N
Nomanibroke
Guest
I have been married civilly to my wife for 13 years. The first 3 years of our marriage, we didn’t get the chance to live together, at least not until we immigrated to another country. We had our first child six years after living together, 9 years into our marriage. During all those times, we probably had sex no more than 3 times a month, sometimes every 2 months. Please also note that I haven’t held a job for 2 years now since falling victim to the recession, nevertheless, during this time also, I was the one taking care of our child.
Now a month ago, my wife confessed to a priest and at some point during her confession, the priest told her that having sex outside the sacrament of marriage is a sin, which now she has upheld as a reason not to have sex or any physical contact with me at all. It will be more than 3 months now that we haven’t been intimate, nor have any physical contact with each other whatsoever. I’ve been hurting for many years for her refusal to have any physical contact with me, and the only reason I have for keeping the marriage is because I love her too much, which has doubled since the birth of our child.
My question is this…Am I being too unkind to myself by enduring the pain of not having my needs satisfied by my wife throughout all these years that we’ve been married? Is our marriage still worth keeping? Should I just divorce my wife and look elsewhere for someone who would fulfill both my emotional and physical needs? I feel that my wife is holding our sex hostage because I wasn’t able to marry her in church.
Please don’t tell me to “just marry her in church” because firstly, I’m living abroad now, and I don’t have a means to get my baptismal certificate from my birth country. I don’t have any relatives left from my birth country as well. All I have are pictures of me when I was a baby being baptized by a Catholic priest. We got married civilly because we couldn’t financially afford to get married in church with the hoopla and all.
I hope that by posting here, someone would be able to enlighten me on this matter. Kind thanks.
-NB
Now a month ago, my wife confessed to a priest and at some point during her confession, the priest told her that having sex outside the sacrament of marriage is a sin, which now she has upheld as a reason not to have sex or any physical contact with me at all. It will be more than 3 months now that we haven’t been intimate, nor have any physical contact with each other whatsoever. I’ve been hurting for many years for her refusal to have any physical contact with me, and the only reason I have for keeping the marriage is because I love her too much, which has doubled since the birth of our child.
My question is this…Am I being too unkind to myself by enduring the pain of not having my needs satisfied by my wife throughout all these years that we’ve been married? Is our marriage still worth keeping? Should I just divorce my wife and look elsewhere for someone who would fulfill both my emotional and physical needs? I feel that my wife is holding our sex hostage because I wasn’t able to marry her in church.
Please don’t tell me to “just marry her in church” because firstly, I’m living abroad now, and I don’t have a means to get my baptismal certificate from my birth country. I don’t have any relatives left from my birth country as well. All I have are pictures of me when I was a baby being baptized by a Catholic priest. We got married civilly because we couldn’t financially afford to get married in church with the hoopla and all.
I hope that by posting here, someone would be able to enlighten me on this matter. Kind thanks.
-NB