Can we pray for a specific soul of someone who has died?

[MedievalCath]

I’m asking this question because I have heard that you cannot, since we do not know if that soul is damned. But rather, that we should pray generally for the souls in purgatory, or to be specific, we could pray for the souls who have most recently entered.

But yes, I’m asking whether this is aligned with Church teaching or if it’s wrong and we can actually pray for the soul of a specific person.

 

[CaptainPrudeman]

Yes, you can pray for a specific person. If they are not in purgatory, God may redirect those graces to others, or simply leave you with the graces which you attain by praying for the dead.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Of course you can pray for a specific dead person. When you go to Mass and the priest announces the Mass intention, “We pray for Bob and Jane Smith for whom this Mass is being offered,” there’s a 99 percent chance Bob and Jane are dead. And they may well have been dead for 30 years and the Mass was requested by their elderly child or by their grandchild. You’ll probably find a list of the recently deceased of the parish in the church bulletin also, with a request to please pray for their souls. And you’ll find names of people who died long ago on plaques and windows and statues in old churches, their names having been put there in 1920 or 1890 or whenever they paid for the window, in hopes you’ll pray for them when you see their name.

We don’t need to know where the dead soul is to pray for them. If the person doesn’t need prayers because they are in Heaven or in Hell, God uses the prayers for another soul in need. Or for some other important need.

I don’t know where you heard what you heard, but in view of the longstanding practice of offering Masses, prayer intentions, and indulgences for specific deceased souls, it is clearly wrong and whoever told it to you is either not Catholic or needs to go study their catechism again.

 

[Anesti33]

I can tell you one thing we don’t want to do, is to go around chirping that a certain deceased person is in Heaven. We are not the judges of souls, and we can’t be certain, in this life, the fate of someone after death, be it Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.

It seems chipper and pious to automatically canonize the deceased at his funeral, but that is not Catholic teaching. If we truly believed their souls were in Heaven, then they wouldn’t need our prayers, would they?

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I can tell you one thing we don’t want to do, is to go around chirping that a certain deceased person is in Heaven. We are not the judges of souls, and we can’t be certain, in this life, the fate of someone after death, be it Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.

It seems chipper and pious to automatically canonize the deceased at his funeral, but that is not Catholic teaching. If we truly believed their souls were in Heaven, then they wouldn’t need our prayers, would they?

This is true, but as an aside, we shouldn’t jump to correct people who say something like this to comfort a recently bereaved person. Sometimes trying to comfort someone who has just lost a family member or close friend is more important than being theologically correct.

 

[Anesti33]

Anesti33:

I can tell you one thing we don’t want to do, is to go around chirping that a certain deceased person is in Heaven. We are not the judges of souls, and we can’t be certain, in this life, the fate of someone after death, be it Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.

It seems chipper and pious to automatically canonize the deceased at his funeral, but that is not Catholic teaching. If we truly believed their souls were in Heaven, then they wouldn’t need our prayers, would they?

This is true, but as an aside, we shouldn’t jump to correct people who say something like this to comfort a recently bereaved person. Sometimes trying to comfort someone who has just lost a family member or close friend is more important than being theologically correct.

Certainly not in front of bereaved persons. But depending on my relationship with the person, I might take an opportunity to speak to them alone about the theological niceties of comforting bereaved people without giving them false hope, something that you must agree is a disservice.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I can tell you one thing we don’t want to do, is to go around chirping that a certain deceased person is in Heaven. We are not the judges of souls, and we can’t be certain, in this life, the fate of someone after death, be it Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.

It seems chipper and pious to automatically canonize the deceased at his funeral, but that is not Catholic teaching. If we truly believed their souls were in Heaven, then they wouldn’t need our prayers, would they?

Modern Americans are basically all Unitarian Universalists when it comes to questions about the eternal fate of the deceased. Put another way, everybody is assumed to have gone straight to heaven. It is at this point, that faithful Catholics have to decide whether they are going to adhere to their Faith, or let the larger society do their thinking for them.

Some of a more primitive, cruder way of thinking make an exception for certain executed convicts (never mind that those convicts have usually made their peace with God prior to the execution), and Christian fundamentalists of the “you’re either saved or you’re lost” school of thought would be an exception to this as well.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I might take an opportunity to speak to them alone about the theological niceties of comforting bereaved people without giving them false hope, something that you must agree is a disservice.

It could be, yeah. You don’t want people to get the idea that everyone automatically goes to Heaven so no need to worry about how you live your life. On the other hand, the context for someone saying “I’m sure they’re in a better place now” or “don’t worry, they’re with Jesus now” is Aunt Cathy is devastated that Uncle Frank keeled over, and it’s not the time or place to go “well, actually, it’s also possible that Uncle Frank is in hell…”

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Anesti33:

I might take an opportunity to speak to them alone about the theological niceties of comforting bereaved people without giving them false hope, something that you must agree is a disservice.

It could be, yeah. You don’t want people to get the idea that everyone automatically goes to Heaven so no need to worry about how you live your life. On the other hand, the context for someone saying “I’m sure they’re in a better place now” or “don’t worry, they’re with Jesus now” is Aunt Cathy is devastated that Uncle Frank keeled over, and it’s not the time or place to go “well, actually, it’s also possible that Uncle Frank is in hell…”

Well, I do think that way, but then again, I am of the Wednesday Addams school of theology, I suppose. Back in the day, they called that “just being a Catholic”.

I once commented to my father, on seeing a coffin being carried out of a cathedral while we were on vacation, “well, his problems are all over now, or else they’re just beginning”.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I once commented to my father, on seeing a coffin being carried out of a cathedral while we were on vacation, “well, his problems are all over now, or else they’re just beginning”.

But that was you talking to your dad about a stranger. Of course you were able to talk about it in a detached, rational way. If your dad had been holding back tears because it was one of his parents in the coffin, saying “hey dad, don’t forget it’s possible grandma is in hell!” might have been technically correct, but it would incredibly callous and ill-timed.

I’m just saying there’s a time to be theologically precise and there’s a time to just be pastoral.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

If your dad had been holding back tears because it was one of his parents in the coffin, saying “hey dad, don’t forget it’s possible grandma is in hell!” might have been technically correct, but it would incredibly callous and ill-timed.

I’m just saying there’s a time to be theologically precise and there’s a time to just be pastoral.

Absolutely, I would keep those thoughts to myself at that time.

But unless she had died with the last sacraments of the Church, or had lived such a manifestly virtuous life that her salvation would seem to be a foregone conclusion, they would still be my thoughts.

We always need, every day of our lives, to reflect upon the pitched battle that will take place at the end of our lives, between the forces of evil and the superabundant grace of God. The Orthodox allude to as much in their pious belief in “toll houses” after death.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Aunt Cathy is devastated that Uncle Frank keeled over, and it’s not the time or place to go “well, actually, it’s also possible that Uncle Frank is in hell…”

I am pretty sure there are people on this forum who, in their great desire to catechize Aunt Cathy and “correct” any error in her thinking, would say something like that to her at the wake.
And then be mystified why she broke down in tears and told them to get lost instead of accepting God’s Truth.

But unless she had died with the last sacraments of the Church, or had lived such a manifestly virtuous life that her salvation would seem to be a foregone conclusion, they would still be my thoughts.

That’s fine, as long as you acted upon your thoughts by saying some prayers for the deceased person, or did an indulgence for them, or had Masses said for them.

My old friend is dying right now and will be gone any day, and every day I am asking God to help him cross over peacefully and take him home, and asking Jesus, Mary, and various saints to please intercede and help. When my friend finally passes, I will do the indulgence and put the Gregorian Mass request in, and then I will feel confident that loving and merciful God will take care of my friend, and I will turn my attention towards praying for the next batch of souls in my list of deceased. There will be no need for me to sit around thinking, “Well, actually Friend might be in hell…” because I trust in my Merciful Father.

 

[Zaccheus]

@MedievalCath

Most certainly we may pray for specific people. I pray daily for my mother and father, both of whom died many years ago.
If your beloved is already in Heaven your prayer will not be wasted. God will have mercy upon some other soul, or at least grant you the merits for having prayed.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

HomeschoolDad:

But unless she had died with the last sacraments of the Church, or had lived such a manifestly virtuous life that her salvation would seem to be a foregone conclusion, they would still be my thoughts.

That’s fine, as long as you acted upon your thoughts by saying some prayers for the deceased person, or did an indulgence for them, or had Masses said for them.

My old friend is dying right now and will be gone any day, and every day I am asking God to help him cross over peacefully and take him home, and asking Jesus, Mary, and various saints to please intercede and help. When my friend finally passes, I will do the indulgence and put the Gregorian Mass request in, and then I will feel confident that loving and merciful God will take care of my friend, and I will turn my attention towards praying for the next batch of souls in my list of deceased. There will be no need for me to sit around thinking, “Well, actually Friend might be in hell…” because I trust in my Merciful Father.

I would do precisely that. I cannot afford to have Masses said for everyone in my acquaintance who dies. I do intend to arrange Gregorian Masses for those in my immediate family, when that time has to come.

I never cease to be inspired by your apostolate of care for the souls of the departed.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I feel like praying for the dead is what God has called me to do.
Someone has to do it, and it’s something i can do. (And others do too - there’s at least one other person on here who does daily indulgence practice.)

There are many, many other acts of charity where I dropped the ball and did a lousy job or just don’t feel cut out to do it at all. Anything I manage to do is with God’s help and God working through me because I am not capable of even getting up in the morning without his help.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I feel like praying for the dead is what God has called me to do.
Someone has to do it, and it’s something i can do. (And others do too - there’s at least one other person on here who does daily indulgence practice.)

There are many, many other acts of charity where I dropped the ball and did a lousy job or just don’t feel cut out to do it at all. Anything I manage to do is with God’s help and God working through me because I am not capable of even getting up in the morning without his help.

Sometimes I have to sit on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes myself. Nobody is getting any younger. (One of my 60th birthday presents to myself was an Ace steel splint glove for my arthritic right wrist. Sleeping in it has done a world of good.)

You are going to have quite the fan club in heaven. Thank you so much for this great spiritual work of mercy.

 

[JanR]

Most Christian fundamentalists don’t believe in Purgatory. Thank goodness we can – it’s a clear indication of God’s mercy. It means that even if we haven’t lived perfect lives, we may still have a shot at getting into heaven.

I agree that we shouldn’t automatically assume a departed loved one is in heaven, because we simply don’t know. But we can wish the very best for that person, pray for that soul, and trust God’s righteous judgment with the actual outcome.

Easier said than done, I know, when we’ve lost someone we’ve loved very dearly. It’s best to offer condolences to the bereaved, and let it go at that. Just say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Then say no more, and be a good listener if the bereaved needs to talk.

 

[JanR]

RolandThompsonGunner:

Aunt Cathy is devastated that Uncle Frank keeled over, and it’s not the time or place to go “well, actually, it’s also possible that Uncle Frank is in hell…”

I am pretty sure there are people on this forum who, in their great desire to catechize Aunt Cathy and “correct” any error in her thinking, would say something like that to her at the wake.
And then be mystified why she broke down in tears and told them to get lost instead of accepting God’s Truth.

But unless she had died with the last sacraments of the Church, or had lived such a manifestly virtuous life that her salvation would seem to be a foregone conclusion, they would still be my thoughts.

That’s fine, as long as you acted upon your thoughts by saying some prayers for the deceased person, or did an indulgence for them, or had Masses said for them.

My old friend is dying right now and will be gone any day, and every day I am asking God to help him cross over peacefully and take him home, and asking Jesus, Mary, and various saints to please intercede and help. When my friend finally passes, I will do the indulgence and put the Gregorian Mass request in, and then I will feel confident that loving and merciful God will take care of my friend, and I will turn my attention towards praying for the next batch of souls in my list of deceased. There will be no need for me to sit around thinking, “Well, actually Friend might be in hell…” because I trust in my Merciful Father.

That is beautiful! If we can’t trust God, we can’t trust anyone. His Will is righteous, and He is Love as pure and true as it can possibly be. That in itself should be reassuring. We do our best, trust God, then don’t worry about it. A great source of peace for us, isn’t it?

 

[Montrose]

It seems chipper and pious to automatically canonize the deceased at his funeral, but that is not Catholic teaching. If we truly believed their souls were in Heaven, then they wouldn’t need our prayers, would they?

However, they may be in Purgatory and we pray for those souls.

 

[Mintaka]

Probably the best way to tackle the subject with someone grieving, who is Catholic and should know, is just to say that you’re going to pray for that person’s soul.

Pretty easy to say, it’s already something you were going to do, it doesn’t freak anybody out, and it says it all without being mean or tacky.