Can we raise Jewish/Catholic children?

[marrowsm]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year-and-a-half. We love each other very much and have recently been considering marriage. I think that we are a great match. However, he is Jewish and I am Catholic. Religion is important to both of us. I do not expect him to convert and I have been quite clear that I do not plan on converting. The issue develops when we talk about how we would want to raise children. We have considered raising them with both religions. I think the Jewish faith and holy days teach good morals and values. And learning more about the Jewish faith would show more about where the Catholic faith comes from. However, I would want my children to believe in Jesus as well. Is it possible to raise Jewish/Catholic children? Does the Catholic Church allow children to be confirmed if they have had a bar/bat mitzvah as well?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

No, a Catholic cannot raise a child as both a practicing Jew and a practicing Catholic at the same time. A Catholic must promise to do his or her best to raise children Catholic, and nothing else. While Catholics of Jewish heritage may choose to commemorate Jewish holidays as a means of identifying with their heritage, no Catholic can be both a faithful Catholic and practice a non-Christian religion at the same time. And, from a Jewish perspective, you are unlikely to find a rabbi who will allow children raised Catholic with faith in Jesus as Messiah to have a bar or bat mitzvah. Rabbis who work with interfaith families do so on the presumption that the children will be raised as practicing Jews.

It is also worth noting that since your boyfriend would be the father and you, as a Catholic, the mother, most Jewish communities will not recognize your children to be Jewish without their full and total conversion to Judaism. This is because Jewish identity is passed through the mother. A Catholic cannot agree to allow his or her children to be converted to a non-Christian religion. If it is important to your boyfriend to raise his children to be Jews, he should be trying to find a Jewish wife.

As for you, the Church strongly discourages interfaith marriage, in part because of the issues you are just beginning to face and in part because it is easiest to create Catholic families when Catholics marry Catholics. What I said about your boyfriend applies to you also: If it is important to you to raise your children to be Catholics, you should be trying to find a Catholic husband.