Cannot always empathize with others

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I do not understand why people struggle with sexual sin. It involves two people. It sounds simple - do not have sex. It is difficult for me to understand or relate as a woman. I watched porn many times, I never fell into addiction. The few times I have entered into the hook up culture I always end up getting screwed over - I figured it was not for me. I cannot handle the blows.
The only thing I have difficulty doing is being completely honest, not taking everything so personally, and gossiping. I wish it were easier for me to take criticism. I wish I was not so naive or idealistic. What do I know about life? I am in 20s, I still feel like a child. I swear I am addicted to my phone and internet. I wish I could just grow up and accept life for the way it is. I am lazy like no one’s business.
I wish I could be more responsible. At times I wish I could be perfect in every area but struggle with sexual sins. At least there is pleasure. I wish I were a man where I could have sex with no strings attached.
I guess it is the same way people cannot understand why I am so sensitive. I cannot just shrug off a negative opinion or bad comment. It sits with me for days, weeks, months, years. I feel like how on Earth can I handle the blows of the real world if I can hardly take simple critiques. I have cried when someone was brutally honest with me. Only my best friend is honest with me in the gentlest way - where I can take it without shutting down.
 
Verbal abuse is really rampant these days. People like to be “brutally honest”, but I find it counterproductive. I think it’s preferable to be honest, gently, without all the brutality.

special-dictionary.com/quotes/authors/r/rose_n._franzblau/honesty_without_compassion_and_understanding_is_not_honesty,_but_subtle_hostilit.htm

I learned in social work that confrontation should NEVER be used harshly, only gently.

That being said, we don’t live in an ideal culture. My mother always told me to get a “thick skin”. Don’t know if that helps any.

I think we can also be sensitive especially when people are crossing our boundaries in some way or if we have had a past history where we were criticized a lot. When we are criticized, we can remember all that and react stronger than we might otherwise.
 
ClearWater said:
Verbal abuse is really rampant these days. People like to be “brutally honest”, but I find it counterproductive. I think it’s preferable to be honest, gently, without all the brutality.

special-dictionary.com/quotes/authors/r/rose_n._franzblau/honesty_without_compassion_and_understanding_is_not_honesty,_but_subtle_hostilit.htm

I learned in social work that confrontation should NEVER be used harshly, only gently.

That being said, we don’t live in an ideal culture. My mother always told me to get a “thick skin”. Don’t know if that helps any.

I think we can also be sensitive especially when people are crossing our boundaries in some way or if we have had a past history where we were criticized a lot. When we are criticized, we can remember all that and react stronger than we might otherwise.
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I wish I had thicker skin. I recently cried today because of the way someone treated me. I felt a little like a baby afterwards. Oh well. That is me.
 
CRATUS said:
Good question. I think I use posts like a personal diary entry. I should stop. I will one day.
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Do you have a diary made of paper, like a notebook or …a diary? This way you won’t have to stop.
 
CRATUS said:
I do not understand why people struggle with sexual sin. It involves two people. It sounds simple - do not have sex. It is difficult for me to understand or relate as a woman. I watched porn many times, I never fell into addiction. The few times I have entered into the hook up culture I always end up getting screwed over - I figured it was not for me. I cannot handle the blows.
The only thing I have difficulty doing is being completely honest, not taking everything so personally, and gossiping. I wish it were easier for me to take criticism. I wish I was not so naive or idealistic. What do I know about life? I am in 20s, I still feel like a child. I swear I am addicted to my phone and internet. I wish I could just grow up and accept life for the way it is. I am lazy like no one’s business.
I wish I could be more responsible. At times I wish I could be perfect in every area but struggle with sexual sins. At least there is pleasure. I wish I were a man where I could have sex with no strings attached.
I guess it is the same way people cannot understand why I am so sensitive. I cannot just shrug off a negative opinion or bad comment. It sits with me for days, weeks, months, years. I feel like how on Earth can I handle the blows of the real world if I can hardly take simple critiques. I have cried when someone was brutally honest with me. Only my best friend is honest with me in the gentlest way - where I can take it without shutting down.
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The ability to feel empathy should be encouraged.
We never know what we will face down the road.
it’s always best to have been kind to others, if there comes a time when we need extreme kindness.
And even if not so…it’s just better to be kind.
You’re not sensitive. You tend to compare everyone to yourself.
You are you, and others have their own issues. Nothing is cut and dry in this world.
You can’t pigeon hole people, and I strongly suspect that you wouldn’t want people to do that to you.
 
pianistclare said:
The ability to feel empathy should be encouraged.
We never know what we will face down the road.
it’s always best to have been kind to others, if there comes a time when we need extreme kindness.
And even if not so…it’s just better to be kind.
You’re not sensitive. You tend to compare everyone to yourself.
You are you, and others have their own issues. Nothing is cut and dry in this world.
You can’t pigeon hole people, and I strongly suspect that you wouldn’t want people to do that to you.
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ok, you are right. I do compare myself to others. Everyone is uniquely different and it can be very difficult to understand
 
CRATUS said:
ok, you are right. I do compare myself to others. Everyone is uniquely different and it can be very difficult to understand
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you don’t have to understand it all. You are a deep thinker. Over thinker.
Maybe get out and just enjoy the Lord’s creation! You are young! There are plenty of times in your life when you will question each little thing. Be the hands and feet of Christ to someone in need, and experience true joy, from working with someone VERY different from you, but like you, the same child of God.
What kind of volunteer work do you do? I’ve only been asking you for months, LOL 😃
 
CRATUS said:
I wish I had thicker skin. I recently cried today because of the way someone treated me. I felt a little like a baby afterwards. Oh well. That is me.
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Back in my younger days (16-24 yrs old), I was part of the hook up crowd, we partied alot, slept around frequently, it was fun back then, but now that Im older, I realize it was not the right way to live and I do feel sorry for some of the one timers I was involved in.

However, our group back then was large, always alot of people around, and there were certain girls that were known for sleeping around ALOT, and they seemed to be quite proud of this too, just like a man, I think over time, they just lost their female sensitivity when it came to sex and they were just enjoying the physical aspect of it, nothing more.

One of these girls, I was very good friends with, and she truly saw nothing wrong with what she was doing, she could move from guy to guy within hours and it didnt bother her in the least.

For most of us, we started this behavior around 15-16, but some started earlier, this gal in particular had been with 50+ guys by the time she was 17. Heck one of my exGFs back then, I was 17, she was 15 when we were dating, I learned she had been with 9 guys already, this didnt really shock me, but that she started around 12-13 did surprise me, and the fact it didnt bother her like it should.

I still talk to her to this day, of course she is not like that now, she is married and has 4 kids, they are very happy, but overall, her past wild life never caused her any grief…I guess some people can live like this?
 
CRATUS said:
I wish I had thicker skin. I recently cried today because of the way someone treated me. I felt a little like a baby afterwards. Oh well. That is me.
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I suggest a prayer regimen that uses the Rosary and meditating on the mysteries. Every day.

God can change us, but we have to cooperate. God wants to change us and have us grow closer to Him and become strong spiritually.

Read good spiritual books that inspire you…that has always helped me, along with prayer.
 
pianistclare said:
you don’t have to understand it all. You are a deep thinker. Over thinker.
Maybe get out and just enjoy the Lord’s creation! You are young! There are plenty of times in your life when you will question each little thing. Be the hands and feet of Christ to someone in need, and experience true joy, from working with someone VERY different from you, but like you, the same child of God.
What kind of volunteer work do you do? I’ve only been asking you for months, LOL 😃
Click to expand...
do not worry I started volunteering. There is so much in life to smile about.
 
CRATUS said:
I do not understand why people struggle with sexual sin. It involves two people. It sounds simple - do not have sex. It is difficult for me to understand or relate as a woman. I watched porn many times, I never fell into addiction. The few times I have entered into the hook up culture I always end up getting screwed over - I figured it was not for me. I cannot handle the blows.
The only thing I have difficulty doing is being completely honest, not taking everything so personally, and gossiping. I wish it were easier for me to take criticism. I wish I was not so naive or idealistic. What do I know about life? I am in 20s, I still feel like a child. I swear I am addicted to my phone and internet. I wish I could just grow up and accept life for the way it is. I am lazy like no one’s business.
I wish I could be more responsible. At times I wish I could be perfect in every area but struggle with sexual sins. At least there is pleasure. I wish I were a man where I could have sex with no strings attached.
I guess it is the same way people cannot understand why I am so sensitive. I cannot just shrug off a negative opinion or bad comment. It sits with me for days, weeks, months, years. I feel like how on Earth can I handle the blows of the real world if I can hardly take simple critiques. I have cried when someone was brutally honest with me. Only my best friend is honest with me in the gentlest way - where I can take it without shutting down.
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I feel like this sometimes
It’s the sin taking a toll on your body and soul
The devil is convincing you life is boring/over/useless
I sometimes feel hopeless two
Go to confession
Don’t give up keep fighting
And if you still feel sad while free from sin
Offer it up to God and tell him to use it for reparation of your wrongs
Then your suffering will feel put to better use
Praying for you bud
Don’t let the world get you down
Nothing on earth is so bad that heaven can’t fix it
 
CRATUS said:
I do not understand why people struggle with sexual sin. It involves two people. It sounds simple - do not have sex. It is difficult for me to understand or relate as a woman.
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Hello Cratus

It’s often said that sympathy is imagining how something would be for us, and that empathy is learning how something is for others. Perhaps the best way to empathy is simply listening and hearing, gently recognising and ignoring thoughts that run along the line of “well, it’s not like that for me”.

God bless+

Michael
 
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