Can you dress differently, while being modest?

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Lorrnae

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When I mean dress diffrently, I mean take things form many different subcultures (goth fashion, punk fashion, emo fahion, urban fashion, etc. modestly - as in no mini-skirts, low cut tops, etc.), and mixing them together (without showing skin). I like to get creative and mix them together, it’s like my “artistic output”.

Wouldn’t that be drawing attention to yourself?

What if you did it for yourself, not because you want attention? Dressing creatively does get attention, because it’s different. But suppose, you do it because it’s expressing yourself? And it happens to cause attention. Is that still being modest? Does that mean I can’t dress like that anymore, and I have to blend in?

I’m seriously confused.
 
Whenever I come across someone dressed ‘differently’, or with a different look, I sometimes double take, b/c it is different. Then I might notice various parts of the outfit/person, admire them, or maybe give a laugh, and move on. No big deal. Clothing/hair color/piercings, ect are not that big a deal, to me, in the grand scheme of things.
Glad to know people are willing to step outside the box and be individuals. As you stated, you keep it modest, so I see no problem there.
Lots of times, I wish I had the courage to dress a little more individually myself. So I say go for it, and enjoy it!
 
Remember that non-believers look to you as an example of what the Church is. If you act & dress like everyone else, they will think “So the Catholic Church is no different than mine…”

Just a thought…
 
How people dress in public is their own business, and doesn’t affect me as long as their private parts are covered.

Unfortunately, as an employer, I may not hire someone who comes in dressed GOTH. My employees are representatives of my company.

I have seen (too many times) how sales figures will decline if our sales person is sporting something like a mowhawk, or wearing all black.

I’ve also witnessed that these people are treated differently at doctors offices and hospitals. It doesn’t matter how much pain they are in, they are viewed as “drug seekers” more often than not.

We should be judged on who we are, and not what we wear. There again… if we are dressing to express ourselves, then we are what we wear.
 
😃
Lorrnae said:
When I mean dress diffrently, I mean take things form many different subcultures (goth fashion, punk fashion, emo fahion, urban fashion, etc. modestly - as in no mini-skirts, low cut tops, etc.), and mixing them together (without showing skin). I like to get creative and mix them together, it’s like my “artistic output”.

Wouldn’t that be drawing attention to yourself?

What if you did it for yourself, not because you want attention? Dressing creatively does get attention, because it’s different. But suppose, you do it because it’s expressing yourself? And it happens to cause attention. Is that still being modest? Does that mean I can’t dress like that anymore, and I have to blend in?

I’m seriously confused.
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Dont be confused. Look, i am 42 yrs. old and I love a little “different” too----it is possible to be modest and have a particular love of style or pretty things too. I get a kick out of buying glittery gels and “comb-in” blue and red stuff for my both of my older daughters…and every once in a while I might try some on and slip out to have dinner with my husband like that. 😉
Nobody particularly gives me a second look----maybe becasue I don’t sport the emo or Goth get-up along with it 😃 Now that would be weird to see me that way. :rotfl:

I always tell my daughters that there is nothing wrong with certain fashions as long as they cover the “essentials” and don’t sport satanic symbols. And it is okay to wear one or two items that are “connected” with a style along with other clothes . And whether we were Catholic Christians or not, I would still tell my daughters it is boring to dress like a label, in other words, don’t wear an entire “costume” (shoes, socks, skirt, blouse, hair)that will have people say “Oh she’s emo” or “oh she’s a goth” ----Leave people guessing! Make them work to get to know you, instead of them seeing the “Outfit” and *assuming * certain things that aren’t necessarily true about you. You are WAY more complex than that.

God Bless you, and I hope I didn’t confuse you more

added: To answer your question more specifically (sorry for the rant)—if you are doing it FOR the attention, then it isn’t modest to be that way. If you are doing it to feel good about yourself despite attention, then that is not against modesty. if you are wearing clothing that covers your body properly and you aren’t an occasion of sexual sin to someone else staring at you, then the “immodesty” could hardly be considered a sin—maybe a fault, but we aslo want to get rid of faults.
 
Who cares if it draws attention to yourself? I get funny looks everywhere I go and I don’t mind. That said, the reason I dress the way I do isn’t to receive attention, its to show that I refuse to go along with the newest trends and hopefully other people will do that too. People who say its just for attention don’t know the reasons we do stuff like dress funky. They just assume. Don’t listen, don’t be discouraged. Being Catholic is all about being different, so if you want to look different just do it.

Pax
 
DaughterOfLight said:
Remember that non-believers look to you as an example of what the Church is. If you act & dress like everyone else, they will think “So the Catholic Church is no different than mine…”

Just a thought…
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On the other hand I saw a “biker” in his leather who looked like someone from the Hell’s Angels. He was sitting one table away from me at the local Panera Bread restaurant eating dinner with a woman who appeared to be his old frail mother. He had a patch on the side of his leather vest saying “THESE ARE MY CHURCH CLOTHES” and on the back was a huge circular patch proclaiming faith in Jesus.

Someone viewing him at a distance might be afraid. Upon closer inspection he was obviously a big friendly guy who dressed like a biker, had long hair and a scraggly beard and loved the Lord.

Viewing him was like looking at an advertisement for Christianity. In essence, his clothes were evangelizing for Christ. Honestly I was drawn to him because of his clothes and his message did not go unnoticed.

As we are the UNIVERSAL church, should we not appeal to ALL people, and not just those who dress modestly or within the public/societal norms 🤷
 
melensdad said:
On the other hand I saw a “biker” in his leather who looked like someone from the Hell’s Angels. He was sitting one table away from me at the local Panera Bread restaurant eating dinner with a woman who appeared to be his old frail mother. He had a patch on the side of his leather vest saying “THESE ARE MY CHURCH CLOTHES” and on the back was a huge circular patch proclaiming faith in Jesus.

Someone viewing him at a distance might be afraid. Upon closer inspection he was obviously a big friendly guy who dressed like a biker, had long hair and a scraggly beard and loved the Lord.

Viewing him was like looking at an advertisement for Christianity. In essence, his clothes were evangelizing for Christ. Honestly I was drawn to him because of his clothes and his message did not go unnoticed.

As we are the UNIVERSAL church, should we not appeal to ALL people, and not just those who dress modestly or within the public/societal norms 🤷
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well said
 
Homebrew_roots said:
well said
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Well as I have NEVER been accused of being stylish in my life, and as I often wear Hawaiian style shirts in the middle of winter, it seemed appropriate to point out the opposing view.

But it often seems than many Catholics here cover their bodies from chin to toes and then throw a veil on top of their heads . . . while I doubt many actually do, they often give that impression when talking about “modest” dress.

We don’t all have to be puritan in our dress, we don’t all have to conform to some look as if we worked at IBM and had to wear dark suits, white shirts and a red power tie. We can be individuals in how we dress, and be good Catholics.

Now, women should not dress like wanton sluts and men should not wear Speedo suits when lounging by the pool. But we can dress differently if we wish, still be modest within the context of the surroundings (modest at the beach is different than modest at Church, school or work) and we can be good Catholics while we have fun with our clothes. So next time you see a middle aged man wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt in the winter in the Chicago area, come up to me and say HI.
 
pyropam said:
Unfortunately, as an employer, I may not hire someone who comes in dressed GOTH. My employees are representatives of my company.

I have seen (too many times) how sales figures will decline if our sales person is sporting something like a mowhawk, or wearing all black.
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What’s wrong with all black? My church clothes invole black dress pants and a black blouse:shrug: Why should it matter if it’s black or white as long as it’s modest and professional looking.
 
I think that, for the most part, if an outfit is modest and tasteful, there’s nothing wrong with being a little more “colorful” than regular clothes, especially if it reflects one’s own personality. I think it’s best to tone the color down a bit during the Holy Mass, since the focal point of the Mass ought always to be our Lord Jesus, and anything flashy will most certainly draw attention there. That said, I think you ought to express yourself artistically in your clothing and do it for the right reasons. Sounds like you’ve got those. 😉
 
It doesn’t sound like you’re deliberately dressing immodestly.

What should we think of these scripture verses though?

1 Tim. 2:9-10 – women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but by good deeds, as befits women who profess religion.

1 Peter 3:2-4 – Peter commands women to reverent and chaste behavior, which includes modest dress. Peter warns against the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

How modest should women be then?

1 Cor. 11:14-15 – “Does not nature itself teach you that for a man to wear long hair is degrading to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her pride?

Does this mean I have to get a hair cut? 🤷
 
What does Emo mean? Emo Phillips? “Just call me Mr. Butterfingers.”
 
JimG, thanks for the definition.

I can’t tell its difference from punk, but then again, the site mentioned that it is similar to goth and punk.
 
I must set the record straight here.

Emo is almost the exact opposite of punk. Emo kids do like to try to get the fashion ideas from punks, but that is as close as it comes. Emo kids are typically whiny and focus on emotions (always depressing ones)and how awful their lives are. Apparently they think that everyone else’s lives are peachy all the time. Emo has their own kind of music which is no where near punk music. Normally emo music features a whiny voiced guy singing about heartbreak.

Punk kids dont focus on being sad all the time. they usually focus on social injustice and things like that. The punk kids typically look down on the emo kids and see them as crybabies.

I dont mean to be too terribly harsh on the emo kids, but I personally can’t stand them. That said, I also don’t claim to be a punk, some people would say I am. But i do sympathize with their culture much more than the emo culture. They at least try to create change for good…usually. They don’t sit around and just focus on their feelings/depression all day.
 
ryanoneil said:
It doesn’t sound like you’re deliberately dressing immodestly.

What should we think of these scripture verses though?

1 Tim. 2:9-10 – women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but by good deeds, as befits women who profess religion.

1 Peter 3:2-4 – Peter commands women to reverent and chaste behavior, which includes modest dress. Peter warns against the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

How modest should women be then?

1 Cor. 11:14-15 – “Does not nature itself teach you that for a man to wear long hair is degrading to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her pride?

Does this mean I have to get a hair cut? 🤷
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Does it mean God doesn’t want me braiding my hair? What’s sinful about a braid? :confused: I actually think it draws less attention to me when I braid it/put it up, than when loose.

Around here, almost all women my age wear jeans. I wear skirts/dresses 99% of the time. Not in a concerted effort to be modest, though most of them are - loose fitting and most come just below the knee, lots of bohemian patterns, I pair them with black, opaque stockings and various heels/boots in the fall/winter, bare legs and sandals in the spring/summer. It’s just my personal style. It’s more objectively modest than the girls in their tight jeans (though my husband says the way I dress is sexier 😊 but I stick out like a sore thumb.

Is modesty also about not drawing attention to youself? Or is that when it becomes the other person’s issue/problem, and not yours?
 
Who invented Emo? Is it the same person that invented Elmo, the downfall of Sesame Street?
 
NoxSineStellae said:
Does it mean God doesn’t want me braiding my hair? What’s sinful about a braid? :confused: I actually think it draws less attention to me when I braid it/put it up, than when loose.

Around here, almost all women my age wear jeans. I wear skirts/dresses 99% of the time. Not in a concerted effort to be modest, though most of them are - loose fitting and most come just below the knee, lots of bohemian patterns, I pair them with black, opaque stockings and various heels/boots in the fall/winter, bare legs and sandals in the spring/summer. It’s just my personal style. It’s more objectively modest than the girls in their tight jeans (though my husband says the way I dress is sexier 😊 but I stick out like a sore thumb.

Is modesty also about not drawing attention to youself? Or is that when it becomes the other person’s issue/problem, and not yours?
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Someone explained to me once that the passage isn’t against any braids just against very extreme hairstyles. We tend to think that the only cultures that have ever had intricate braid work is African but that isn’t true. Apparently some of the women of the time were putting a lot of attention into their hair and not into their spiritual lifes.

I think that some of the southern women that I know who put on alot of makeup and spend alot of money and time on their hair, even though it isn’t braided, would be covered by this passage.
 
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