Can you help this revert understand the status of her marriage?

[joyfulheart]

Hi CA -
I’m a 4-year revert in a pickle - not sure if I need an apologist or a canon lawyer, but I was referred to y’all from some good folk at Catholic Exchange.com

Sharpen your pencil.

My husband and I were baptised Catholics and communicants who fell away from the Church in our teens. We met and were married in a non-denominational Christian church 19 years ago (I am 43). 3-4 years ago I returned to the RCC! Yay! My husband remains a practicing/active Baptist. I have been going to confession and receiving communion since I returned to the Church. One day when I was reading the Catechism (what a great document! I never knew we HAD ONE!) about marriage it said something about mixed marriages need to be recognized by the Church before the Catholic party can receive communion. I brought this up to my parish deacon in charge of annulments, etc. and he advised me to abstain from communion until our marriage was recognized by the Church/Bishop. I informed my husband who became defensive saying, in essence, our marriage was sacramental and the RCC should not be making a big deal of it. He was offended and thought the RCC was pushing its weight around (like we were taught as protestants). So I decided to wait on the Lord. I’ve been abstaining from communion for 3 years. I love my Church and I want to do right by her, but I’m not getting much pastoral assistance. But Jesus is the Good Shepherd and Mary has taken me under her wing (who am I that the Mother of my Lord should come to me?) By Mary’s intercession, my husband has had a change of heart and said, listen, I don’t want to be pigheaded and get in the way of you receiving communion - if it’s just a matter of getting the marriage blessed let’s do it.
I’ve been playing phone tag with the deacon since my husband’s change of heart. I have all our paperwork ready - all our church/sacramental/marriage certificate records in case we need to send anything to the Diocesan office. Meanwhile I’ve been advised by a new priest that our marriage is sacramental and all we need to do is avoid scandal until we get the blessing. He advised me that I can take communion at another parish until then.
Can you tell me please how I should be walking this out this situation and what the real facts are?
If you need any more detail, just ask!
God bless you.
Renee

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi Renee,

The priest you mention is probably basing his statement that you are validly married on the assumption that since you were married in a non-denominational church, you formally renounced your Catholic faith and formally joined that Church. But, as I understand it, simply being married in a non-Catholic church does not automatically mean that one has formally joined that church. IF you did formally join that church and have documents to prove this, then the Catholic Church would recognize your marriage as valid. If you did not, then you need to have it “convalidated” or blessed by the Catholic Church and are not to receive Holy Communion until then because you are having relations with a person you are not validly married to.

If however, you refrain from relations until the marriage is blessed, you may go to Confession and receive Holy Communion.

If you would like to talk to me privately about this, you may contact my by : vserpa@catholic.com or by phone: 619 387 7200.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.