisters had a more austere lifestyle…recalling when I was a child that priests, for instance, smoked - but you never saw a Sister do so. I’m not condoning smoking but there was an interesting dividing line in what was permitted. But once the Sisters went democratic - they didn’t seem like Sisters any longer. I MISS them…may they rest in peace, since most of those I knew - are long deceased. Let’s resurrect their values !

 

[ac_claire]

Our proposed Cloister Outreach Foundations will be renewing some charisms (orders) which went “wiggy” after Vatican II, along with starting communities with charisms dealing with very modern-day issues.

Again, welcome home to Rome, and I hope the above explanation has helped.

Thank you for this discussion.

Cloisters- I take it you are a religious sister? Which order do you belong to, if you don’t mind my asking? PM me if you want. Also, is there a link for this Outreach you mentioned or is it still in proposal stage?

 

[JReducation]

Having grown up in the Jewish faith, I am sure there are some features of religious life that are probably more important to cradle Catholics than to a convert. I believe that’s understandable. It’s hard to miss what you never had, such as sisters in long flowing robes.

Nonetheless, Judaism is very rich in tradition and symbols. It has always struggled to maintain these traditions and protect them against a very secular society. As a child and later as an adult, I found that the connection between Catholicism and Judaism was through the symbols and the asceticism that Catholics inherited from Judaism.

For example, fasting, ritual, prayer, remembering what God has done for us through special celebrations is not a Catholic prerogative. These were the core of a spirituality that the first Christians, all Jews, brought with them to the Church. In my logic, it seems natural that if Perfectae Caritatis called religious men and women to recapture the spirit of their founders, that they would also recapture the spirit of the founding Christians.

The Acts of the Apostles is filled with stories of how the early Christians would rally around the Apostles to listen to the Word of God, celebrate the Eucharist and take care of those in need. This sequence is extremely important. One has to hear the Lord. Unless one listens one will not hear the call to union with the Lord. The fruit of that union is love.

When you turn the sequence around and begin with action your work runs the risk of being the product of your own making rather than the product of union with the Divine plan for humanity. Of course there is a lot to fix in this world. That’s a no brainer. But each of us has to focus on those needs that are consistent with the call that we have received.

This is where someone like me, who is new to Catholicism, finds a gap. Our world is plagued by greed, injustice and self-importance. No matter which way we cut the cake, all of the key players in world events are guilty, even our own country. When Benedict founded his first monasteries he had a vision of a city on a hill that shined like a light to society. In this city men or women were to be examples of a world where God reigns supreme and its inhabitants divided their time between prayer and work as Jesus and the Apostolic Church had done.

Reformers like Francis of Assisi, realizing that men had deviated from this paradigm set out to preach conversion. His poverty was not a love for hunger and squalor, but a detachment from everything that blocked his view of the life that Christ and the Apostles lived. In a letter that he wrote to Anthony of Padua he gave him and the Brothers permission to study theology at the university, “provided that it does not extinguish the spirit of prayer.” The question is where are these prayerful women today?

When Vincent de Paul founded the Daughters of Charity he deliberately did not give Louise the Marillac a habit. The old coronet that they wore was the common dress the working woman at the time. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton reproduced that spirit when she founded the Sisters of Charity in Emmetsburg. There were no veils or cloisters. But what Vincent, Louise and Elizabeth gave the sisters was a deep love for the Eucharist, prayer and sacrifice. The closer they got to the Lord in the Eucharist the stronger they became. Eventually they died in the service of the poor Christ. They didn’t run campaigns or great universities (there is nothing wrong with that) because it was not what Christ called them to do. He called them to contemplate him in the Eucharist, hear his word, celebrate his life and death in the liturgy, and serve him. The parting words of Louise de Marillac and Elizabeth Ann Seton to their daughters were the same, “Be children of the Church.”

I like Elizabeth very much, because she too was a convert. So I can relate to her.

Sorry for the rant.

 

[Cloisters]

In response to everyone who posted:

I am not a cradle Catholic, and I’m not a religious sister.

I converted at age 16, ten years after receiving a miraculous healing through the Blessed Virgin’s intercession–and receiving my mission to the cloisters from her.

JR–please review canon law 669 where it pertains to the habit. Vatican II never said to toss the habit. Yes, there is a lot of good being done by these sisters, but their witness would be more EFFECTIVE if they wore the habit. I know with what rebellious spirit they tossed the habit, and therefore, after seeing their “weird” behavior afterward, I count it as false witness, and a betrayal of the true idea of the Catholic religious life.

They tossed the habit in OPEN DEFIANCE of the Holy See. Jesus said “by their fruits you shall know them.” To me, the observation of St. Augustine concerning “virtuous pagans” pertains to them–all their good works are “glittering vices.”

Since these orders tossed the habit AND AUTHORITY in a spirit of defiance, they are essentially excommunicating themselves.

As I said in another thread, these convents have actually participated in neo-pagan rituals. I know for a fact that a “Catholic” neo-pagan started working for one of them. This “Catholic” had stated in a neo-pagan magazine that she was working to reunite Catholics with their pagan roots (whatever that means). Catholics had built Christian altars on top of pagan ones, so I guess that’s where her train of thought comes from–at least that’s what she said.

How do I know this? I had asked for a sample copy of said magazine to see if my sister was getting into Wicca through her New Age practices, and I somehow ended up with a year’s subscription. I was shocked and horrified (probably more of the latter) when I read how many “Catholics” are practicing neo-pagans.

The aforementioned “Catholic” neo-pagan was mentioned in an article that showed a habited sister offering incense to the four winds. This advisor also told the sisters to destroy the choir stalls of their larger chapel and build retreat cabins. Now they rent out the larger chapel and use the smaller one, because they don’t get vocations. (Go figure).

The link to our website is cloisters.tripod.com/

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[JReducation]

In response to everyone who posted: JR–please review canon law 669 where it pertains to the habit. Vatican II never said to toss the habit. Yes, there is a lot of good being done by these sisters, but their witness would be more EFFECTIVE if they wore the habit. Since these orders tossed the habit AND AUTHORITY in a spirit of defiance, they are essentially excommunicating themselves.

Thanks for the info. I don’t really want to derail the thread on the habit. The law is very clear that they are to wear the habit of the Institute and in those cases where the Institute has no habit (such as clerical Institutes, they should wear whatever is the norm). Also there are other parts in Canon Law where major superiors of Pontifical Institutes have certain rights to dispense with certain rules. In the case of Diocesan Institutes, the local Bishop has the same rights. In the case of Pontifical Institutes, their Consitutions must be approved by the Sacred Congreatation for Religious, which is an office of the Holy See. I remember reading the Constitutions of the Capuchin-Franciscans. They prescribe what the habit should be and added that the friars may dispense with the habit in conditions where it is not appropriate such as climate or culture. The Sacred Congregation approved it. For examples, Capuchins in China wear traditional Chines garb, rather than the brown robe with the hood. Capuchins in the USA were dispensed from wearing the beard, because at one time it was not the thing that a gentleman did. Today it’s fashionable. Go figure.

My point is that the canonical regulations that govern the habit have other regulations that give certain authority to the Bishop, Major Superior, the traditions of the Institute and the General Chapter. My question has to do with the daily life of a religious community. Of course, dress is part of how we present ourselves. I will not argue that. I still wear a kippah when I attend services with my family. I wear a very practical outfit to work with my autistic kids. It has become my trademark.

As I said, I have been a first-hand witness to the holiness of the Carmelite Sisters of Charity, whose use of the habit it very fluid and to the Sisters, Servants of the Immculate Heart of Mary, who also have a fluid rule about habits. Not as fluid as the Carmelites, because they all wear blue. The veil is optional.

What I’m addressing is how they live and how their lives impact those whom they touch. I understand that there are some communities that wear the traditional European habit and others who wear what is more of a 20th century design. Then you have communities like the Missionaries of Charity whose form of dress is actually Hindu.

I don’t believe that every community of sisters that has dropped the use of the European habit, did so to defy. I worked with the Missionary Servants of the Blessed Trinity, an American foundation, while I was in the missions. They never wore a habit, since their foundation. They always wore very conservative street clothes, usually black, grey or white.

My original post is not about habits. It’s about lifestyle. It’s a question. Can we help sisters understand how they can help all of us come closer to God?

I don’t know about everyone else, but I am drawn closer to God by a woman religious who is visibly prayerful, penitential, visibly poor, in love with her community and what it stands for, and in love with the Church rather than in conflict with the Church.

Religious women who come across as intellectual CEOs, whether in a hospital, social minsistry or in education, do little to inspire me to take a second look at how they live and what they value. I imagine that there are others who may walk away feeling the same way. “This is just another executive.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not canonizing the pre-Vatican II paradigm of religious life. From what I’ve read and the little I saw at a distance as a Jewish kid, there was a great deal of coldness and aloofness that needed to go.

I’ll share something interesting that I experienced. I went to work in South America for several years on a project for people with developmental disabilities. At the time, I was still Jewish, but I worked along with Franciscan Sisters. I believe they were a Colombian foundation. I also worked along with the Sisters of Divine Providence from Ecuador. I could feel the difference between these sisters and American sisters.

These sisters were very nurturing. They laughed, they hugged kids, they didn’t punish kids for their mistakes, but tried to brain-storm how to help the kids. They spent time with the kids’ families, even visiting their homes. However, every day at the prescribed time, they gathered together for prayer, silence, recreation, meals, Eucharist and study. They also had fasting and abstinence built into their weekly routine, over and beyond what the Church requires. I know tha the Franciscan sisters did it twice a week, because it’s in the rule of St. Francis.

This is what I’m asking. How can we help our sistes learn from these experiences. There are communities in the USA and abroad that are thriving and attract the attention of people like me. But there are too many communities who seem to have missed the boat completely. This is sad.