Cannot find one

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sorrowful1 said:
Isn’t Saint Anne the patron of marriage? Have you prayed to her (or a novena perhaps)?
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Thank you for the wish. I did pray St Anne’s novena, and also other novena… a few years ago, still in vain
 
I will pray for you. But sometimes, God answers in His time and not ours (of course, you know that. But it’s just a reminder !!) My wish to get a job that I particularly wanted wasn’t answered sooner than I’d have wished it to be, but much later I got it. When I got it, I realized why He was “hesitant”. I think God knows when and how to have our things done - be it a marriage or a job/career or anything. I know a lot of people who found their soul mates late in their lives and then, got married ; yet they’re the happiest!!
 
My children were nearly grown when I married my second husband. Since he was disabled and could not have children, we adopted two more and they are grown now.
but what I learned during the 17 years alone was that I didn’t need a husband to experience the joys and pleasures of life. Cherry blossoms smell as sweet, music sounds as enjoyable, when you are single as when you are married. And marriage is no bed of roses – no man is perfect and you need to learn how to get along with each other in any marriage.
 
Then make the effort to engage others, show interest in them and express your own interests and opinions 🙂
 
I am going to suggest using a Catholic dating site, and also being open to the possibility that you may find someone out of your geological area.
 
Please do not let your adventure in life be dampened by the opinions of others.
Their passage was theirs.
Be your own person!
 
All I’m saying is live day by day and don’t worry about finding or not someone else. It will just hurt you and won’t help. If there is someone for you, you will meet that person eventually and you can’t help that.
 
MasterMacLeod82 said:
All I’m saying is live day by day and don’t worry about finding or not someone else. It will just hurt you and won’t help. If there is someone for you, you will meet that person eventually and you can’t help that
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thanks I hope so.
 
St Raphael is the patron of love, marriage, happy meetings, and matchmakers.

A novena to him would be appropriate.

Also Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin
 
Raxus said:
I met someone here and dated them a while too, though it didn’t work out.
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Sorry to hear that. There are a few couples who have met on these forums over the years. Some are still posting from time to time. I always think it’s funny that I met my wife here because posting on forums like these is actually not my wife’s thing at all and the only topic she’s ever started is the one that I responded to that started our relationship.
 
AdamP88 said:
Sorry to hear that. There are a few couples who have met on these forums over the years. Some are still posting from time to time. I always think it’s funny that I met my wife here because posting on forums like these is actually not my wife’s thing at all and the only topic she’s ever started is the one that I responded to that started our relationship.
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Nah, it all worked out. I learned a lot about being ok with exactly who and what I am from that failed relationship, and now I’m in a different one (of two years) that is absolutely wonderful.

I’m glad it worked out so well for you, though. 🙂
 
I really thought that perhaps I was meant to be single my entire life because I always had a hard time with dating and relationships. I would have definitely said that maybe God did not want me to get married. I went on one date when I was 18 and did not go on another until I was like 27 or 28 and did not get my first girlfriend until I was 29. And I am not socially awkward, I am not weird or anything either. Decent looks too. I just am very introverted so I do not normally go out of my way to interact with people. I realize now how much that really worked against me.

Anyways, I joined a dating site and after about 3 1/2 active years, met about 9 or so women, went on a whole lot of first dates that went nowhere. Talked to a lot of women where it never even got to a first date. Sometimes I lost interest, a lot more often they lost interest lol. I even started talking to a woman that I met through Catholic answers. We talked for a month or two, skyped but she lost interest. We are still FB friends though. The point being, It took some time and a lot of wrong women to get to my right woman. I finally met my wife when I was, I think 33 and we married almost 2 years ago.

I never liked the strategy of “stop looking and it will happen” in dating. I know of too many practicing Catholics in their late 50s and 60s who never married and are still looking. So, my philosophy is that if you want to get married and you are not model good looking (most of us are not) you had better take some action to accomplish your goal. Women do not need to actively ask men out, but there is nothing wrong with joining a dating site and putting yourself in situations where you have to chance to be asked out by men. I know its harder in these covid times but it wont last forever.

Most importantly, the single most important thing is to not give up. Cant stress that enough. And never stop praying.
 
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LaughingBoy1503 said:
I never liked the strategy of “stop looking and it will happen” in dating. I know of too many practicing Catholics in their late 50s and 60s who never married and are still looking.
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Agree with you 100%. I mean nobody gives this advice about buying a car, or getting a job. You have to be prepared to take action to make this happen.
 
In love, as in life, balance is key.
Make efforts to be open, engaging and available but don’t center your entire being on it.
Often when we wish for others’ well being, we are rewarded with our own 🙂
Let us know how it’s going and what other fun things are going on in your life.
And as said before, keep looking and praying!
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
I never liked the strategy of “stop looking and it will happen” in dating.
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I generally think of this as advice given to people whose sole focus in life is to “find someone,” so they end up giving the impression of neediness and stinginess, if you see what I mean.

I think it is important to develop oneself as a person, and as a person who would make a good spouse. As an example, instead of spending 20 or 30 hours on dating sites or speed dating, etc., spend some of that time volunteering to work with children so as to develop parenting skills, dealing with any psychological issues, and/or growing in virtue.
 
Annie said:
I generally think of this as advice given to people whose sole focus in life is to “find someone,” so they end up giving the impression of neediness and stinginess, if you see what I mean.

I think it is important to develop oneself as a person, and as a person who would make a good spouse. As an example, instead of spending 20 or 30 hours on dating sites or speed dating, etc., spend some of that time volunteering to work with children so as to develop parenting skills, dealing with any psychological issues, and/or growing in virtue.
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Bettering ourselves should always be part of searching for the right one. In all aspects of life, for that matter, IMHO
 
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