Can you have a Catholic funeral for someone who doesn't want one

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My mother, a Catholic, is in her last days. She hasn’t told me herself but my brother reports that she doesn’t want a funeral. Upon hearing that I’m tempted to bring her ashes home with me and giving her a funeral there.

Is this allowed?
 
“Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, he mercy sought and mercy found.” If your mother is Catholic and has not explicitly requested a non-Catholic funeral, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and have a Catholic funeral. Otherwise, it’s just hearsay. Granted, it might cause some problems between you and your brother but ultimately, I would still do it for the graces granted to her after death.
 
At least look into having her receive the Sacrament of Anointing! It is a most amazing Sacrament. Many Catholics seem to believe that it is the kiss of death. Au contraire! I have received it too many times to count (nightmare medical resumé).
 
It might be best, instead of sending your question to lay people, to ask your parish priest; he is the one, if a funeral is said, who will do it or know why he can’t.
 
How do you propose to conduct a funeral in your own home?

Afterwards, what will you do with the ashes?

You should know that ashes must be buried. They cannot be scattered and should not be kept.

I would speak to a priest about this.

Do not act alone. Respect what you know your mother wants; speak to her. The death of your mother will be a very traumatic time and you do not want to do anything that will cause an argument in your family. So I really would encourage to take this matter to your priest.
 
I think you need to get the answer from your mom and not go by what your brother said. I have seen many family decide they will do nothing despite the wishes of their Catholic parents or spouses.
 
Please talk to your mom, and if she tells you directly she doesn’t want a funeral, ask your priest what can be done.

Services for the deceased are partly to help the living with their grieving as well. I have seen at my local parishes some memorial services for family where the deceased was obviously already dead and presumably buried or otherwise the body was not present, but the priest still conducted some sort of memorial prayer service for the family members. In one case this service was being conducted for the two deceased spouses of a newly married older couple. Presumably the spouses had died quite a long time before as when I saw this going on the older couple had already been married to each other for a few months - I know this because they were married at a daily Mass that I just happened to be at.
 
Thanks for the replies, all. A little background. Mom is Catholic. She came back home to the Church on the Ash Wednesday which also happened to be her birthday. Mother and I are the only Christians on my side of the family. That’s why these matters become so difficult. My family doesn’t do all those things we do as Catholics.

Mom did receive an anointing two days ago. I met her pastor last night. I’m sad to say that she is in her final hours. She probably won’t live through the weekend. She is off all her meds and is only on morphine for the pain. Outside a minor miracle I doubt I’ll have a chance to know her true desires. I assumed since she was active at her parish that she would want to be buried I’m the Church. Please pray for my family and I.
 
I have no advice to add that hasn’t already been given by others, but know that I’m praying for your mom, your family, and you. God bless you. 🙏
 
My thoughts are with you, tad. I’m glad your mom came back to the church and was anointed. I will say a Divine Mercy for her. Peace be with you.
 
Thank you everyone for your prayers.

My mom passed away peacefully in the wee hours of the morning last Thursday. I was so upset at the idea of not having a funeral mass that we did decide to have one for her at her parish. Mom was the only other Catholic on the my side of the family so once she passed I felt an extra bleakness thinking I wouldn’t be able to give her a proper send off. I had a hard time believing she wouldn’t want a funeral mass, and even if it were true, I knew I would have been able to talk her out of it. I know she would have done it for me.

I can come up for air now. 🙂

One final question, what’s the proper way to announce this on her obituary? Is it OK just to call it a mass, or should we call it a funeral mass or is there some other title?
 
You can call it a funeral Mass, Mass for the Dead or a Requiem Mass.

As a side note for others who may be in the same boat eventually, it isn’t necessary to have a funeral Mass, you can also have a Liturgy of the Word (without Mass). The latter is often popular when many non-Catholics will be in attendance, it eliminates all the problems with who can or cannot receive communion and the hurt feelings that can be involved in all that.

That said you have my deepest condolences, and I will say a special intention for your mother at Vespers tonight.
 
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