Caring for elderly parents

[bcuster]

It has been a long time since I have started a new thread. I am wondering how many forum members are presently caring for their elderly parents. Are there people like me who have taken that path before (My husband and I lived with his mother the last 2 years of her life) who could be of help to those who are in the thick of things. Sometimes it’s good to have somewhere to vent and somewhere to ask questions.

 

[twopekinguys]

I took care of my mother the last 3 years of her life.

She passed in 2006, almost 3 years after my dad passed.

It ain’t easy, but, in the end it is very rewarding.

 

[Rence]

I’ve been my mom’s primary caregiver since 2004. I work full time, so someone comes in and cares for her/keeps her company when I’m at work or have to be away for a few hours, otherwise I’m always with her.

 

[JRKH]

Well - I’m not taking care of a parent…It’s my wife - who has late stage Alzheimer’s dementia. Does that count?

It is a tough road…but if one is open to it…this road contains many blessings.

Peace
James

 

[peaceplease]

I am caregiver for my mother. She is 88, and has senile dementia. I first started taking care of her two years ago, when she was diagnosed with Lymphoma.

 

[maryjk]

I was caregiver to my mother. Then after her death, my father, until his death.

It has been two years.

I feel I must quote A Tale of Two Cities.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

It was incredibly rewarding. I received so many blessings. And I wouldn’t trade that time with them for anything.

But it was incredibly hard. I was exhausted all of the time. And even though I was living with my husband and son, I felt all alone in the world.

 

[arnulph]

I care for my 88 year old parents. Both are in ill health and require lots of help and time. Some days are more challenging than others, but I still count my blessings and consider it a privilege to serve my parents during their time of need.

But it can be tough.

 

[Serap]

My SIL cares for her 75 year old mother and has been for 15 years. My SIL is miserable most of the time and my husband and I provide a lot of help. My SIL lashes out at us a lot and resents us b/c she is the primary caregiver. No matter how much help we give, it’s not enough.

It’s awful most of the time - the fighting and resentment. We also share a duplex so that we are available to care for my MIL if my sister wants to go out.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

My SIL cares for her 75 year old mother and has been for 15 years. My SIL is miserable most of the time and my husband and I provide a lot of help. My SIL lashes out at us a lot and resents us b/c she is the primary caregiver. No matter how much help we give, it’s not enough.

It’s awful most of the time - the fighting and resentment. We also share a duplex so that we are available to care for my MIL if my sister wants to go out.

Give thanks to her often; start with thank-you’s and end with thank-you’s. Remember she is learning from her mom how to age & eventually die. This is not an easy lesson for anyone. It becomes a harder learning curve when it’s your parent. Her lashing out is most likely the feeling of hopelessness she faces with each day of caregiving. Your job is to bring Jesus into her life, bring hope, and relief.

I would suspect that your husband is also facing immortality and the same lesson of his parent teaching him to age & die. Try to keep him from running from this lesson and offer him Jesus, hope, and relief too.