Caring for a spouse

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If you are sick with a stomach bug… Throwing up etc. how do you handle it? How does your spouse treat you and help?

I’ve been very ill the last 24 hours. Just curious if spouses just leave the sick person alone… Or help?
 
Both. If I need my husband to run to the store, get me hot tea, etc, he does it. But there are times I just want to be left alone and deal with whatever is ailing me.
 
PatriceA said:
Both. If I need my husband to run to the store, get me hot tea, etc, he does it. But there are times I just want to be left alone and deal with whatever is ailing me.
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I agree. There’s only so much you can do, anyway… mostly it just takes time and rest to recover.
 
My husband got some bad Chinese and had some food poisoning - really badly - out of work almost a week badly. You keep everything as clean as you can because after they’ve been sick the last thing you want is for them to go to the bathroom a little later and get sick again. You go to the store and get them ginger ale, tea, whatever they desire. I was sad my husband got sick, but I was glad I could repay him - even if only 1/1000 of what he’s been through with me… I have kidney disease and many the time he has helped me - I can’t even count - sitting with me at hospital - rubbing my back while I wretch -holding my hair back or doing anything he can to help. This is a big one where ‘do unto others as you would them do unto you’ comes to mind - but also, there are some people that just want to be left alone. There are time my hubby would get like that (then apologize later)- but anyway, the best thing to do is to stay right on the perrifery - so you can still be there quickly if he calls for you. At the time it’s gross but I don’t know of another man who can still watch me be that sick and then a week later find me attractive again!
God Bless
Rye
 
missme22 said:
If you are sick with a stomach bug… Throwing up etc. how do you handle it? How does your spouse treat you and help?

I’ve been very ill the last 24 hours. Just curious if spouses just leave the sick person alone… Or help?
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your husband - is he totally ignoring you? Or even getting angry at you for being sick?
 
No not mad at me. But he just left me alone. And I was so sick I couldn’t even walk. So last night he woke to tell me he had to leave at 5am for a project. (he did…it was necessity). But that meant I had to get our son up and walk him to school. It was tough, but it’s probably just normal life. I just feel extremely vulnerable since I am so Ill. Thank goodness I’m getting better. Slowly but surely.
 
missme22 said:
No not mad at me. But he just left me alone. And I was so sick I couldn’t even walk. So last night he woke to tell me he had to leave at 5am for a project. (he did…it was necessity). But that meant I had to get our son up and walk him to school. It was tough, but it’s probably just normal life. I just feel extremely vulnerable since I am so Ill. Thank goodness I’m getting better. Slowly but surely.
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I can sympathize. When my husband was deployed, being sick was the hardest actually. I just wanted someone to bring me some chicken soup or rub my feet. Or even just make my daughter’s lunch for school.
 
missme22 said:
No not mad at me. But he just left me alone. And I was so sick I couldn’t even walk. So last night he woke to tell me he had to leave at 5am for a project. (he did…it was necessity). But that meant I had to get our son up and walk him to school. It was tough, but it’s probably just normal life. I just feel extremely vulnerable since I am so Ill. Thank goodness I’m getting better. Slowly but surely.
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What project is this? He’s unemployed! :mad:

It’s not normal life to have a partner who is totally unconcerned that you are very ill. It sounds like you are married to a narcissist. Do you have any family to turn to for support?
 
missme22 said:
If you are sick with a stomach bug… Throwing up etc. how do you handle it? How does your spouse treat you and help?

I’ve been very ill the last 24 hours. Just curious if spouses just leave the sick person alone… Or help?
Click to expand...
When my husband gets sick he just wants to be left alone. He’ll go off, curl up into a ball, and emerge like a butterfly from its chrysalis when he’s better. If he needs something - acetaminophen, water, etc. - he’ll get it himself. He’s a bear when he’s sick, so I’ve learned to just leave him be and keep the kids out of his way.

I actually have a funny (well, now it’s funny) story about my husband being sick. We’d been dating for a couple of months, and I cooked him a birthday dinner: blueback salmon baked in a pistachio crust, corn and lemongrass soup, home baked bread, raspberry sorbet, my best china and table linens, and a vase fresh flowers as the centerpiece. I spent all afternoon on the dinner.

This was on Saturday night, and by Monday I hadn’t heard from him, not even a thank you text. His silence really annoyed me because I’d put a lot of time, effort and money into that dinner, and I couldn’t believe that he’d just ignore that. I called him a couple of times, didn’t hear back, so I went over to his apartment to find out what was going on. Turned out he’d gotten the bad piece of salmon and spent Sunday afternoon in the emergency room on an IV fluid push. 😊 He was still cramped and nauseous when I showed up at his place Monday night.

Thankfully he decided that I didn’t intentionally try to sicken him for his birthday, but it was a while before I felt comfortable offering to cook for him again.

Luna
 
Well, I had gotten him a freelance job and he was scheduled to work today. He couldn’t have backed out. But he def didn’t do much… When he was home except leave me alone.
 
When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be a more serious issue than it is…

I care for my spouse…She has Alzheimer’s. I do all that I can for her which includes pretty much everything**!!!** from bathing to feeding to changing dirty diapers. But still I feel inadequate to the task.

So - My advice to those troubled by how their spouse handles a cold or flu or whatever is this…Be grateful that it isn’t anything worse. Appreciate everything that they do for you AND be grateful for everything you are able to do for yourself in spite of being sick.

Most of all be grateful that the problem is temporary…One day it may not be…It may be dementia, or cancer, or heart disease or…

So spread this around husbands and wives. These little inconveniences are nothing in themselves, but they may well be God’s way of training you for later when it’s no longer inconvenience but full fledged suffering…and suffering enough for both the patient and the caregiver.
Make sure that you recognize in these things how you are called to Love one another and care for one another.

Sorry if this sounds at all harsh…but come-on…

End Rant:sad_bye:

Peace
James
 
Hi Luna - I wanted to send you a message but didn’t seem able - I know this isn’t the place but exception of the - er- shall we say questionable salmon, the pistachio crust on it sounds awesome - got a receipie you can share?
Seriously - I love to cook - this sounds awesome - the sorbet too!
Rye
 
My wife and I both prefer to be left alone. Whichever one of us isn’t sick just picks up the slack and takes care of our daughter, does the chores and checks on the other from time to time to see if they need anything.
 
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