Can you go to heaven if you're not a Catholic?

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My boyfriend and I were talking about kids. Not that we are going to have any in the near future, but we figure it’s always good to talk about the future together. And the subject of kids came up. Now, he’s a Christian (Protestant) and he doesn’t like the idea of his kids being raised Catholic, since it isn’t his religion, but there aren’t many differences between his religion and mine. But, I told him I want my kids to be raised Catholic, at which point he asked what was the point of us being together if we can’t decide even what religion to raise kids if we have them. I am pretty distraught over this. We both want to be together because we love each other very much, but the issue of our children’s religion is rapidly becoming an issue. I just want to know a few things. Can you still go to heaven even if you aren’t Catholic? Do you believe that by being Christian/Protestant you could still go to heaven? Because I personally have always believe that if you are a good person and obey the commandments and believe in God and his son Jesus, then you can go to heaven, but I never asked a priest or anyone else about this, so I don’t really know for sure. So, any information you could give me would be greatly appreciated. And I’m sorry this was such a long description, I just didn’t know how else to write this.
 
To answer the thread title, yes you can go to heaven if you’re not Catholic. You can read more about it here - slightly complicated, but you should get the general idea. catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=4085

However, if you want more info about mixed marriages, take a look at these parts of the Catechism - specifically paragraph 1635 saying that you have to baptise and educate the children in the Catholic Church, and let your boyfriend know about this.

I hope he can accept this. God bless.

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Mixed marriages and disparity of cult
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1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
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There is an old saying: “Love is blind. But the neighbors aren’t.”

One of the harder things to do is to take a dispassionate look at a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The best I can suggest is that you seek out married couples who are in Catholic/non Catholic marriages and ask them about how they are getting along on the issue.

You will find that often you have one strong partner and one weak one in terms of faith, or at least in terms of the exercise of their faith. In these, you may find that one doesn’t care, and that doesn’t match what you are in.

In others you may find echos of your relationship; and I would be surprised if they would not all agree that marriage is hard enough without having people divided about their faith.

and if you find a couple in shich both are strong in their faith, you will most likely find that one or the other is at the minimum sad, if not heart broken, over which faith the children are raised in.

The Church does not say that mixed marriages won’t work, but in her wisdom, she does say that it can be hazardous to your own religious background, to your faith, and is subject to unnecessary heartache.

The “love is blind” bit is that people in love convince themselves that they are different, that they can make it work, that somehow, the other couples experiences just don’t relate to their own.

Then they wake up one day and realize that there was more wisdom in the advice of not getting married than they ever wanted to know about.

The question is not whether or not others besides Catholics can get to heaven. The question is whether you and he both can keep your integrity about your religious beliefs and raise a family without unnecessary heartache, or abandoning that faith. don’t presume he will convert. Many don’t.

Don’t assume that he will be able to deal with what may be deep seated convictions in a way that you want. He may not be able to.
 
In your post, you don’t say how old you are. You might want to search around this Forum for previous discussions on this topic.

However, marriage itself requires a tremendous amount of work on the part of both husband and wife. It’s not all romance.

If there is a serious issue on which they do not agree, such as religion and how to raise their children, then it is difficult to see how harmony can take place.

As painful as this may seem, it is good to identify these issues now. And if there is no movement by either party, then it might be best to dissolve the relationship now rather than either make a fatal compromise later OR to dissolve a marriage.

At the very least, you should see your priest and ask for a reference for marriage counseling … pre-marriage.
 
I agree, do a search and take a look at all the threads relating to mixed marriages.

Though some have had good experiences, many find that this disagreement is a source of great… turmoil.
 
There are several questions you have to resolve for yourself and for your partner. One is can you accept another faith that you believe is seriously flawed or conversely can your partner be open enough to really read up about your faith to maybe convert or least agree to let his children be raised Catholic.

I’ve been married to a non-Catholic for over 30 years, and it is a difficult road to travel. Far tougher than if we were of the same faith. The one factor than has kept up together is my wife can accept me being a devout Catholic. We did decide early on that our kids would be raised Catholic. But even then there are many points of contention. Disagreements on birth control, pro-life, number of kids, etc can often be sources of big debates or arguments.

You will have arguments anyway but you will have many more if you do not share the same faith.

My wife is not part of any organized faith. IF she were a strong Baptist or one of the fundalmentalist groups, I think our marriage would have been dead in the water from the beginning. Some protestant groups are strongly anti-Catholic, to the point that they think we are satan worpshippers. Others are fairly similar, but just disagree on a few but key issues.

IF you both truly want to persue a life together I suggest he reads a few of the books by converts who found Catholicism to be even more Biblical than their own Bible-only beliefs. Scott Hahn has serveral books that list testimonies of converts some of whom were former protestant ministers.

IF after having sincerely researched what our faith is all about, and he still thinks Catholicism is not right for him or his children, then I think you both should consider looking elsewhere for a match.

Marriage takes a lot of work and compromise, but neither one should compromise on their core beliefs. Your partner is correct that you really need to resolve this before you get engaged.

BTW I do believe you CAN get to Heaven if you are not Catholic, I fully expect to see my wife and parents in Heaven even though none of them are Catholic. I do NOT believe that God sends good people to hell just because they can not accept our faith. Even Pope John Paul II said something to that effect.
 
My wife is a devout Catholic and works as a church secretary at a Methodist church. (They wanted someone who would not get involved in their internal politics.)

She is probably the first and only Catholic any of the Methodists have ever met. They are shocked because she is such a decent person.

And whenever one of the ministers wanted to do something like distributing ashes on Ash Wednesday, the congregation would demand that he or she NOT distribute ashes… why??? Because it is too Catholic.

They really I don’t want to use the “hate” word, but …] the Catholic Church… they may not advertise it, but their actions are all very hostile to Catholicism.

So, keep in mind, when contemplating a mixed-religion marriage that the non-Catholic individual may, when push comes to shove, be less than charitable to the Catholic spouse’s religious practices and beliefs.
 
I think you’ve gotten some great advice so far.

My husband is not Catholic and is not really anything. He believes in God and pretty much lives by the golden rule but he has never been baptised or anything.

We got married in the Catholic Church and our DD was baptised (somewhat against his will) and our DS will be baptised when he is born. DH thinks that you should give the kid a choice to be baptised and not just do it when they are babies.

I reminded him that by marrying in the Catholic church he signed a contract that said he would raise any future children Catholic. 😉

Good luck. If my husband was devout in some religion it would have been much harder. I got lucky enough to get one that doesn’t care.
 
Well, some of you know my story.

My last girlfriend and I broke up cause she is a Protestant preacher’s daughter. I, only the other hand, am a devout Catholic.

I had no problem with her being Protestant, just so long as my kids were baptised.

Of course, her father did, and eventually convinced her that I was going to hell, and she can’t let her children do that.

I never quite understood it. The foundation of the Protestant religion is that if you have faith in Jesus Christ, accept him as your personal Lord and savior, you go to Heaven. I did that. So will my children. So what’s the big deal? Oh yeah, that one word…“Catholic”. He would of prefered me to be a tattoo’d biker boy who treated his daughter like trash just so long as I was a Baptist and a “Christian”, if I acted like one or not.

Whatever. I consider it her loss, I am a catch and a half. 😃 (Tell your friends ladies. 21 in North Carolina :P)

I would consider a mixed marriage if my partner would agree to raise my children Catholic. But even still, there would be a gaping hole in our relationship because I love the Catholic Church so much and I wouldn’t be able to talk with her about it.

Nothing but a good Catholic girl next time for me.

Adam
 
i snagged myself a great Lutheran girl… who started going to mass with me…and now the conversation has been turning to “how do i become Catholic”… took 4 years… but lots of prayers and rosaries later… and here she is, talking of converting…

so don’t always think in rigid “I WILL ALWAYS DO THIS” - ya never know where the Holy Spirit will take you.
 
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thechrismyster:
i snagged myself a great Lutheran girl… who started going to mass with me…and now the conversation has been turning to “how do i become Catholic”… took 4 years… but lots of prayers and rosaries later… and here she is, talking of converting…

so don’t always think in rigid “I WILL ALWAYS DO THIS” - ya never know where the Holy Spirit will take you.
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This is a serious thing you are considering. Follow God’s Will in all you do. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Continue to discuss this issue with you boyfriend and be prepared to let him go! God should come first and with this all else will follow.

Like thechrismyster has said in the above quote, it can happen. I have been married to a Lutheran for 27 years now and was strong in my faith, he knew that before we married, he knew that if push came to shove, he would have to go but with prayer and daily communion we were married in a Catholic Wedding ceremony (no Mass, not only were my new in-laws all Lutheran but many of our friends were Protestants too, came from a very Protestant area). My husband has not converted but I do believe he has in his heart, his beliefs are incredibly Catholic although he still has issues with such dogmas as Transubstantiation vs. co-Substantiation, Mary’s perpetual virginity and assumption into heaven.

Again, be very ready to let your boyfriend go his way and you yours! This is no small issue you are talking about and it is much better to recognize that now rather than when you are married and pregnant!

We will all be here for you and with you as you grieve the loss of this relationship or be joyous with you as things move the other way.

Brenda V.
 
You have to fully accept the Truth to go to Heaven, since the Catholic Church is part of this Truth, yes, you have to be Catholic to go to Heaven. No, you do not have to die Catholic to go to Heaven, you can make this acceptance after you die.
 
Bottom line - if you find yourself in heaven it will have been throught the Catholic Church - Jesus’ Church.
 
T.A.Stobie:
You have to fully accept the Truth to go to Heaven, since the Catholic Church is part of this Truth, yes, you have to be Catholic to go to Heaven. No, you do not have to die Catholic to go to Heaven, you can make this acceptance after you die.
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probably i’m missing something… but you do nothing after you die.
 
Lady Turmoil:
at which point he asked what was the point of us being together if we can’t decide even what religion to raise kids if we have them
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good question! May I ask you the same one?
 
Thanks for the advice everyone, but, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, he made his own decision and he won’t hear anything i have to say about it. So, I’m grieving over the loss of our relationship. :*(
 
Lady Turmoil:
Thanks for the advice everyone, but, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, he made his own decision and he won’t hear anything i have to say about it. So, I’m grieving over the loss of our relationship. :*(
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Do not feel sorrow. Thank God because of your Faith. Christ is protecting you, and your future children.
 
Lady Turmoil:
Thanks for the advice everyone, but, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, he made his own decision and he won’t hear anything i have to say about it. So, I’m grieving over the loss of our relationship. :*(
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Dear Lady,

I grieve with you over you lost relationship, but I have to tell you, I am glad that the hard decision will no longer have to be made. Sometimes it is hard to take the path God wishes us to when we are in love.

For you, you would have had to give up your Catholic faith. For to get married in the Catholic Church, you have to agree to raise the kids Catholic, or to get married outside the church you also have to agree to this as well as get a dispensation. If you did not, you would be unable to recieve the sacraments.

Since he was unwilling to raise the kids Catholic you could not honor this promise.

I pray God will place a Godly Catholic Christian man in your path after your heart heals.

God Bless,
Maria
 
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