Can we marry if we have children?

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perico

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Hi there.

My wife and I are married only through the civil law and have one child together. We are both catholics. We would like to marry through the Church. Is this possible?
 
I don’t see why not. The Priest should be happy to see you marry in the Church. Speak to him and get it organized ASAP.
 
Unless either of you is previous divorced, yes.

Just out of curiosity, this isn’t the first time I’ve ever heard this kind of question—what made you think that you couldn’t get a Church wedding?
 
Having children does not keep you from marrying in the Church. The only thing that could keep you from marrying is if either of you had been married before. Please talk to your priest ASAP to find out what applies to your particular situation. Priests generally would really like to see people married in the Church so he should be helpful to you.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Just out of curiosity, this isn’t the first time I’ve ever heard this kind of question—what made you think that you couldn’t get a Church wedding?
Click to expand...
I can’t speak for the OP, but I think some people are concerned that their kids would somehow be considered sinful or illegitimate if they had them before marrying in the Church.
Which is not the case, the Church is happy to welcome the whole family.
 
I’m always surprised at some of the misconceptions about the Church.
I shouldn’t be, but I am…
 
Tis_Bearself said:
40.png
0Scarlett_nidiyilii:
Just out of curiosity, this isn’t the first time I’ve ever heard this kind of question—what made you think that you couldn’t get a Church wedding?
Click to expand...
I can’t speak for the OP, but I think some people are concerned that their kids would somehow be considered sinful or illegitimate if they had them before marrying in the Church.
Which is not the case, the Church is happy to welcome the whole family.
Click to expand...
This. The Magisterium teaches one should have children in marriage. For material/worldly reasons we did not marry in the Church before having children, but would like to do it now. Not sure we would be accepted. We are not divorced. Then we would like to baptise our baby too.

Thanks for your answers.
 
In the past, it would have been thought that a couple who were pregnant or who had a child together should get married and raise the child in a Christian family. Today, people worry that marriage is somehow abnormal. It shows us how much society has changed.
 
I don’t think people think marriage is abnormal so much as that it can be a pretty scary and big commitment. Sometimes the way the Church presents it can be offputting too. I am actually glad there was no internet full of Catholic articles on marriage when I got married, because the amount of prayer and discernment and this and that being pushed might have scared me worse than I already was about the whole idea of committing to a man for life. Some of us need less overthinking and more of just doing what comes naturally.
 
Yeah, no problem.
Children from previous relationship (or none at all) are not an impediment to marriage in the Church.

I had a friend many years back who was worried she would be denied a Church wedding because she and fiancé weren’t virgins. She couldn’t tell me where that belief came from, either. But she was worried about it. ( they did marry in the Church and they’re still married to this day. The priest didn’t even ask.)

I just don’t like that these misconceptions are out there because I wonder how many people don’t even try to get married in the Church from a wrong understanding 🙂

But anyhow, congratulations on your engagement and I’ll remember you all in my prayers ❤️
 
Perhaps you don’t want any other child, and you worry because when we marry we are supposed to accept the children God will send us?

Is that the case?

If yes, speak to your pastor.

If no, I don’t see impediment.

Do do the thing morally according the Church’s teaching, a catholic couple in a civil marriage only should wait the sacrament to have relationships. (But practically, most people who ask marriage in the Church, don’t care of such questions).
 
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On the contrary, your marriage legitimizes your children. Yes, it would have been better had you validly married before having children, and you will have to confess your sins (assuming you haven’t already), but marriage is valid purpose of amendment for fornicators.
 
perico said:
40.png
Tis_Bearself:
40.png
0Scarlett_nidiyilii:
Just out of curiosity, this isn’t the first time I’ve ever heard this kind of question—what made you think that you couldn’t get a Church wedding?
Click to expand...
I can’t speak for the OP, but I think some people are concerned that their kids would somehow be considered sinful or illegitimate if they had them before marrying in the Church.
Which is not the case, the Church is happy to welcome the whole family.
Click to expand...
This. The Magisterium teaches one should have children in marriage. For material/worldly reasons we did not marry in the Church before having children, but would like to do it now. Not sure we would be accepted. We are not divorced. Then we would like to baptise our baby too.

Thanks for your answers.
Click to expand...
Of course you would be accepted! The priest will most likely do a happy dance when you leave! 🙂

But seriously, this is wonderful news and Father should be able to help you receive the sacrament of matrimony and your baby to receive the sacrament of baptism.

God bless and Welcome Back Home to the Catholic Church!!!

God Bless and God Speed!!! 😀
 
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PaulfromIowa said:
In the past, it would have been thought that a couple who were pregnant or who had a child together should get married and raise the child in a Christian family. Today, people worry that marriage is somehow abnormal. It shows us how much society has changed.
Click to expand...
nahh… I think the difference is that today, far too many people are worried about getting divorced. They don’t want to marry the wrong person and get divorced (even if they already have a kid)

Millennials have seen far too many Baby boomers and Gen X couples getting divorced, so they are afraid of marrying the wrong person.
 
The Church is waiting with open arms to welcome your family back!!!
 
My wife and I were originally married outside the Church and were later married in the Church, after our children were born. Whenever it has come up, people in the Church have been very understanding. They know the culture we live in. I rejoice every time I go to Mass that I am able to fully participate and receive Jesus in the Eucharist. Talk to your priest and get it done!

(Regarding the question of illegitimacy, as far as I know, the only place it ever came up in canon law was if the child grew up and pursued a vocation to the priesthood. The Church had observed that parents of illegitimate children sometimes tried to hide the problem by sending the kid to a monastery to be formed as a priest, and the Church determined extra scrutiny was needed to prevent this. But first of all, a child was no longer considered illegitimate if his parents subsequently married, and even if they didn’t, the defect could be overcome in a number of ways. The current canon no longer mentions this barrier to ordination.)
 
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