Card and Present for Same Sex Wedding

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First of all, I wasn’t sure where to put this thread, so I’ll try Family Life. I apologize if this subject has been covered before. I would like to know what kind of card and present a person would give for a same sex wedding, and please don’t suggest a Bible with certain passages highlighted!

I think the issue of whether to go to the ceremony or not has been thoroughly covered in other threads. I am just wondering what you do about a card and present. So, if you were invited to a same sex wedding (and perhaps declined to attend), would you get them a card and a present. If so, what would it look like?
 
I would not send a card or gift. However, if the couple were to announce that they were purchasing a home, I would send a house-warming gift, and if they were to announce that they were adopting a child, I would send a gift to welcome the child. So, for me, it would only be the “wedding” itself that I could not acknowledge or celebrate. If they wanted to know why I won’t acknowledge or celebrate it, I would be honest, but it would be difficult.
 
About a year ago my wife and I attended her hairdressers’ wedding. We just got them something from their registry like any other wedding. Finding a card for that occasion was slightly harder so we just got a blank, but pretty card and went with it.
 
You don’t want to encourage them in their sin, so I’d recommend sending neither gift nor card. I’d just ignore the invite, I wouldn’t go out of my way to condemn their poor choices. There is no need to shun them however and you could freely associate with them, attend other parties they throw (as long as they aren’t thrown specifically for celebrating sin), etc.

Of course, this is a prudential judgement. There are no hard and fast rules about sending cards to same sex “weddings”. Good Catholics can disagree.
 
I would neither send a card nor give a gift. That would indicate that I approved of the situation.
 
Refusing to attend the “wedding” but sending a card & gift sends a mixed message in my mind. This is not something to “celebrate” in person or via gift. Just pray for them!
 
I know that this analogy is flawed (aren’t they all?), but my thinking is this: if you had a friend that flunked out of their classes, yet decided to hold a graduation ceremony for themselves anyway… Would you go? Probably not, since it’s not an actual graduation ceremony and the friend is celebrating something that they didn’t achieve. You certainly wouldn’t send them money/gifts instead, because they’re not exactly celebrating anything legit.

The same is true for a same sex marriage. Marriage goes much deeper than dressing up and saying pretty words at each other. It is the unity of a man and a woman with the intent of giving themselves wholly to each other and their marriage wholly to God. When a same sex marriage occurs, the couple is incapable of giving themselves wholly to the other, so it’s like the graduation ceremony where the person didn’t actually graduate.

Sending a card and gift to congratulate a couple on a marriage that didn’t actually happen- or worse, a ceremony that can endanger the souls OF that couple- isn’t logical or charitable. Sending anything will be acknowledging that you recognize the ceremony as a valid wedding ceremony and will be saying that you at least materially and monetarily support their union.

Unless it absolutely destroys your relationship with the person involved in the union, I would just politely decline to attend and offer your reasoning behind why. If a simple card would salvage the relationship, then you might consider doing that but not anything more.
 
If they are registered, get them something off the registery…although cash is always easier…as for a card, I’d go with a simple “congratulations” card…
 
Listener said:
First of all, I wasn’t sure where to put this thread, so I’ll try Family Life. I apologize if this subject has been covered before. I would like to know what kind of card and present a person would give for a same sex wedding, and please don’t suggest a Bible with certain passages highlighted!

I think the issue of whether to go to the ceremony or not has been thoroughly covered in other threads. I am just wondering what you do about a card and present. So, if you were invited to a same sex wedding (and perhaps declined to attend), would you get them a card and a present. If so, what would it look like?
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No, I would not send a card or gift. At most, I might put a note in with my “regrets” that said I was thinking of them and wishing them happiness. And kind of “Congratulations” or “On your Special Day” card would just be “off”.
 
If you want to do something, perhaps a blank inside card and a generic message like Best Wishes or something like that. Its important to still respect and support the person even if you disagree and cannot support the decision.
 
No card nor present. Sending either sends a message of support and encouragement for their sins. This is something a Christian cannot do.

Politely decline the invitation, and if asked why, you can tell them with charity that you do not agree with their actions and cannot support the “wedding” nor “marriage”.
 
I would send neither. But if it was someone close enough (in the familial/friend sense) where you could have a conversation about it without destroying relationships, I would suggest writing a letter or verbally explaining why you cannot be there. If it is a ‘friend of a friend’ invitation or the like, I think a declined response is all that is necessary.
 
I wouldn’t send either, it would only suggest that there’s something ok about what they’re doing.
 
I’m not a card person… so I wouldn’t do a card. I find them to be a waste of money.

Anyway, as for a present… something off of a registry if they have one? Or a kitchen item? Basically the same thing you’d get a couple for a normal wedding.

I’ve never understood why people make it sound like same sex couples are aliens and that they have to be treated differently. 🤷
 
If you do want to buy the same sex couple a gift then how about one of these charity gifts
m.worldvision.org/gifts?origin=donate.worldvision.org%2FOA_HTML%2Fxxwv2ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp%3Fgo%3Dgift%26xxwvCampaign%3D1136161%26section%3D10389%26prod%3DKo3MB9VH0Wgs0RpxUaDIoEMS%3AS%26prod_pses%3DZG53E434915E8683742346E04A21539E4A151D9C33CF88F013CC99E726FC0AFB2613F562150D3E9147EE726E97B76121B0F8B04934CF99ABF5

That way you have bought a gift but its someone in the third world country who will receive the gift and benefit from the gift not the same sex couple…
 
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