Can't seem to move on

[Battle_Warrior]

Every time I go to Confession I end up committing the SAME sins over again. I have a hard time giving up certain sins. I haven’t moved on spiritually because I am still stuck in the same spot; I am being held back by certain sins. When ever I pray I feel like an idiot (praying to Someone Who I offend).

Whenever I go to Confession, I am always scared at I am going to get YELL at.
Sometimes I don’t even try to give up my sins because I find it too hard.

Rebecca

 

[Kontrak]

Peace. Take a deep breath. Try not to let your frustrations get the better of you. Keep up the good fight.

How is your prayer life?

 

[BintuluChuchGuy]

Hello there,it seems you have reached an obstacle in your life.BUT DON’T GIVE UP!!.Remember the time when Jesus was on His way to Calvary,He fell 3 times added with all the wounds and bruises and the weight of the cross he bore.BUT He didn’t give up.

So,you have to move on.Its like a race.We all heading to the end,Heaven,our Home.

Now for the practical stuff.
1.Go for confession,and before you go in,quiet yourself and after the confession,try to thank God and ask for strength.Don’t be afraid,you won’t get yelled at.I too used to go for confession(sometimes every week) and I had no choice but to go the most strict and most stern-est priest of my church.He never yelled at me and somehow we both grew closer.

2.Pray the Rosary,the rosary is a powerful weapon against sin,especially when you’re stuck with habitual sins.Ask our Beloved Mother to lead you closer to Jesus.Im sure other CAF members will recommend the rosary.

3.Discuss your problem with your priest or with your parents or someone you can trust.Just express your problem and try to find out the solution.and remember you’re not alone,you have family,friends and the whole communion of saints to guide and support you.

So,move on and Ill be praying for you.God Bless You

 

[mjs1987]

Certain sins are hard to overcome. You feel like eventually the priest will get tired of hearing the same exact sins from you every week and that he will lose patience and flip out. Sometimes, some people need that. However, in most cases you would be surprised how few priests actually yell. They want to encourage confession and yelling at sinners for sinning doesnt go over too well in the present day.

Certain sins can only be solved by a firm commitment to not do it again. Even then there are some sins that take even longer to solve. You need to find out why you do it. Then find a solution. Some sins go away depending on the situation you are in.

You need to accept you are not perfect. Even if you overcome this sin, there will be another that will pop up and make you feel bad. The devil never takes a day off. All you can do is to try to make his job more difficult by resisting temptation. The more you struggle, the stronger you will become.

Just remember, it is better to struggle with sins than to commit them and not care if they offend God. God knows that humans sin and he still wants us to return to him. I wouldnt let your sins stop you from praying. You can even talk to him about your sins and ask for help.

 

[Reuben_J]

Habitual sin more often than not is a mortal sin. It is also a reflection of the state of your life. Thus besides going to the Confessional regularly with it, we should also give serious thought on why that sin seems to persist. Sometimes it needs radical action on our part to eradicate it from recurring.

Like all repentance, it always starts with a conviction that it is a sin; it is wrong and it will displease God. Second, it needs a decision. We have to decide that we do not want to live with that sin or that state anymore. Then act upon it. Usually we are unable to overcome such sin by our own strength thus we have to surrender it to the Lord and ask him to help us so that we sin no more.

Avoid a situation where it can lead you to sin. And yes, change the lifestyle if necessary. And Of course, pray. Our Mother Mary is a good intercessor; do use her.

Please understand the priest if he yell at you. Repeated sins do not go well with them because it means there is no serious effort to address it by the penitent. But it does not mean that they are scolding you. The fact that you come for confession show that you are sincere about it but remember that the Lord does not only forgive our sin; but also helps and strengthens us to overcome it.

God bless.

 

[ChrisCrop]

i can relate. I confess the same sins over and over too.


but keep trying, you can’t fail if you keep trying!

 

[LilyM]

St Paul might give you a good insight into this:

"… In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12: 7-9)

Our sinful habits might well be just the type of ‘thorn in the flesh’ that St Paul is referring to - and it may serve the same purpose as his, to keep us humble and mindful of our utter dependence on God and our nothingness in and of ourselves.

I seem to recall someone on CAF spoke of an episode where they spoke to their confessor about being sick of confessing the same sins again and again. His response, a great one, was ‘what - you’d rather invent new ones?’ There is no doubt that we all sin, and no reason to believe that we won’t be equally well able to sin in future even if we conquer every sin that currently plagues us.

Most often I find if I worry too much about gaining control over one sin I tend to fall victim to its opposite.

If I talk myself out of the sin of despairing of God’s grace and mercy, I fall prey to the equally bad sin of taking them too much for granted (presumption).

If I take pains to cure myself of a habit of being overly critical of myself or others, I tend then to veer too much to the opposite and be too permissive and complacent about my or their faults and failings.

If I mightily struggle against a tendency to waste too much time with tv or internet, I’ll swing instead to wasting too much of it with music, trashy gossip magazines or something else equally bad as the tv or internet.

It’s called concupiscence.

 

[LilyM]

Habitual sin more often than not is a mortal sin.

Not quite. It is true that some habits, such as a habit of eating way more than one ought or doing way less than one ought, can be mortally sinful (in the guise of the sins of gluttony or sloth) when they become habits rather than occasional occurrences.

However, in general a venial sin will not change its character significantly to become mortal by being frequently repeated or even habitual, just as a mortal sin will not become less grave, or venial, by reason of being infrequent.

On the contrary, the catechism teaches that some sins that ARE objectively grave, such as masturbation, can in fact become subjectively venial for particular sinners by reason of force of habit, if they are indeed deeply ingrained habits.

None of the above means that we should cease striving to eliminate all sin from our souls, even venial sin.

 

[Battle_Warrior]

Thanks everyone for the advice and encouragement. I know that I need to change its just a matter of taking that first step in the right direction. I just kind of feel lost inside…

Rebecca

 

[Catholic1954]

What is your plan to avoid these sins? Sin, like any bad habit, can be broken if you are aware of it at the time and act or react accordingly. Ask anyone who has stopped smoking, they had a plan and used it to change the habit. Prayer is good, but you also have to take postive action. You can do it, ask the priest for advice the next time you are in confession.

 

[St_Francis]

Thanks everyone for the advice and encouragement. I know that I need to change its just a matter of taking that first step in the right direction. I just kind of feel lost inside…

Rebecca

First, know that you need to rely on God and ask for His help, and offer up all the difficulties. Second, understand that these changes you make will be hard, but they will not make you less of a person but more. Think of it as getting cleaned up after falling into the mud rather than having bits of you removed.

Third, here are two books which have helped me a lot: Spiritual Combat by Scupoli (online), and Introduction to the Devout Life, by St Francis de Sales (my “namesake” ); online or in the CAF shop. The first will probably address your immediate problems, the second is good for the long-term. Well, both are…

 

[Battle_Warrior]

Thanks for the links St Francis!!! The problem that I have is that I feel stupid praying to Someone (God) who I have offend.

 

[sovegna_vos]

OP you are very unlikely to get yelled at , particularly if your intentions are sincere, which I’m sure the priest will be able to discern.

However anxious I feel about going to confession, and admitting my all too regular failings, I never ceased to be amazed by the wisdom, patience and kindness of most priests.

I just dont know how they do it.

Its something that non-Catholics just wouldnt understand I suspect- you have to experience it to appreciate how remarkable it is.

I quite often go to confession at Westminster Cathedral in London. On a Saturday they hear confessions from 10.30 am to 6.00pm.

Whilst the priests do take “shifts” throughout that period, its usually fairly busy.

And yet I have never found them rushed or superficial in the way they hear confession. In fact its very moving to see how seriously they evidently take it.

They seem very often indeed to be able to offer just the right words of insight and guidance. Its a very special gift.

I wish those outside the Catholic Church could understand the kindness, gentle encouragement, patience and wisdom found in the confessional. I think it would dispell a lot of misconceptions non-Catholics have about the Church.

 

[EmeraldWings]

Thanks for the links St Francis!!! The problem that I have is that I feel stupid praying to Someone (God) who I have offend.

This is where God wants us to be like little children,
it’s like when we have disobeyed our parents, and they are clearly offended, but if you go to them and tell them you’re sorry, they would not hesitate to forgive you, because they love you so much,
but of course, you would still get grounded or something right?
that is how it is with God and confession, God wants more than anything to forgive us, He longs to so much that it pains Him not to be able to(when we don’t seek it),
and when you go to Him, He does not hesitate to forgive you, He may even forgive you before you enter the confessional, or as soon as you’re sorry,
but of course we must still go to confession, because that is how we show that we are sorry, and not just say it, it is an act of humility and obedience, and the means of obtaining back sanctifying grace.
and then remember that the penance the priest gives you is only to get you started, you still must do other penances afterwords(of course your sins are still forgiven if you don’t)

God is your father, but He is also your friend, and have you ever offended a friend?
it does feel awkward apologizing to a friend sometimes to, but you do it because you love your friend, right?
the more you learn to love God, which is something you must pray for, then the easier it will become, not just to go to confession, but to overcome your sins to,
just keep praying and practicing your virtues and taking advantage of the sacraments, and by doing that, by the grace of God, you will change and grow gradually,
so you might not notice the change at first, but you will see a difference eventually,
you just have to keep at it, because we are really completely dependent on God for everything, and so we must pray.

maybe you will like this - audiosancto.org/

alright, hope this helps, take care.