Can't get baptismal certificate - can we get married?

[stina2bina]

I’m supposed to be getting married in 3 months and am getting increasingly worried, because we are having a lot of trouble getting my fiancee’s original baptismal certificate.

He is originally from India and was baptized there. Since we got engaged 5 months ago, we have tried emailing and calling the parish (no response) and eventually had a family member travel 2 hours to the parish to pick it up and then send us an electronic copy. But our church is now insisting on the original. The relative claims he mailed it (took a photo of the addressed envelope), but it should have arrived by now and hasn’t. It’s not like we can fly down to India to pick it up.

We are going to try calling the parish again and maybe have the family member mail it out again, but I’m starting to think there’s a real possibility we may not get it in time. I have 100 family members flying in from various parts of the world for this wedding and need it to happen!

What are my options? Will the priest make an exception and just accept an electronic copy? I would think if non-Catholics can get married without one, he could too (with Bishop permission), right?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

 

[stina2bina]

Sorry - also, at what point should I tell the priest we are having trouble? We are hoping to have something else in the mail this week, to hopefully be received 2 months prior to our wedding…I’m reading online about “conditional baptisms”…any idea how much notice is required for that?

I’m also reading about providing witness testimony/photos etc as proof, but again, how long does that process take?

 

[KCT]

Sorry - also, at what point should I tell the priest we are having trouble? We are hoping to have something else in the mail this week, to hopefully be received 2 months prior to our wedding…I’m reading online about “conditional baptisms”…any idea how much notice is required for that?

I’m also reading about providing witness testimony/photos etc as proof, but again, how long does that process take?

Tell the priest now. He can help get the answers you need.

 

[1ke]

Sorry - also, at what point should I tell the priest we are having trouble?

Yesterday.

Go talk to your pastor ASAP.

 

[Usige]

The reason they need the original copy of the birth certificate really doesn’t have to do with his baptism, but more to do with notations. In particular any notations of previous marriages, religious vows or reception of Holy Orders. The first cannot be dispensed and the second 2 require special dispensations. The electronic copy cannot be used since the pastor of the baptismal parish has to certify their records and afix the parish seal. Without the seal there is no way to know with certainty that someone didn’t just print a certificate and not include a previous marriage and then take picture. Not saying that is the case, but explaining why they won’t take a picture.

Talk to the priest here ASAP. He may be able to talk with the priest at the baptismal parish and have them sent via an international carrier that offers some type of tracking so you know where the document is. Perhaps ask if you need to wire money to the parish to cover the cost of expedited shipping.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

The reason they need the original copy of the birth certificate really doesn’t have to do with his baptism, but more to do with notations. In particular any notations of previous marriages, religious vows or reception of Holy Orders. The first cannot be dispensed and the second 2 require special dispensations. The electronic copy cannot be used since the pastor of the baptismal parish has to certify their records and afix the parish seal. Without the seal there is no way to know with certainty that someone didn’t just print a certificate and not include a previous marriage and then take picture. Not saying that is the case, but explaining why they won’t take a picture.

Talk to the priest here ASAP. He may be able to talk with the priest at the baptismal parish and have them sent via an international carrier that offers some type of tracking so you know where the document is. Perhaps ask if you need to wire money to the parish to cover the cost of expedited shipping.

This, in essence, states the real problem. Beyond the issue of your fiance’s Baptism – and Confirmation, which also would be notated and normally needs to have been conferred before marriage – there is the need to be certain that there is in fact no previous marriage, religious profession and/or reception of holy orders.

You should not be thinking about or researching conditional baptism.

However, the priest there, as custodian of the baptismal register, can provide verification directly to the priest where the marriage is to take place; we do make provision for that and I have had to do that myself. Please contact your priest where the marriage will take place AT ONCE so he can begin this process.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

What others have said—tell the priest now. I’ve been amazed at what parish staff can do that I can’t, even as it pertains to my own sacramental record.

I ran into the same problem when I got married—I wasn’t able to get hold of a copy of my own baptismal certificate. I was born and baptized in Country A, the sacramental record is in the custody of the military ordinariate of Country B and I got married in Country C. All countries are on different continents and the language of conducting this sort of business is different in each. The language of Country B is my native tongue while that of Country C is not, so I thought I’d be helping by going after the certificate myself. After weeks of trying to obtain a copy, I told my pastor of my difficulties and he said the parish would handle it. Ten days later they had the required documentation in hand.

I don’t remember how long I persisted in going about this myself, but I know it wasn’t as long as two months. The sooner you inform your pastor, the sooner this issue can be put behind you. I’m sure you have plenty of other things to take care of!

God bless

 

[FrDavid96]

Sorry - also, at what point should I tell the priest we are having trouble? We are hoping to have something else in the mail this week, to hopefully be received 2 months prior to our wedding…I’m reading online about “conditional baptisms”…any idea how much notice is required for that?

I’m also reading about providing witness testimony/photos etc as proof, but again, how long does that process take?

Talk to the priest where the wedding is scheduled to take place. Right away.

The one suggestion I’ll offer is NOT to use the regular government mail system to get the certificate from India. Instead, use a commercial carrier like UPS, FedEx, DHL, etc. I regularly receive packages from India by FedEx and have never had any problems (maybe a 1 day delay because of weather). Sending it through the mail is simply not reliable. A commercial carrier will use a tracking number (yes, you can use a tracking number from the post office, but the final answer will be “it got lost, these things happen.”)

 

[Mintaka]

If worst comes to worst, signed depositions from family or friends who were at the Baptism totally count.

However, obviously it’s better to have a copy of the baptismal certificate. Especially if mail is going to be involved!

I second the idea that DHL and other UPS-type companies are more reliable than mail, depending on the foreign country, and usually faster.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

If worst comes to worst, signed depositions from family or friends who were at the Baptism totally count.

They count for attesting to the baptism, but as Usige said above the notations on the baptismal certificate are important for those intending to marry. Those notations can indicate impediment to the marriage, and signed depositions from those present at the baptism can’t replace them.

 

[AnchoredInHope]

Talk to the priest where the wedding is scheduled to take place. Right away.

The one suggestion I’ll offer is NOT to use the regular government mail system to get the certificate from India. Instead, use a commercial carrier like UPS, FedEx, DHL, etc. I regularly receive packages from India by FedEx and have never had any problems (maybe a 1 day delay because of weather). Sending it through the mail is simply not reliable. A commercial carrier will use a tracking number (yes, you can use a tracking number from the post office, but the final answer will be “it got lost, these things happen.”)

This. My father converted to Catholicism while living in India and was also baptized there. It was challenging for him to get his certificate sent here and there was much back and forth. I think it was after he spoke to someone about being willing to wire down the money (along with a little “extra” for that person to use however they wanted with the leftover) to have the certificate mailed via FedEx. I gather it’s just how things are…

 

[Reuben_J]

I’m supposed to be getting married in 3 months and am getting increasingly worried, because we are having a lot of trouble getting my fiancee’s original baptismal certificate.

He is originally from India and was baptized there. Since we got engaged 5 months ago, we have tried emailing and calling the parish (no response) and eventually had a family member travel 2 hours to the parish to pick it up and then send us an electronic copy. But our church is now insisting on the original. The relative claims he mailed it (took a photo of the addressed envelope), but it should have arrived by now and hasn’t. It’s not like we can fly down to India to pick it up.

We are going to try calling the parish again and maybe have the family member mail it out again, but I’m starting to think there’s a real possibility we may not get it in time. I have 100 family members flying in from various parts of the world for this wedding and need it to happen!

What are my options? Will the priest make an exception and just accept an electronic copy? I would think if non-Catholics can get married without one, he could too (with Bishop permission), right?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

You are already given good advice here and I generally agree with them.

The Baptism certificate would be the least of your worry. We are One Holy Apostolic Catholic Church, huh, just want to rib you. Your priest can verify with your fiancee’s priest in India. We have email and internet today, I do not see any problem.

But the marital status of both of you, yes, which you have to follow the Church’s guideline to ensure that there is no impediment to your marriage.

So get to your priest now and find out what he needs for the marriage to take place.

And oh, both of you may need to attend pre-nuptial seminar. Inquire from the priest whether this is a prerequisite in the parish.