L
lookforgiveness
Guest
I have always tried to be a morally good person. I understand that we sin and ask for forgiveness but still I question myself and what I have done. I am Catholic, I try to study apologetics. I have been baptized and confirmed and have confessed my sins but I look at myself and feel horrible right. I have never done drugs, always done good in school, tried my best to maintain a morally good live while having fun with friends (no drinking or partying). I always try to help…I feel like I am a good person but I feel a mark of shame that no one knows about.
This is very hard for me to say and I have asked for forgiveness before but I can recall directly asking a priest on this. Anyways…I pride myself in respecting women and keeping my virginity until I am married…but I question whether I am a virgin?! When I was a kid, a little before the age of 11, I went on a camping trip in the with my family and pet dogs, I fully didn’t understand what I had done but I remember it was night in the truck and we were still driving a long way to the camping site, most everyone was asleep and I was in the back with my dog near me. I had began to touch and masturbate at the time because for some reason I couldn’t control the urge to…and in the process my dog had began to lick me…I was so confused. I had pulled away after a bit and I look back on it now with so much shame. I never did that again…and never plan on-it wasn’t even like I am mentally deranged. Was that normal?
Am I still a virgin? How would I tell anybody, including a woman that I am a virgin if I question this event in my life so long ago?! I mean…I look at it now and ever since then as a horrible act. I do not believe that it is morally right now and fully am aware of the gravity of such an act.
But have I been forgive for it? Should I just look at it as a stupid, childish act. Can I say to myself that I am a virgin and be honest? What is the definition of virginity? Please help me.
This is very hard for me to say and I have asked for forgiveness before but I can recall directly asking a priest on this. Anyways…I pride myself in respecting women and keeping my virginity until I am married…but I question whether I am a virgin?! When I was a kid, a little before the age of 11, I went on a camping trip in the with my family and pet dogs, I fully didn’t understand what I had done but I remember it was night in the truck and we were still driving a long way to the camping site, most everyone was asleep and I was in the back with my dog near me. I had began to touch and masturbate at the time because for some reason I couldn’t control the urge to…and in the process my dog had began to lick me…I was so confused. I had pulled away after a bit and I look back on it now with so much shame. I never did that again…and never plan on-it wasn’t even like I am mentally deranged. Was that normal?
Am I still a virgin? How would I tell anybody, including a woman that I am a virgin if I question this event in my life so long ago?! I mean…I look at it now and ever since then as a horrible act. I do not believe that it is morally right now and fully am aware of the gravity of such an act.
But have I been forgive for it? Should I just look at it as a stupid, childish act. Can I say to myself that I am a virgin and be honest? What is the definition of virginity? Please help me.