Can't go on like this

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scrupulousrvrt

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Bear with me as I am suffering from Luke-warmness and Sloth and I hate it and everything irritates me and I’m close to giving up.

As I’ve said before in another post, St Leonard of Port Maurice says there are “A number of sins beyond which God forgives no more”. This left me to ponder if I had gone beyond that threshold and am now starting the path to holiness in vain. What point is there if you’re trying to be holy and you die only to discover your sins weren’t forgiven because you were cold, lukewarm, committed too many sins or X, Y, Z and a trapdoor opens under you, sending you to the Firey Pits of Hell. If there are a number of sins beyond which God will not forgive, then I’m justified in my scrupulosity, since God keeps track of everything.
I can hardly live a faith that makes me either give-up in frustration or makes my OCD even worse. It seems like my Cross is covered in barbed wire, slicked in pitch and set ablaze and I’m forced to carry it until it crushes me under it’s weight. I’m desperate for spiritual renewal and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon. 😦
 
I don’t know who this saint is that you are quoting, but there has to be more to the quote. There is no limit to God’s mercy. Please talk to priest about your concerns, God desires joy for us, not misery.
I will pray for you.
 
I have no idea of that Saint or that quote, I don’t know the origin but perhaps it’s been twisted because that is absolutely not true.

A better Saint for you is Saint Faustina and her message from Jesus about the Divine Mercy. No sin is beyond God’s mercy if we truly repent.

I’ll add that, saints are not God. Just because a saint said something does not make it true. There are plenty of saints that have been wrong about things. They are not perfectly holy all of the time, they make mistakes just like us! And we can become saints too… so look at it that way. Humans make mistakes.

Padre Pio refused to give confession to women who wore pants. So in Padre’s eyes I’m not forgiven for anything I’ve ever confessed because I always wear jeans to confession. See that’s ridiculous isn’t it? That was just his personal opinion of the time. That was his mistake.

Please don’t take the words of saints as infallible and know that God forgives all when we have a true contrite heart! Be at peace.
 
I have never heard such a statement about God’s forgiveness being limited like that. Even if a Saint said it, and as the other poster points out, maybe there’s a context that would clarify - even Saints aren’t infallible in everything they say or write. Do you have a confessor who knows about your scruples? If not, try to find one. If yes, consult him about recommended spiritual reading and for awhile don’t read other writings because your mind is in a fragile state and your free floating anxiety is just looking for something to latch onto and torment you with. Trust me, I know, I’ve fought the scrupulosity battle myself. I’ll pray for you.
 
Actually it was st Alphonsus liguori who said that specific sermon…but that’s not the point

The point of the sermon is to preach against presumption, like trusting too much in Gods mercy. If we reach that number of sins, then we won’t be forgiven, BUT St John Vianney said, if we commit enough sins to lose a whole parish, and we are still living, and we confess with contrition and amendment–we are forgiven

You need to absolutely forget that sermon for now, and focus more on God’s mercy than his justice. It’s still possible to be forgiven–go to your spiritual director and present your situation

See this

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1018544

I also recommend searching catechism of St. John Vianney on ewtn and read his section on the virtue of hope.
 
PraiseChrist said:
You need to absolutely forget that sermon for now,QUOTE]
I sometimes wish I could. Sometimes I regret researching information of the Saints even though they’re edifying. I sometimes also regret studying some parts of the Catholic Faith; I won’t go into detail but, just the fact that Indifference and Classical Liberalism is so prevalent in the Western world, I find it hard NOT to be discouraged. People live like everything’s dandy sunshine, pancakes and rainbows. Most Catholic I know don’t have my concerns, but then again, they could also be lukewarm/indifferent. I can’t use them as an example because as my Parish Priest once said, “Don’t look at them as an example, you don’t know what they could be going through!”.

Sometimes I just feel isolated.
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A person suffering with scruples should find a holy priest who can be his spiritual director and obey him. This is because the person with scruples is too hard on himself and his judgment is not good because of it. Also, a psychiatrist can help with medications because this is also a biological disease in which many undesirable thoughts are fired by the circuits in the brain. Medication can ease the symptoms.

Do not despair. The devil tempts us to give up when we are weary.

Jesus tells us in the bible to forgive our brother 7 times 70 times which actually represents infinity. Forgiveness without end. The idea is not to be presumptuous. Do not tell yourself, I can sin all I want, because of God’s endless mercy. (This is not what you are doing, scrupulous people tend to want to be very holy). The idea is to believe with confidence that if you do happen to sin, as long as you are sorry and resolve to never do that sin again, you will be forgiven. There are no limits to God’s mercy. Just do not be presumptuous.

The only unforgivable sin is to totally give up and decide that God will no longer forgive you.

In any case, please speak to a priest immediately. God does not want you to suffer like this. I know, I have been through it too.

God bless you. Ask the Blessed Mother for help. Don’t let Satan tempt you to despair.
 
Maybe reading more about the supernatural virtue of hope will encourage you. Keep in mind that God is in control, and is allowing any problem for a greater good. There were great saints in modern times: Mother Angelica, St John Paul II, Carlos Acutis, St Teresa of Calcutta, and more.

You should follow what you spiritual director tells you, and trust that God will provide, and he will! All the best:o
 
jaimeleglise said:
(This is not what you are doing, scrupulous people tend to want to be very holy). Just do not be presumptuous. Don’t let Satan tempt you to despair.
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Therein lies a problem. It seems like no matter what I do, I’m either presuming upon mercy and works, or I’m despairing due to the difficulties/dispositions I have. I know I shouldn’t think negatively and hope for the best, but sometimes hoping for the best seems like wishful thinking when confronted with cold, hard reality. Jesus would I be cold or hot, but since I think I am lukewarm, I shall be spat out.
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Therein lies a problem. It seems like no matter what I do, I’m either presuming upon mercy and works, or I’m despairing due to the difficulties/dispositions I have. I know I shouldn’t think negatively and hope for the best, but sometimes hoping for the best seems like wishful thinking when confronted with cold, hard reality. Jesus would I be cold or hot, but since I think I am lukewarm, I shall be spat out.
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Please, stop trying. Stop afflicting yourself and rest.Stop reading. Get on with simple life. Leave God room. All is I I I in your posts,
 
I know how you feel ,
Well Guess what ,
Your not alone ,
Pray a little , Read the Bible a little , learn to occupy your time a little better ,
Involve yourself more in your church community,and it should sort itself out ,
While you have strength to Draw Breath, it’s never to late ,
 
Rosebud77 said:
Please, stop trying. Stop afflicting yourself and rest.Stop reading. Get on with simple life. Leave God room. All is I I I in your posts,
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I understand somewhat what you’re trying to say, but I have a qualm. To me, at the very least, it sounds like I should grow cold so as to acknowledge the gravity of my situation. The thing is I don’t want to be cold, or worse I don’t want to admit it. I know I should “rest” but I spend most of my days sitting at a desk on a computer, with poor job prospects, aging parents and an autistic younger brother who is (at least I think) incapable of being religious. Couple that with excessive introspection and taking extreme sides and I really don’t know HOW to rest. Sure there’s the Sacrifice of the Lamb, I want to go, but as soon as I get there no longer than 10 minutes and I get antsy to leave.
There’s a fine line between rest and laziness, and I’ve been accused of the latter much more than the former. 🤷
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Bear with me as I am suffering from Luke-warmness and Sloth and I hate it and everything irritates me and I’m close to giving up.

As I’ve said before in another post, St Leonard of Port Maurice says there are “A number of sins beyond which God forgives no more”. This left me to ponder if I had gone beyond that threshold and am now starting the path to holiness in vain. What point is there if you’re trying to be holy and you die only to discover your sins weren’t forgiven because you were cold, lukewarm, committed too many sins or X, Y, Z and a trapdoor opens under you, sending you to the Firey Pits of Hell. If there are a number of sins beyond which God will not forgive, then I’m justified in my scrupulosity, since God keeps track of everything.
I can hardly live a faith that makes me either give-up in frustration or makes my OCD even worse. It seems like my Cross is covered in barbed wire, slicked in pitch and set ablaze and I’m forced to carry it until it crushes me under it’s weight. I’m desperate for spiritual renewal and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon. 😦
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Dear Brother in Christ.
Please get help for your OCD. and depression. These are chemical imbalances in our brain chemistry. Like diabetes is a insulin imbalance in the pancreas. You would have to take your insulin. For brain imbalances we have to take our meds.
I have to take mine for cyclothymia which is a low cycle bipolar.
Separating the physical ailment which will make you feel like darkness is around you. We have our spiritual life to live. Loving God, having a passionate, loving relationship w Jesus, and a comforting, peaceful relationship w the Holy Spirit. Though the Holy Spirit is the source of power in the Trinity.
The only sin that can’t be forgiven is a sin against the Holy Spirit. A debate continues on what it is. BUT, IF YOU ARE WORRIED YOU COMMITTED IT, THEN YOU DID NOT!! So, all your sins you committed are absolved in confession. Ask your priest to be your spiritual guidance counselor. You and he can share the Gospels and how they relate to you. Jesus suffered for us. We have life situations that wear us down. i.e. illness, deaths, family dramas. These are the crosses we carry until the Resurrection glory frees us from the cross.
All sins are forgiven if sorry and repentant, except that one. “The truth shall set you free.” “HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED.”
“MY PEACE I GIVE YOU, MY PEACE I LEAVE YOU.”
REST, my brother, you are clean before the Lord.
Angels surround you so tonight you may sleep in God’s loving arms.
in Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Tweedlealice, I shall take your words to heart. I will Try again in the hopes I will be successful in overcoming grave sin, and eventually, deliberate venial sin. I just grow so weary of battling sin and seeing as how many sins there are that break the 10 commandments it almost, almost seems impossible. But, alas with god -ALL things are possible!. it’s just that there are over 150 sins (mortal/venial/against the virtues) that seem to be most troublesome.

STILL! I will try my tired best to overcome my temptations and faults and If I am left unworthy before the Holy Throne? Well, at that point…what can I do?
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Therein lies a problem. It seems like no matter what I do, I’m either presuming upon mercy and works, or I’m despairing due to the difficulties/dispositions I have. I know I shouldn’t think negatively and hope for the best, but sometimes hoping for the best seems like wishful thinking when confronted with cold, hard reality. Jesus would I be cold or hot, but since I think I am lukewarm, I shall be spat out.
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Hi,
You can’t be lukewarm. You are too passionate. That means you are hot. Luke warm is not caring, carnality. Being in the world. You want affirmation that God loves you.
Jeremiah 29 / 11 “I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU. IT IS A GOOD PLAN WITHOUT EVIL. IT HAS A PURPOSE AND A FUTURE. " READ Matthew 11: COME UNTO ME ALL YE WHO ARE TIRED AND HEAVY LADEN. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT. LUKE 11 Has “SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND…YOUR FATHER WISHES TO GIVE YOU GOOD GIFTS” …LUKE 12 Has " DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU SHALL EAT OR PUT ON. GOD TAKES CARE OF THE BIRDS OF THE AIR AND THE LILIES OF THE FIELD. HOW MUCH MORE IMPORTANT ARE YOU…” EPHESIANS 3: 14-21. THAT guides you to feel the greatness of God’s love.
You have forgotten this.
Your sister in Christ
Tweedlealice
P.S. gosh don’t look at your life only through eyes looking for sin. You do good things too. Start a journal. Write down only good things you think and feel in it. Write down your sins on another page. For every sin, find the scripture verses that cover the sin.
Remember, if you care this much you are not lukewarm. Jesus loves the handicap. Teach your brother the kid’s Bible stories. Noah’s Ark, Jesus and the little children. I don’t know how old he is or what degree his autism is. Get Christian coloring books and color w him. If your parents can afford it, get Noah’s Ark toy Ark w animals. If he is older, take walks. Collect leaves and rocks. Use computer to find out what kind they are. Make a scrap book for leaves. Get a box for rocks. Your ministry maybe to work w your brother and help him to understand Jesus loves him. Private message me on your sins, if you think that will hrlp. But going to confession and seeing your psychiatrist for medicine change may be all you need. Just a thought. Don’t be jealous of your brother. He is in his own world. Be as close to being Jesus as you can. Let yor light shine for Him. Let the darkness go.Use Holy water to bless yourself and your room, if you feel the darkness coming. Go w parents to watch TV and pick clean funny movie.
in Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
You sound terribly anxious and are really overthinking everything. I would try and seek some help for your anxiety. Maybe you need to simplify your faith for now, go to mass, a manageable prayer routine etc. until you have a more settled mind.
 
From the Diary of St. Faustina:

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul.

Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior; O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord, I hear your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so.

Jesus: I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle.

Soul: Lord, I recognize your holiness, and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold, for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth — the tabernacle — and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue or guards. You can come to me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You Yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O Lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but you did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy. — Diary, 1485

thedivinemercy.org/news/Saint-Faustina-and-the-Sacred-Heart-5872
 
Sounds like you need to go back to basics: Love God. Love one another. Forget about all that other stuff.

Love God. If God seems too distant at the moment, have faith even so. Believe that He provides what you need, believe in His love and mercy. Pray in petition, and pray in thanksgiving.

Love one another. Step up your efforts to show love for the people around you. Listen to them and see that they too are struggling. Be kind. Be truthful. Look for small ways to help.

I’m praying for you. May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you always toward faith, hope, and love.

(This was copied from my post on your previous thread: source.)
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Bear with me as I am suffering from Luke-warmness and Sloth and I hate it and everything irritates me and I’m close to giving up.

As I’ve said before in another post, St Leonard of Port Maurice says there are “A number of sins beyond which God forgives no more”. This left me to ponder if I had gone beyond that threshold and am now starting the path to holiness in vain. What point is there if you’re trying to be holy and you die only to discover your sins weren’t forgiven because you were cold, lukewarm, committed too many sins or X, Y, Z and a trapdoor opens under you, sending you to the Firey Pits of Hell. If there are a number of sins beyond which God will not forgive, then I’m justified in my scrupulosity, since God keeps track of everything.
I can hardly live a faith that makes me either give-up in frustration or makes my OCD even worse. It seems like my Cross is covered in barbed wire, slicked in pitch and set ablaze and I’m forced to carry it until it crushes me under it’s weight. I’m desperate for spiritual renewal and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon. 😦
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I don’t know you so I can’t give you any practical advice other than to say, “Don’t give up, God loves you!” 👍 But, that won’t stop me trying to give you advice. 😛

I can only see going one, or both, of two ways. Either see a doctor about your mental state if you haven’t already. And/or, go do something like volunteer work.

It is, without a doubt, not good for you to sit around thinking or be on the computer. Some people can do it without it effecting their mental state poorly. You don’t seem to be one of them, and you also seem to know it.

Your cross is not crushing you, despair from pusillanimity is crushing you. Despair is not a cross, it’s something that is totally under your control. Take courage, you have nothing to fear.
 
scrupulousrvrt said:
Tweedlealice, I shall take your words to heart. I will Try again in the hopes I will be successful in overcoming grave sin, and eventually, deliberate venial sin. I just grow so weary of battling sin and seeing as how many sins there are that break the 10 commandments it almost, almost seems impossible. But, alas with god -ALL things are possible!. it’s just that there are over 150 sins (mortal/venial/against the virtues) that seem to be most troublesome.

STILL! I will try my tired best to overcome my temptations and faults and If I am left unworthy before the Holy Throne? Well, at that point…what can I do?
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Dear brother in Christ,
Please go get help. I listen to your words and here the same horrible thoughts that live in my head. I suffer from major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD, diabetes and the list goes on. I care for a terminally ill husband with dementia. I work full time. All of this can be so crushing!!

Please see a good psychiatrist and get the appropriate medications for your illness. It will help, really!!

And, may I have your first name? I pray to St. Dymphna each night for myself and others. I would like to add you to my list.

God bless you, brother!
 
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