Can't be the godmother?

[agw123]

I live in NYC. I have attended mass at St. Patricks for over three years now. I am very low income and donate what I can but it is always only in cash. Recently my brother contacted me and asked me to be the godmother to his soon to be born daughter. He said that his church in ATL requires an eligibility certificate to ensure that I am a practicing catholic. Though I am, because I do not use the envelopes and only donate to the church in cash, the church has said that they cannot give me the cert. I am shocked. I’ve never needed to be verified as a member of the church and am afraid that after I’ve been a good catholic, the church is just going to shut me out and not allow me to be the godmother. I feel very betrayed and saddened by this development. Does anyone know of any other options?

Is this a requirement of the particular diocese? I’ve never seen this done before anywhere in the NY Metro area (asking for paperwork proving your eligibility). All I’ve see is ask for baptismal certs from at least 1 Godparent

 

[Cathryn]

Canon law 874 gives the requirements to be a godparent. My parish requires a letter such as this.

 

[Cathryn]

Canon law 874 gives the requirements to be a godparent. My parish requires a letter such as this.

 

[maryjk]

I have had 6 children baptised, the last two children just in the last 2 years. I have never been asked to provide documentation of church attendance for the Godparents, just documentation that at least 1 was a confirmed Catholic. My last child was baptised shortly after his birth at the hospital, and the Godparent issues wasn’t even asked about or on anyone’s mind until some time later.

If your child is being Baptized in the hospital, it was most likely due to an emergency. I am sure they were more worried about having the child Baptized than anything else. For your other children, if the Godparents are known to the priest there would be no reason for documentation. I know our local parish asks for a letter if the Godparents are from out of town. When I was asked recently to be a Godmother, the priest said that he didn’t need to write a letter to himself.

It could also be that your parish doesn’t require a letter. All of the parishes I have been a member of, have required it. But that doesn’t mean that all parishes do.

The Church trusts me to form my child fully in the faith, but not to chose Godparents, carefully following the guidelines/rules that they give me? If I’m going to willingly violate the rules of choosing Godparents, seems highly likely I would also fall short on other aspects of raising them properly in the faith, such as mass attendance.

But if the Godparents had to provide proof of Mass attendance, they would be helping you raise that child in the faith. The letter stops you from breaking the rules.

Two of my older children are Godparents for one of my younger children. They certainly weren’t independently registered at our parish, nor did they make financial contributions on their own, as members of our household.

As the parents of the older children, YOUR attendance would have enough.

The letter has nothing to do with financial contributions. There isn’t anything saying that you have to give so much to the Church to be a Godparent.

The Church is simply doing its due diligence to ensure that the named Godparents are actually practicing Catholics.

 

[Phemie]

The Church is simply doing its due diligence to ensure that the named Godparents are actually practicing Catholics.

Would that more parishes/pastors took that requirement seriously.

I recently prepared a couple for the baptism of their baby and was surprised to see she had picked as godparents her sister and her ex-husband. On the day of the baptism, the godmother was accompanied by the lover for whom she had left her husband and daughter after 11 months of marriage. The animosity between the godparents was palpable as they made the visible effort to maintain as much physical distance between each other as was possible without sitting on opposite sides of the church.

As far as the pastor was concerned, as long as one of them had received all three sacraments of initiation everything was hunky dory.

 

[Leon_Bloy]

I’m really sorry this has happened to you! This is not at all something the Lord would be pleased by, so please don’t take offense! I am sure it is a misunderstanding on the part of the office you talked to. Please try to talk to a priest and ask how this can be corrected. There is no obligation to give money to have this cleared up.

I have been to St. Patrick’s many times, and I always get the feeling that people are nervous at these kinds of offices when asked questions by strangers, because of (obviously) how huge the city is and how many odd people tend to gravitate toward big public places like St. Patrick’s. I used to have to wave off the security guards when I crossed past the cord, saying “I’m here for mass!” So please keep persisting - I will say a prayer for you! Please don’t let this get to you too much!

 

[etmom]

of my 6 children, we’ve been in 4 different parishes. One one occasion, we used our older children, another set of Godparents were regular parishioners. The other ones were out of town friends/relatives unknown to the parish/priests. None of the parishes required this information.

And yes, it was an emergency baptism at the hospital for our son last summer, but I don’t think they asked at all about Godparents. So now I’m thinking Godparents must not be absolutely required for the sacrament at all, my son’s baptism was still perfectly valid. I received a baptismal certificate after our son’s death from our Church, and our preference of Godparents WAS listed, but they were obviously not going to see that he was raised in the faith, nor were they present at the baptism or had ever had the opportunity to meet our son during his 16 days that he lived. He was also confirmed about a week after his baptism, no sponsors or witnesses other than myself was present.

Again, if the church doesn’t trust parents to follow the rules that they have set, how on earth are they going to trust them as the primary faith educator of their children?

 

[edward_george]

of my 6 children, we’ve been in 4 different parishes. One one occasion, we used our older children, another set of Godparents were regular parishioners. The other ones were out of town friends/relatives unknown to the parish/priests. None of the parishes required this information.

And yes, it was an emergency baptism at the hospital for our son last summer, but I don’t think they asked at all about Godparents. So now I’m thinking Godparents must not be absolutely required for the sacrament at all, my son’s baptism was still perfectly valid. I received a baptismal certificate after our son’s death from our Church, and our preference of Godparents WAS listed, but they were obviously not going to see that he was raised in the faith, nor were they present at the baptism or had ever had the opportunity to meet our son during his 16 days that he lived. He was also confirmed about a week after his baptism, no sponsors or witnesses other than myself was present.

Again, if the church doesn’t trust parents to follow the rules that they have set, how on earth are they going to trust them as the primary faith educator of their children?

First, I am sorry for your loss, and know that I am praying for you and your family.

Second, I don’t think this is about the Church not trusting people to follow the rules. Godparents are not required for sacramental validity at all. Validity hinges on matter (water), form (I baptize you…), and intent (intent to do what the Church does in baptism). I think this is less about the Church not trusting people and more about the Church (or perhaps in this case just one particular parish, not the whole Church necessarily) trying to ensure that the sacraments are carried out with care and are properly (and canonically) attested to. So it’s an extra little step to the process, but it doesn’t necessarily show a lack of trust. Just a little extra thing to make sure that people receive the sacraments and that proper witnesses are present.

-ACEGC

 

[NiceMimi]

Jessica, did you ever follow up with the church? Please let us know what happened. Thanks, and God bless!