Can you confess while in civil marriage only?

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azgomez08

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I have been told that you cannot confess if you are not married through the church.
 
You can go to Confession, but part of the expectation of recieving absolution is the intention to sin no more.
If you remain to cohabitate and (most likely) commit mortal sin, the priest cannot absove you since you have no resolution to sin no more
 
Yes, a priest may even require you to no longer share the bed with your wife. It’s really harsh, because the church is interfering with very personal and intimate issues here. So many couples are cohabiting, but once they are legally married, you can no longer give the benefit of doubt. It’s frustrating.
 
How is the Church being harsh? She is trying to save the souls of these people from mortal sin… If anything, that’s really merciful.
 
You will begin to see things differently once you are the one who has to keep a distance from your wife who you love.
 
If you love her, why would you bring her into mortal sin with yourself?

Would you unnessecarily make her walk through a crime-filled area of a city?

Because that’s what you’re doing by cohabitating before mariage, except instead of being in physical, temporal danger, you place her eternal soul at risk.
 
You must marry before you can live together.
Otherwise you are in grievous sin.
 
Physical intimacy is an important aspect of living with your spouse. No physical relations can lead to mutual estrangement. By denying marital relations, the church is endangering the relationship in a way. After all, they are married - if only civilly. This must be worth something - the more so, if children are involved.
 
You can want all kinds of things, but in reality, you can only do so much. There are many scenarios where legally married couples may not be able to marry in the church, for example due to previous marriages.
 
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Have you actually attempted to rectify your situation.

Not directed at you. People who marry outside the Church should know the consequences before doing so and then do the paperwork/marry in the Church.
 
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Believe me, there are cases where there is no simple, “pragmatic” solution. And while objectively, having marital relations with a person who is not your spouse is a sin (fully agree with you on that), the church teachings in these cases will appear harsh. Probably pastoral approaches need to be found here: If Amoris Laetitia applies to divorced and remarried, why not also the people only civilly married?
 
Constantin said:
Believe me, there are cases where there is no simple, “pragmatic” solution. And while objectively, having marital relations with a person who is not your spouse is a sin (fully agree with you on that), the church teachings in these cases will appear harsh. Probably pastoral approaches need to be found here: If Amoris Laetitia applies to divorced and remarried, why not also the people only civilly married?
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If the only impediment is that you were married outside the Church, it’s an easy fix, get the marriage convalidated.
 
Again, I don’t want to discuss single cases or my specific scenario. IMHO, there should be a general answer by the church to today’s conditions. Many people have a “past” or need to compromise one way or another.
 
You don’t have to do anything the Church tells you to do, it’s all volunteer and that’s the point. There isn’t any coercion. They give guidance that’s well founded and meant to help you find the right way, and you have to decide if you’re going to follow it.
 
I would challenge that. There is a kind of mental coercion. If having sex with your wife is potentially a mortal sin, which might endanger your salvation, I would definitely call that pressure!
 
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Maximilian75 said:
If you remain to cohabitate and (most likely) commit mortal sin, the priest cannot absove you since you have no resolution to sin no more
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There are those who are basically “stuck” cohabitating at least for a period of time. That doesn’t mean they lack a sincere resolution to not commit sin. It likewise doesn’t mean that they refuse to avoid the near occasion of sin: some people genuinely can live in the same house and not particularly have much of a temptation to engage in the marital act together.

The ideal is that a cahabtating couple separate and work on getting married. But there are certainly less-than-ideal circumstances which nonetheless can result in absolution while a situation is being rectified. The conditions are that the couple not engage in sex, that they avoid near occasions of sin, and that they do not offer scandal.
 
It’s not coercion to show people the right way to live and point out the consequences of living the wrong way. The Church doesn’t punish you for making bad decisions, and they certainly don’t threaten to punish, they just tell you how it is. They’re pointing out the truth.
 
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To the orginial poster. Make a call and set up a time to talk privately with your priest. He will help you get things set right.
 
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