Can you 'take back' the Godparents?

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Sugabee43

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I was wondering - if you have a falling out with the godparents of your child, is it licit to find new ones, and inform the original ones they are no longer your child’s godparents? Anyone know of the procedures and guidelines for this, if any? This is fairly important and also urgent! Thanks!
 
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Sugabee43:
I was wondering - if you have a falling out with the godparents of your child, is it licit to find new ones, and inform the original ones they are no longer your child’s godparents? Anyone know of the procedures and guidelines for this, if any? This is fairly important and also urgent! Thanks!
No, I think the vows they took are permanent and can’t be replaced. But I think (if you don’t mind a little editorializing) that you’re letting your personal feelings get the best of you. It’s OK to be distant from your child’s godparents…but don’t let that get between your child and these people. You once thought enough of them to ask something very special of them. Don’t drive a complete wedge between yourselves now. Leave the door open to rekindling the relationship someday and let the Spirit be your guide in this matter. Remember the Great Commandment got its name because it’s the hardest thing that God ever asks of each of us.
 
Thank you! You are certainly correct re: great commandment, and i just want to add that the relationship is not completely done for at this time. It really, at this point, is up to them as to whether or not they remain in contact. So, if THEY decide to distance themselves, does that change the dynamics of the Godparent situation? If they choose to no longer have contact, does my child have the right to a new set of Godparents that will uphold the duties and obligations of the role? Does anyone else have anything to add?

BTW, my computer’s down at home, so it may take me a day or two to reply.:banghead:
 
I think ideally you want to choose godparents who are “in-fall-out-ible”😃 because you know them so well. All human relationships have their vagaries, but this is one of the relationships that is meant to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, I’ve heard of disappointing godparents who set a poor example (e.g., shacking up with a new god-girlfriend or boyfriend approximately annually, etc). I would not “replace” them officially but would catechize my child about the bad example set.
 
My brother and sister-in-law are my oldest son’s godparents. They were the closest people in the world to me at the time, so I couldn’t imagine picking anyone else. But months later my mother died and the family fell apart…literally. In recent years, both of them have developed a profound fondness for vodka and there’s no relationship between the adults at all.

When it comes to my son, though, they do at least make an effort. There are cards for Easter, birthday and Christmas and every once in a while they’ll call him out of the blue (moments of sobriety???..maybe…but I think they’re the moments that they regret never having their own kids).

What you can do for your son is pick someone special to be his Surrogate Godparents. Usually the surrogates stand in when the actual godparents can’t be physically present at the baptism. They’re not the official godparents, but they do make the vows with the parents and there’s a nice little special relationship that can develop. In your case, you could take the concept and do something a little special, allowing your own surrogates to stand at the altar with your son after mass one Sunday and recite the baptismal vows with him and have them bless him with a little holy water. It’s not a real baptism, but it’s a little symbolism that could go a very long way. Afterall, in this day and age too few people take any vows seriously and they seem to lose their solemnity. If you make the extra effort to make the baptismal vows special, then your son may have a better understanding of what they are and why they’re so important.
 
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