Cant i forgive?

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beautifulday

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. i m a Catholic from Malaysia,i am 15 yrs old and i went for the confirmation talks, but i am terribly upset. My sister, her friend and i were offended by the words of the young leaders. It happened like this:

the three of us went for the 5th talk out of 18 talks for the confirmation.My application form was incomplete and the youth-in-charge demanded that all of the participants who handed up their forms incomplete to meet them. So, my sister and i waited for the leaders. I was standing for quite a while and one of the leaders gave their seat for me to sit.So, i sat down and wait at the same time at the table for my turn.But, my sister said that i had waited for too long and yet one of the leader scolded me and said," Why are you sitting down, everyone is lining up". The leader, Lorna, glared at me. i was totally confused. My sister was very angry because of her bad attitude and they quarrelled about it. I was very frustrated and yet i chosed to let it go. I said to Lorna," i think that both parties including me may have made a mistake and i dont want this to continue any longer. So i admit that mayb i did a mistake and i forgive you since not everyone is right". Lorna smirked and said to me’" huh! do you even think you can forgive?you are not fit to, only a priest can forgive". I was totally outraged and suddenly, the adult that is in-charge of the leaders came and joined the quarrel. i told her everything including the reaction of the leaders involved. And the adult, Margaret, asked all of them and they lied and said they did not smirk. They ended up accusing me of being full of pride and rightousness and said that i have no rights to forgive anyone. My sister was very angry and beamed Lorna and Margaret.She complained that the leaders’ attitude are terrible and how can she be a leader?.. Margaret replied and said that she was fiercer than Lorna before and she chosed Lorna as a youth leader and we should co-operate. My sister ask her if it is right to follow a bad leader and Margaret answered," You must obey your leader eventough they are wrong!". She called me to apologize to Lorna and i being co-operative by saying an apology.But, Lorna kept on criticizing me.My sister, her friend and I stomped off to our car and drove back home. AM i wrong, cant i forgive people who offended me?

JUst to let all of u know: in the middle of the talk, Lorna told every participants,“You are making my life difficult and i will make yours difficult too”. All the youth leaders seems to be in their early-tewnties but they never stop offending participant by abusing their authority to speak. WE the participants, on the other hand, must obey everything they said without any objections even when it comes to discrimination.PLS tell me all of your opinions
 
I think this is a great time for your mom or dad to get involved. Perhaps they can come to one of your classes and observe. If they see an issue they can present it to the people in charge. In the mean time - yes, anyone has the right -and responsibility- to forgive anyone. That must be some weight on their shoulders to never forgive!
 
First of all, I would like to say that you sound wise beyond your years. Not many 15 year olds would recognize that something is not right with their youth leader.

Secondly, as you draw close to Confirmation, you should be prepared for spiritual warfare. The enemy does not want you to draw near to God and His Bride, the Church. He will try to double-cross you and tempt you in many ways. I will keep you in my prayers.

By the way, what Confirmation names have you and your sister chosen?

:blessyou:
 
i chosed Michael and my sister, Katrina. The evil one is really wise and it really want to stop anyone of us if we try to get closer to God, right?pls pray for us.
 
not as bad as some of the leaders I have heard about. My sister told me that one of the leaders jsut does it t scialize with friends and goes out for coffer during the mass and usually convinces other people to go with her. Some leader that is. EDIT
 
I agree with Sue, get your parents involved. Do you feel confident enough to go and talk to the priest? All of us are called to forgive Jesus taught us this in the Our Father. If we don’t forgive we should think before we ask for forgiveness.
 
Dear Beautiful,

You are at the cross roads of spiritual war!! At every corner, especially the one that brings you closer to God!! The enemy will use people, even those in the church and even leaders!!

Yes, you not only can forgive, but Jesus tells you to forgive!! Sometimes forgiving somebody who has hurt you can be hard. It seems easier for us to just stay mad at them.

The wise and Godly thing to do is: First share the occurance w/ your parents. (w/o your sister there, just you and the folks) Let them know that you are going to devote this to prayer and you would like them to pray about it and for you as well. And that you will let them know if anything else happens.
So, for now, don’t have them go talk to anyone. This is GREAT OPPORTUNITY for you to show Jesus your faith and trust in him.

Next time you go back to class, and hopefully you have given your anger to God and have Forgiven those against you. (Forgive them father for they know not what they do) and ask to speak to your leader in private and let her know something along the lines of: “I wanted to apologize for my non-obidient behavor last time. I have prayed about this and I graciously ask for your forgiveness” You may not feel like you are the one that need be forgiven, but when you are willfully disobident to your elders, you are disobidient to God! While they are wrong, God will take care of you, for he has given them the Authority to rightly lead you!! So, if they are doing wrong, and you are following them even when not in agreement w/ them, the blood will be on their hands!!

You just stay obedient!! And show them who Christ is thru you!! Show them his love and devotion by protraying it to them. Thus letting you win this spiritual war and triumphing over our enemy. Your rewards will be great
 
my mother and my aunt brought me to see the priest, and the priest agreed to investigate. The priest told us that the youth leaders do that to the priest too. So, i can do nothing but to pray. Worse of all, i studied theology and my teacher is Margaret. I chosed to forget about the quarrel but i dont know what the leaders will do.
i am going for theology in 40 mins time from now. I hope God will make it easier for me to learn tonight( even from someone that might hate me)
 
Lorna smirked and said to me’" huh! do you even think you can forgive?you are not fit to, only a priest can forgive". I was totally outraged and suddenly, the adult that is in-charge of the leaders came and joined the quarrel. i told her everything including the reaction of the leaders involved. And the adult, Margaret, asked all of them and they lied and said they did not smirk. They ended up accusing me of being full of pride and rightousness and said that i have no rights to forgive anyone.
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 As I think you recognized, that's just wrong. Rather: "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." I have heard more than one homily that says, "If you cannot forgive others, you have no business saying the Our Father."

 It's hard to tell what's motivating your leaders to do what they're doing. Perhaps they like having their position. My suggestion comes from Jesus. Unfortunately I cannot find the passage, but it goes something like this: "The scribes have been placed on the chair of Moses. Therefore do all that they say, but do not follow their example."

 In other words, continue the meetings, since that's required. Treat your leaders with respect, love and charity. But do not follow their example. Instead, study on your own, using the *Catechism of the Catholic Church, *perhaps with individual sessions with your sister and your priest. Then, when you are sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, thank God for all the graces He has given you in this trial.

 Good luck and may God be with you.
-Illini
 
I would add prayer, but it’s clear you are already doing that!!

-Illini
 
pls pray for me so that i can b confirmed this year. thank you. May God bless all of you.
 
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