. . .
If I asked you (anyone out there with time to answer that belongs to a third order) why you joined a third order, but didn’t join a convent/monestery, could you tell me? . . .
Well, it’s a bit difficult to do when one is already married.
I’d always known that I was called to be married and have children and so never considered becoming a religious sister or a monastic. The Secular Discalced Carmelites came on the horizon for me after a number of years of marriage and two children. As with many - perhaps most - Catholics, I’d never heard of “Third Orders” before a friend mentioned her investigation of the OCDS. Desiring something “more”, I, too, sought this out.
What I saw and heard very much echoed what I’d been desiring in my heart for some time regarding a call to tend to contemplative prayer. Discovering St. Teresa, St. John of the Cross and all our other Saints and Blesseds was a true joy. In St. John of the Cross, especially, I found a sure guide and father on the way of perfection. I saw, too, that within the framework of the OCDS Rule and Constitutions was the formation that I needed instead of drifting along following my own religious whimsy. I loved, too, the over-arching Marian aspect of the vocation which is so strong while not being simply “devotional”
Also, I know what a young person is giving up to become a contemplative nun (in the secular sense) and a sense of what she’s getting (everything). What is a secular person giving up and getting when they join a third order?
What a secular person is giving up is what I mentioned above about submitting to the discipline that the Order presents for those who would be faithful members. One is relinquishing a certain possibility there or there for the definite probability here of being more true to God’s desire for one. Now one is deciding to make a committment to all that the OCDS Constitutions entail, knowing that for oneself this is how best to be transformed to more closely image Christ. For a member of another Order, that Rule is what bests suits the formation of that individual.
I wanted to do this and I’ve wanted this for a long time. Why when it becomes possible do I out of the blue question and pull away? I don’t understand myself, my actions, or what the heck I’m doing. Am I taking this too seriously? How can that be?
Annie, have you approached the local OCDS Community about attending a meeting as a Guest? If not, then attending a meeting might help you see more clearly if this is something you do want to pursue. If you have attended a meeting, then perhaps it is the fear of making a decision that you may come to regret when you think you can’t live up to what is expected of the members. But, remember, one doesn’t come into any Order as a full-blown Carmelite, Benedictine, Dominican, etc.; but there is an ongoing discernment process until one makes the Definitive Promise after a period of years of Formation. If this is what one is called to, then clarity will come and one will see that there is a correspondence within one’s heart to what sees, hears and experiences within the Community and that overflows into one’s daily life lived in fidelity to the Rule and Constitutions outside of the meeting time.
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As the Lord said, “Come and see.”